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Farmerbob

What Has Farmerbob been doing? Blogfiction! Symbiote

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Well, I've played a grand total of about 12 hours of MMO games in the last two months.  As opposed to the 8-16 hours per day that I would put in before.


 


So what have I done with that time?


 


A little original fiction, "Symbiote".  42 chapters in about 2.5 months, for somewhere around 3-4k words per chapter.  No, I'm not really bothering to keep track of word count, though I have set a minimum word count per chapter at 3000 as an almost-never-broken rule.


 


http://farmerbob1.wordpress.com/


 


I loved crafting in Wurm.  I love crafting an entire universe more.  Chances are at this point that MMO's are a part of my past, permanently.  I'll still piddle around with them every now and then, but my creative urges are very well satisfied by writing :)


 


Stop by, feel free to throw fruit if you find anything blatantly broken.  There are continuity things in book 1 that haven't been cleaned up - I'm up to chapter 1.9 in the final pass editing (will be editing 1.10 today)


 


So what's the story about:


 


One Day, Bob, a random middle aged guy, starts talking to himself and there are two personalities in the conversation.  It doesn't take him long to prove that it's not the leftover shrimp lo mein, or a stroke - there really is someone else in his head.  He and his symbiote try to make sense of the world, but fail pretty spectacularly at figuring things out despite being reasonably smart because they simply don't know enough to understand what is going on.  After a while, most of the basics are answered, but Bob begins to get into a really bad headspace with some of the things he's forced to do.


 


Science Fiction.  Present day / near future.


Edited by Farmerbob
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Humm.. I browse it a bit and feels reluctant to read cause there is no excerpt of what the story about. .. sorry xD 


Edited by rosedragon

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Humm.. I browse it a bit and feels reluctant to read cause there is no excerpt of what the story about. .. sorry xD 

 

OK, I added a brief blurb about the story :)  Sorry, I really should have done that to start with.

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What was the background? fantasy? today days? future? Why suddenly him and symbiote try to make sense of the world? Is it philosophical like sophie's world? I would though the conflict was his interests and the symbiote's interests.. but seems not like it.. what is the conflict?  :) Sorry but I think it is your best interest to have interesting blurb.. of what the whole thing about.. x) and no need to spoil third chapter hehe.. 


 


Edited by rosedragon

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Heh, Rose, It's science fiction, modern day / near future.


 


I was talking about the third book, not the third chapter :)  There are 42 chapters, so far.


 


If I try to explain everything in a blurb, it comes out "I wrote a story, it has stuff in it"  I can remove references to the third book though.


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Finished to chapter 1.4, interesting! I will be back reading tomorrow :) .


edit: end of 1.5... I laughed :D


Edited by rosedragon

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Read up to 1.3. It's very interesting and well written! Will read some more tomorrow.


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Thanks you two.  Kind words are appreciated, but if you see anything that requires fruit throwing, let me know :)


 


I most definitely do not mind people pointing out my mistakes, or places where things just don't fit.


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Finished first book, the disposable characters Bob encounter felt unrealistic as they either fully ###### or tooo helpful.. People in real life more wary on investing much on a stranger. Also Bob conveniently seems to get everything he needs like in a game, need more of hit and miss.. I only see hit and miss when the agents come to them and ruin all their plans of being a celebrity or work for the mining guy. But beside that, the ride have been very thrilling and entertaining and you built up the climax pretty well.. a bit awkward of the new body thing but the gorilla solution was unpredictable.


 


Still, I can't understand why the scientists can implement firewalls and such to symbiotes while they are not the ones who create these. Probably have to be explained that they identify people that have symbiotes and somehow they inject something to alter the symbiotes? IF, they are not the bad guys of course..


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Also suggestion for excerpt, I don't word it delightfully like you did tho.


 


One day, Bob, a common middle aged guy, starts to figure out that there is another being living in his body. A symbiote he calls Frank, that have power to alter his body and superior reactions but riddled with traps and killswitch. Together, Bob and Frank struggles to survive with theirs newfound power and to answer bigger questions about symbiotes and its origins.


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Also suggestion for excerpt, I don't word it delightfully like you did tho.

 

One day, Bob, a common middle aged guy, starts to figure out that there is another being living in his body. A symbiote he calls Frank, that have power to alter his body and superior reactions but riddled with traps and killswitch. Together, Bob and Frank struggles to survive with theirs newfound power and to answer bigger questions about symbiotes and its origins.

 

I see what you mean.  Hrm.  I'll make another attempt at an excerpt later.  At work now, and I'll have to think about this.

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Finished first book, the disposable characters Bob encounter felt unrealistic as they either fully ###### or tooo helpful.. People in real life more wary on investing much on a stranger. Also Bob conveniently seems to get everything he needs like in a game, need more of hit and miss.. I only see hit and miss when the agents come to them and ruin all their plans of being a celebrity or work for the mining guy. But beside that, the ride have been very thrilling and entertaining and you built up the climax pretty well.. a bit awkward of the new body thing but the gorilla solution was unpredictable.

 

Still, I can't understand why the scientists can implement firewalls and such to symbiotes while they are not the ones who create these. Probably have to be explained that they identify people that have symbiotes and somehow they inject something to alter the symbiotes? IF, they are not the bad guys of course..

 

Book 2 gets more serious.  Book 3 more than that.  I probably do need to look into putting a bit more serious into Book 1

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I read about the firewall reason on second book. I still think that if I am Bob or Frank I would suspicious on how Bob can get a symbiote and how the agency put things on it... I think there need either a cryptic short answer of this or a lie.. in the first book. 


 


Also, chap 2.6... might want to avoid putting brands like nokia on your story unless the brands acknowledge it. While we are on it.. youtube and google... how about make parody brand for it? like... wutube and woogle?


Edited by rosedragon

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There are some inconsistencies in the first book on how symbiotes work.  That's one of the things I am addressing as I move through the chapters on a heavy editing pass,  Tonight when I wake up I'll be editing Chapter 1.11 and might also edit 1.12 if I have time.


 


As for name brands, very few name brands have problems with their brands being used in fiction, as part of a character's day to day life, provided they are used respectfully.  If you catch me downtalking a name brand, oh yes, please tell me.


Edited by Farmerbob

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No you hasn't downtalking any... but considering copyright mess I have saw as game dev, there were some cases where brands decides they deserve some shares when mentioned or brand logo used on famous literature/game/music/etc.. Even more often on game biz and visual artworks, with a few C&D letters sent to website owners, game makers, or video makers... thus why there are many parody-brands around that looks like real brand. I think best that at least you are aware that it is possible problem in the future. 


 


Chapter 3 is interestingly... grim. Chapter 2 feels a bit off here and there, a few combats feel rushed I have no real idea what happened or that Bob is too trusty... he showed his concealed blade to Star but then state they feel they still can't trust Star and her people. Overall Bob and Frank talked too much details to people that supposedly they don't trust. The introduction to the genocidal agency guy is a bit deus ex machina.. I think its best to see him around the agency more before that, maybe noted as pure human manager-thingy that put attentions to what agency do, but seems distant on involvement. The details about biocomputer disinterest me cause I don't understand what was described... too technical for me I think?


 


I'm interested of more philosophical struggles between Bob and Frank... like how symbiotes make humans meta-humans.. how it is not fully black and white, symbiotes-related problems, or the moral struggle of trying to fix US through possibly assassinations. Tho due to the nicely fast-paced story.. I am not sure if the story will benefit with this xD ...


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I'm not any sort of experienced author, so I'll probably eventually go the route of removing brand names just because it's safer that way.  Put it on the list of things to do, right underneath "edit chapter 1.11" and "Write a new intro" and above "Figure out ways to mention Ellis earlier"


 


Thing is that all of this, everything so far.  It's all world building.  A lot of authors give you peeks and dribs and drabs of the world that built the characters that they write about.  I'm trying to write what made Bob what he is, before I stabilize the world where I want it and start exploring.


 


This, of course, means that I need to clean up unintentional ambiguous bits.  Like Narration tenses, symbiote lore mistakes, and actually finishing at least one more book.  Maybe 2.


 


What you are interested in is squarely what I'm aiming at, eventually.  A world where everyone can be immortal, if they want to be.  But some will choose not to be.  Where everyone can do almost anything they want, but some people will choose to do nothing.  Symbiotes have personalities, and they aren't angels, as I attempt to portray to some extent with Mouse.  There will be symbiotes and hosts that agree to perform crimes.  There will be death and murder.  But there will be far less accidental tragedy in the world.  I plan on eventually dropping Bob right into the middle of that mess, and exploring it with him. 


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finished 3.10, loving the mental struggle of being the hero Bob had.. and his interaction with Jason and mouse are so far more matured, less trust-easy beside the have to share all the knowledge so both survive, and hit well on how trauma works (repetition of the whole canibalism issue). You also did well on giving hint to us of trap but not letting us guess it that much... and seems there is another trap since Bob and Jason peacefully waddle around that lake.... so fishy...


 


Very proud of what you have make, it is not a polished craft, but it is intricate and full of details I can't pull myself. And you being editor of yourself is not an easy task.. and returning to what supposedly 'finished book' is a drag... don't take all my suggestions granted tho since I could be wrong :) . Overall, it is a very good job, I am already absorbed to the main characters and the world... felt like I want to plunge in and take one of the hero role... Considering how serious this serie is.. might want to consider a domain to make it easier for people to search.


 


I already even anticipated what the next books will bring.... Clash between symbiotes? Evil people found out a way to somehow weaken / control / cause chaos on symbiotes? Problem of humans being victim of some superior-feeling symbiote-human? (I am thinking of something of scale of deus ex human revolution here hehe) Sppppppaaaceeeeeeeee war with humans? Spaaaaacccccee war with alien force? :D


 


Ahhhh, I hate series.. cause updates is slower than how fast I can read.. you need a symbiote to help you write this, Bob!


Edited by rosedragon

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Rose, if you haven't read Worm yet, it's worth it IMHO.  Some other good fiction linked to on the right sidebar of my page as well.  Worm is about 10x the content that is in mine so far.  The author of Worm is currently writing Pact, which is linked there as well.


 


The rest of the stuff is mostly superhero fiction.  Varying qualities, stuff I've enjoyed at least the beginnings of, for various reasons.  Legion of Nothing has smaller updates, but Jim's been writing it for six years or so.  Very fun teen superhero fiction.


 


I'm currently reading World Domination in Retrospect.  That one's a bit warped.  It's not a superhero theme, it's a supervillain theme, and Psycho Gecko lives up to his name there.  Less polished work but way more unpredictable than most, with just enough story stability to keep things on the tracks. 


 


The League of Prey is also an exploration of the darker side, but I don't think they have powers yet.  I really started to dislike the main character though, and have taken a long break from reading it from about halfway through.  The author did too good of a job creating a main character that is a psychopath, and is good at manipulating people.  I had to take a break from it.


Edited by Farmerbob

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Suntzu, the whole blog fiction thing is fun.  If you are like me, you wrote stuff, and never did anything with it because it wasn't "good enough"


 


Constantly re-writing, never publishing, etc.


 


The blogfiction scene allows you to punch through that barrier, and put things out there a little bit at a time and see how folks react.  Sure you put some ugly things out there from time to time.  Oh well, then you go back and edit it.


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Published 3.11 today, but...


 


Added about 2000 words to chapter 3.11 - I was rushed to publish it earlier, and when I reread it, it didn't do anything close to what I wanted, so I added a lot.


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I read that last chapter, not sure if it is edited one or not :P .. also I usually only interested on fantasy... 


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