Ranting

[Chiclet 70]

What SmeJack said, and he definitely phrased it better than I would have managed. I have Derecho muted in game and I'm really happy to keep it that way forever.

[Derecho 50]

I dont understand why this is needed in a video game? Someone once told me that everyone in wurm has a sad story and throughout my time I have found this for the most part to be true but thats is likely because just about everyone in the world has one. For me video games are a nice distraction from real life and a thread like this only screams 'look at me I WANT SOME ATTENTION' and then following that you get the nice people posting that attention and you get the trolls posting their opinions and all of this leads nowhere good.

because everybody needs to rant once in a while, this isn't a perfect little book where we all live happy lives and nothing is ever wrong.

[fatboy 448]

derecho i can fully relate to you on this. Last year my gf had an experience like that. They overdosed her, made her 100x worse then she was before she went in there. Before she went here she had 0 issues seeing a doctor. Now she fears her life when she goes near them. She is prego atm. and this is a major problam for me as she needs to see a baby doc. because 2 docs said she had a uti then came back around a week later and said she doesnt. ER said she wasnt overdosed , handed her a paper for panic attacks. Well the meds she was told to take, has a side effect, says on the bottles, Overdose systempons, Severe panic attacks. I told the er doc to walk away as fast as he can before i hurt him.

So i took her off the med. But because all these places didnt give a ###### to there jobs properly, She fears any and all doc's and now im left in 1 hell of a boat. When she was in the facility last year, None of them checked for a possible medical issue, Inside they tried to say she was going nuts, and on her 2nd day in there loaded her up on meds. Not once did these people try to see if she had something wrong. I tried but she wouldnt let me at home as well, she had a nervious breakdown. Anyhow my mom works in these kinds places. They simply drugem so they dont have to deal with them. There is no Rehab, No here we will help you get better the natural way. Its simply take these pills overdose or turn into a zombie. Yea i hate most docs now also. hate these facilitys. My gf still has issues , but shes living life. Once i break her fear of docs again, life will be alot better for me and especially for her. and this is why i go mia at times. i live 1 very complicated life.

[fatboy 448]

also thanks derecho, this is a nice thread to let out RL issues as well, no where else to chat aboutem.

[Castile 167]

I probably have no right to say anything because i have not experianced anything like this but like most things in life we seem to ask the wrong question and it seems to me that how ever bad things have got for you you have always hung on.

I think the answer to the question of why youve held on to life is the thing you need to keep closest to you.

[alaskanbob 225]

I probably have no right to say anything because i have not experianced anything like this but like most things in life we seem to ask the wrong question and it seems to me that how ever bad things have got for you you have always hung on.

I think the answer to the question of why youve held on to life is the thing you need to keep closest to you.

While you say you haven't experienced it before you've still asked a very good question.

Everyone has a story. They aren't all fun but lets show eachother some compassion? I cant say how many times in the past all I wanted someone to do was just sit me down and ask how I really was doing. I can open up and talk to people but then it always felt like a desperate plea for attention.

Don't give up. Keep fighting. Rant on

[3dSquareMan 146]

i was made fun of in school but now im in college and successful and they are all street pharmacists

[Farmerbob 369]

I have a hobby, I chase and photograph severe storms, produce music, DJ, restore cars, and various other things.

No matter what, you always have that depressing thought in the back of your head, no matter what you do, it's always there.

No matter who you are, unless you have some other form of mental illness that divorces you from reality, there will be negative thoughts. The problem with depression is that it amplifies them. And depression gets worse if unchecked, because like most other thought processes, if you spend mental effort on it, you get better at it. Better at finding the bad things. And if life's handing you a bag of ######, there might not be a whole bunch of good things to try to account for to counter all the bad things you have to think about. You already know these things though, almost certainly.

One of my friends years ago told me what they did whenever they had to break themselves free from a particularly bad moment. They had a picture of Stephen Hawkings in their wallet, sitting in his chair and smiling, with a little text blurb at the bottom saying "stop bitching". Whenever things got bad, they pulled out that pic and looked at that man smiling and realized that things really weren't so bad after all.

Stephen Hawkings might not be the best choice of someone in a terrible condition for you to identify with, but I'm sure that there are people in the world that you could get an image of, who are in awful circumstances, and yet still find themselves able to smile.

Just finding the right image that's jarring enough to have a positive effect on you might take a lot of time, and introduce you to a whole lot of awful situations that make those things you get depressed about seem small.

I'm no therapist, but compassion and thankfulness are not depressing thoughts - if you can trigger those when things get bad, you might drag yourself out of a funk.

[Brash_Endeavors 4,735]

I still have hallucinations on a daily basis, and 20 minutes in the sun leaves me with 3rd degree burns, and this is after 6 years.

This may not be the type of situation where simply thinking "ah things could be worse", will necessarily "snap you out of it." And a lot of depression has zero to do with feeling sorry for yourself or even thinking how bad things are. Sometimes it is simply having zero interest in anything. Zero.

In any case, it's certainly better for him to have a rant-thread to blow off steam if he wants, everyone has the free option to simply shrug and move on to other threads. If it made him feel better to post a thread in Wood Scraps, well, there are many topics here that don't really have any point then giving someone a place to say something they feel like saying. He wasn't particularly asking for a solution to his issues, just a chance to rant about it for a minute.

Edited February 21, 2013 by Brash_Endeavors

[Guest Docterchese]

I tend to find turning to my closest friends to be the best kind of therapy.

This.

I haven't got many close friends yet just one was enough to pull me through some tough times I had last year. She also suffered a lot because of helping me when I was a grumpy ####, but on a whole I think we've both come out stronger (and in a relationship, happy endings FTW!)

My best piece of advice is to keep yourself busy. Find things to do and do them, you won't escape depression but you'll do well to avoid it. Stick at that, expand your horizons, think on the positive side and hey, you might find yourself feeling better in the future.

The story of your childhood sounds horrendous, sadly depression really is not understood well enough in enough places.

[silakka 2,360]

psychiatrists nowadays... psh.

You need to be a rich bastard to get real treatment.. otherwise 'that' happens..

[Derecho 50]

Hey fatboy, if you ever need someone to talk to send me a PM in game or on the forums, I'd be willing to listen.

[Windeee 36]

I dont understand why this is needed in a video game? Someone once told me that everyone in wurm has a sad story and throughout my time I have found this for the most part to be true but thats is likely because just about everyone in the world has one. For me video games are a nice distraction from real life and a thread like this only screams 'look at me I WANT SOME ATTENTION' and then following that you get the nice people posting that attention and you get the trolls posting their opinions and all of this leads nowhere good.

You should be gratefull that you just don't get it.

[Liandal30 40]

I've never understood how they can diagnose someone with depression.Depression isn't a disease,it's symptom of a larger problem.It could be any given number of things.It's the same as diagnosing someone with chest pain,no doctor in their right mind would use that diagnoses yet when it comes to mental issues it's tossed around like candy.They think they can diagnose a problem by just listening to you,in some cases they can,but they rarely if ever do any tests on the actual organ they are treating.You would think by now,2013,there would be better ways to test/see the human brain.

[Farmerbob 369]

I've never understood how they can diagnose someone with depression.Depression isn't a disease,it's symptom of a larger problem.It could be any given number of things.It's the same as diagnosing someone with chest pain,no doctor in their right mind would use that diagnoses yet when it comes to mental issues it's tossed around like candy.They think they can diagnose a problem by just listening to you,in some cases they can,but they rarely if ever do any tests on the actual organ they are treating.You would think by now,2013,there would be better ways to test/see the human brain.

You can diagnose someone with depression just like you can diagnose someone with a headache. And yes, you can diagnose people with chest pain. We understand how the chest cavity works a lot better than we understand how the brain works though, so normally a "chest pain" diagnosis becomes a clearer diagnosis after a few tests - but not always.

You don't need to know exactly what is causing depression, nor does knowing that it is depression mean you can fix it, but you can certainly diagnose it.

At one point in the distant future when we have 100% knowledge of every single body function there will perhaps be a true blueprint for diagnosis, but in this day and age, we're simply not that good with the brain yet. Sometimes it can be obvious. Sometimes a really good guess can be made based on what we do know. And then there are the times when it just doesn't make even the smallest bit of sense because we don't know enough.

[Raybarg 442]

For those who cant tell difference between the mood and disorder should consult wiki before throwing hasty concluded "advices" about "snapping out of depression" (although, in case of a depression mood, such could be solution, but not with clinical depression).

To understand clinical depression requires to understand the (quite simple) fact that it is a stage of having altered activity in numerous brain areas. Its physical change, not something that could be "thought off".

There is no single cause known to cause depression (as in neurobiological sense) but long list of attributes (like stress as a good example) are known to alter activity in various brain areas that will become permanent if prolonged.

[Miretta 1,415]

I think the problem with depression is, that similar to other "disorders" the borders are fluent. for me it never got really diagnosed, cause I never went to a doc with it....but I'm pretty sure I still have it every day, have to fight against those thoughts that want to make me crawl into a corner, isolate myself from everyone, drowning into self-pity and then closing the circle by beeing frustrated and feeling helpless against those thoughts that come up....

since a few years I'm starting to "feel" myself again, my thoughts are clearer and I rarely have the feelings that nothing matters and that everything is dull for me.

the thing is...therapy or not, medicaments or not you HAVE to fight it ! you have to fight it with logic and questioning your every own move and thought. Medicaments were never meant to "cure" the problem...a doc once told me, those medicaments are meant to give you the opportunity to "experience" other results when your negative thoughts arent influencing your actions, because this experience can help to get a grab out of the circle.

normally your thoughts would always try to force your actions into the result you expect and as hard as it sounds it gets kinda "comfy" for your head to know that everything is always happening as expected....and if something doesn't fit into it, it gets erased.....thats also a reason why its so hard to get out of it....

anyone who doesnt suffer from it should think for a moment how his life would be if you blend out all good experiences or nearly all o.o or if you try to see them from a negative viewpoint..

btw I believe that depression is similar to those "ticks" disorders some people have...when they have to wash their hands every 5 minutes or have to count every paving tile that they cross...every brick and so on.

It's similar as it seems that every thought is focused on that specific "tick" in case of depression it would be bad thoughts about every situation

Edited February 26, 2013 by Miretta

[Rathgar 959]

you mean obsessive compulsive disorder, yeah.

a problem I see is that a lot of people use this terms very, VERY lightly. A dude gets bummed out because he stepped on ######, or because his bike broke, "ohh, Im so depressed", stupid and ignorant emo teenages who think that they suffer depression, while in fact they are just dumb (wich is a completely diferent condition). The same with OCD and ADD, this are real disorders, just because you like a balanced structure with say.. a mirrored axis, it doesnt mean that you have a mental disorder. Or if you are a lazy bum that rather watch cartoons instead of sitting your ass down to study, its not the same as having an attention deficit disorder, it just means you are irrisponsable and a lazy bum.

But stupid people across the globe use this terms as excuses for their own pathetic behaviour, and in the end, the people with real disorders get the shaft,, because its hard to tell if someone is sad or a jerk, or if he has a real disorder, maybe caused by a real chemical unblanace, and is really having a bad time from an illness.

PS: In either cases I dont condone people being jerks to others for no apparent reason.... Im looking at Derecho right now.

Edit: I do not suffer any of this conditions, I am just a jerk by choice, I can still blame society and parents for my behaviour though.

Edited February 26, 2013 by Rathgar

[Raybarg 442]

normally your thoughts would always try to force your actions into the result you expect and as hard as it sounds it gets kinda "comfy" for your head to know that everything is always happening as expected....and if something doesn't fit into it, it gets erased.....thats also a reason why its so hard to get out of it....

Thats good observation, made me think of this new stuff about psychology; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schema_(psychology)

With which what you described is along with it, except that "erased" part... for which the schema description of "people are more likely to notice things that fit into their schema, while re-interpreting contradictions to the schema as exceptions or distorting them to fit". If cause for depression or anxiety.. or just overall reduced quality of life happiness... is caused by reinforced "schemas" then your suggestion to constantly "fight them" is correct assesment, but effectiveness of a process to do that would be greatly improved with therapy, and acceptance that it might take years.

[Miretta 1,415]

Thats good observation, made me think of this new stuff about psychology; http://en.wikipedia....ema_(psychology)

With which what you described is along with it, except that "erased" part... for which the schema description of "people are more likely to notice things that fit into their schema, while re-interpreting contradictions to the schema as exceptions or distorting them to fit". If cause for depression or anxiety.. or just overall reduced quality of life happiness... is caused by reinforced "schemas" then your suggestion to constantly "fight them" is correct assesment, but effectiveness of a process to do that would be greatly improved with therapy, and acceptance that it might take years.

I like that wiki article^^ I think there was a quote from someone...forgot who it was, that "humans are habit-animals" (it sounds better in german)

I think that most peoples behaviour is about what they once tried and noticed it works in a way or another (heck maybe a reason why some think its ok to steal if no one stops them at their first attempt) it has alot of variety in depth how much it influence our later decisions and life overall and how much it is beeing able to be changed later. Some stuff we already know that is learned as a kid is really really hard to get rid off and it has really a huge influence on what we are, even though we can't tell exactly how "kids" result out of their childhood...even under the "same" circumstances.

I sometimes think that depression may have alot of different "reasons" to exist, but mostly I think it's a form of protection from our brain(maybe the reason for the chemical change?) it has atleast similar symptoms like a shock status....just its more like your gear wheels got put into a freezing liquid instead of freezing completely(but guess thats also a matter of how strong the depression is)

this is mostly my own observation over the years and about that "erased" part...it's a problem I have to face myself. After spending years on making those damn mechanics "perfect" and when I tried to loosen my gear to look behind, whats all causing it and where the sense behind all this crap and stupid thoughts is, my system "evolved" a new mechanic, it let me find out something until a certain degree and then it erased my "success" afterwards....the good feelings about it. Like the good experience never happened....it was a good excuse to get back to old habits :/

and honestly...if i had to give someone a hint about what to do: go get yourself help! professional one, because even though it failed for me it IS important to get behind all this, to have someone who makes a step into the door, you wanted to close again, to suffer behind it. I cant even say for sure it failed for me as it was just lots of different people affecting me and also helping me. It is important to see and then believe others that there are ways to overcome it, mostly through logic and awareness of what exactly you do without judgement!

[Raybarg 442]

this is mostly my own observation over the years and about that "erased" part...it's a problem I have to face myself. After spending years on making those damn mechanics "perfect" and when I tried to loosen my gear to look behind, whats all causing it and where the sense behind all this crap and stupid thoughts is, my system "evolved" a new mechanic, it let me find out something until a certain degree and then it erased my "success" afterwards....the good feelings about it. Like the good experience never happened....it was a good excuse to get back to old habits :/

The tricky part of our minds is how the reinforced patterns are making us quite "blind" to the contradicting information we perceive. If certain behavior pattern has been reinforced trough past experiences to a point it is harmful for our current life, we might actually be overcompensating it.

Overcompensating is the tricky part, it could be happening in several ways for which one of them is doing the exact opposite of the past experience (as in full contradiction to it).

If you have consciously created "mechanics", it is possible that you created them to reinforce the already reinforced experiences and only lead yourself into overcompensating or distorting your "mechanics" to be according to your beliefs.

[Miretta 1,415]

The tricky part of our minds is how the reinforced patterns are making us quite "blind" to the contradicting information we perceive. If certain behavior pattern has been reinforced trough past experiences to a point it is harmful for our current life, we might actually be overcompensating it.

Overcompensating is the tricky part, it could be happening in several ways for which one of them is doing the exact opposite of the past experience (as in full contradiction to it).

If you have consciously created "mechanics", it is possible that you created them to reinforce the already reinforced experiences and only lead yourself into overcompensating or distorting your "mechanics" to be according to your beliefs.

exactly, and it has alot of similarities of what people call "building your own dream castle", just it's alot less pleasant then a dream castle you make your own world with your own rules and are living within your selfmade borders that will get you stuck everywhere because there is still the outside world with it's rules you can only bend to a certain degree until the fassade breaks and you notice that something is really wrong with ya....and then the circle starts from new and is telling you that others are the fault for it....

oh well...but there are many ways to overcompensate or distort your mechanics/world/system

[SmeJack 5,807]

You should be gratefull that you just don't get it.

Should be gratefull that i just dont get what exactly? Having an illness or feeling the need to cry about it in the virtual world for attention?

[Vean 131]

In Poland there is a "brain surgeon" that helped lots of people with illness like yours, his name is Marek Harat.

[Windeee 36]

I dont understand why this is needed in a video game? Someone once told me that everyone in wurm has a sad story and throughout my time I have found this for the most part to be true but thats is likely because just about everyone in the world has one. For me video games are a nice distraction from real life and a thread like this only screams 'look at me I WANT SOME ATTENTION' and then following that you get the nice people posting that attention and you get the trolls posting their opinions and all of this leads nowhere good.

You made this sound like he's just having a bad day, "everyone has a sad story". The depression that's being talked about here is not just the blues, it's a thousand times worse.

If you never experienced this type of depression you should be grateful.