Posted September 15, 2012 An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman took part in a competition to see who had the greatest ability to endure foul smells. Each of them had to share a cage for as long as possible with an extremely smelly goat.The Irishman lasted three minutes, The Scotsman lasted four minutes. Then the Englishman went in, and after five minutes the goat came out. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2012 You will be back Kajmir, See you soon 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 15, 2012 There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.the following ones dont count i guess i just felt like sharing them---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I tried water polo but my horse drowned. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'.Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 16, 2012 Heisenberg is speeding down the highway, when a cop pulls him over. The cop walks up to his car and asks, "Excuse me sir, do you know how fast you were going?" And Heisenberg responds, "No...but I know exactly where I am!"I wonder if I'm the only one that understood this one. Should be the winner IMO. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 16, 2012 I wonder if I'm the only one that understood this one. Should be the winner IMO.You realize this is Wurm, right? I'm 15, and even I got that one... Wurm attracts a more educated class of people Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 16, 2012 I always was prison of my mind, but I never realized the door was not locked. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 17, 2012 Not sure if it's still going, but might as well tell it!A man dies and stands before the gates of heaven. The gatekeeper approaches him and says "Alright then, tell me about something good that you have done".The man says "Well, I was at a parking lot and I see a group of bikers harassing this lady. So of course, I approach them and tell them to stop harassing her. One of the bigger guys, full with tattoos and stuff comes forward and tells me to mind my own business or else. Well I'm not scared so I just told them to get the hell out of here or I'd beat the living crap out of them.""Interesting", says the gatekeeper, "and when did this happen?"-"About 5 minutes ago" 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 17, 2012 (edited) There was a king who so loved his favorite flower, his Rose, he wanted to provide only the best. So he brought in the finest tutors, musicians, historians and tailors. For 2 years he continued this until he finally felt his Rose was ready.. at the great unveiling in front of the kingdom, his tutors each took a turn and ask'd the king's Rose a single question, and at each, Rose remained silent.The kings adviser, fearing for his own life, starts to call out to have tutors executed.. which the king orders a stay with these words:"Enough! I must concede the point, that you may lead a horticulture, but you cannot make it think." Edited September 17, 2012 by Hussars Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 17, 2012 (edited) One day a man walks into a bar and sees a man sitting in the corner who has an orange for a head.Shocked, the man feels compelled to find out why on earth he has an orange for a head. He buys the man a drink and goes over to his table 'Excuse me mate. I've got you a drink here, would you mind telling me why you have an orange for a head?' 'Oh, ok' the man replies 'take a seat, it's a long story' So the man sits down in eager anticipation for the man with an orange for a head to explain why he has an orange for a head.'A year ago' he began 'I was climbing a mountain in the Alps when I found, buried in the snow, a lamp. I did what you have to do and rubbed the lamp and out popped a Genie who said he'd grant me three wishes.After a few minutes I said that I'd like to be richer than any man before me and any man in the future. 'Consider it done' said the genie 'and your second wish?'I thought for a minute and asked to become the most irresistable man to women on the planet. The genie said that if that was my wish then it is done.'And your third?' the Genie asked. Well, after a long think I decided to ask for an orange for a head.' Edited September 17, 2012 by Pragmatist Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 17, 2012 Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 17, 2012 I like my women like I like my meats, cut up and in the freezer! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 17, 2012 I would like to say thank you to kajmir for making this awesome thread. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 18, 2012 I am humbled. Thank you to Kajmir and all the other people who posted. I offered to buy her a month of prem to play Wurm with me and her reply was unpostable. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
