What Do The Swedish Kids Think?

[Suntzu 644]

wondering what the kids think, Discuss

 

http://news.yahoo.com/fears-brat-ocracy-child-centred-sweden-032211025.html

 

[viruskiller 105]

hmm,, this kinda gives me an inside as to  why that Che guy is the way he is.. 

[Aeris 3,751]

That debate went from "don't hit children" to "don't teach your children to behave" long ago. Parents are too afraid to be the "boring parent" to actually tell their children to shut up. It's not about the smacking and has never been about the smacking because people are perfectly capable of raising kids without laying hands on them. It's about the nation-wide fear of being the boring parent by telling their kids to behave. They mention the decision making as a great reason too, but that's only partly true. To let your kids decide things from time to time can be good because it teaches them to value pros and cons, but to let them overrule their parents' decisions... That's when it starts to become bad.

Swedish kids nowadays are to a great extent pompous little brats. A big reason for this is because there's been an increase in the number of kids giving birth (15-17 yo), and they do not know how to raise their kids. The kids become bounced back and forth between its grandparents and everyone feels so sorry for that little kid that they can't bring themselves to correcting it when it does something wrong.

[Xor 684]

Not sure that is a Sweden only issue. Tons of children that run their parents in the USA as well.

[Maiya 490]

That debate went from "don't hit children" to "don't teach your children to behave" long ago. Parents are too afraid to be the "boring parent" to actually tell their children to shut up. It's not about the smacking and has never been about the smacking because people are perfectly capable of raising kids without laying hands on them. It's about the nation-wide fear of being the boring parent by telling their kids to behave. They mention the decision making as a great reason too, but that's only partly true. To let your kids decide things from time to time can be good because it teaches them to value pros and cons, but to let them overrule their parents' decisions... That's when it starts to become bad.

Swedish kids nowadays are to a great extent pompous little brats. A big reason for this is because there's been an increase in the number of kids giving birth (15-17 yo), and they do not know how to raise their kids. The kids become bounced back and forth between its grandparents and everyone feels so sorry for that little kid that they can't bring themselves to correcting it when it does something wrong.

 

 

she got it all right here

kids have problem raising kids

[Glasse 142]

That debate went from "don't hit children" to "don't teach your children to behave" long ago. Parents are too afraid to be the "boring parent" to actually tell their children to shut up. It's not about the smacking and has never been about the smacking because people are perfectly capable of raising kids without laying hands on them. It's about the nation-wide fear of being the boring parent by telling their kids to behave. They mention the decision making as a great reason too, but that's only partly true. To let your kids decide things from time to time can be good because it teaches them to value pros and cons, but to let them overrule their parents' decisions... That's when it starts to become bad.

Swedish kids nowadays are to a great extent pompous little brats. A big reason for this is because there's been an increase in the number of kids giving birth (15-17 yo), and they do not know how to raise their kids. The kids become bounced back and forth between its grandparents and everyone feels so sorry for that little kid that they can't bring themselves to correcting it when it does something wrong.

 

Aeris, are you dumb or something? I can tell you this im not a "brat", My mom was 18 when she gave birth to me, i have been living at my grand parents since i were thirteen years old. And i can tell you this that i havent become a brat for that. So is this your dumb bealives ?

[Rathgar 959]

Aeris, are you dumb or something? I can tell you this im not a "brat", My mom was 18 when she gave birth to me, i have been living at my grand parents since i were thirteen years old. And i can tell you this that i havent become a brat for that. So is this your dumb bealives ?

 

Be respectful and stop acting like a brat, you brat.

[50Cent123 60]

People have been saying for centuries that kids these days don't behave as they should. Being too loud, impolite, not respecing seniority... It's one of those clicés that live on through time. Doesn't mean anything.

[Aeris 3,751]

Aeris, are you dumb or something? I can tell you this im not a "brat", My mom was 18 when she gave birth to me, i have been living at my grand parents since i were thirteen years old. And i can tell you this that i havent become a brat for that. So is this your dumb bealives ?

I didn't call you a brat either, take a step back and breathe. There is no reason for you to take it to a personal level, I am stating facts based on daily experience and as far as I know I have never met you in real life. "To a great extent" does not mean ALL, and I believe you owe me an apology for being rude and offensive.

There IS a nation-wide fear of telling children to behave. I know a woman working at a daycare center where their specific instructions are to "not reprimand the children". I'm not kidding, she is not allowed to reprimand the children for biting, clawing, smacking and yelling. The fear of the parents where they are so afraid their children will take offense has been allowed to become a part of the system. If she reprimands the children their parents will contact her in order to yell at her for "being mean" to their children.

Edited October 28, 2013 by Aeris

[silakka 2,360]

Blaming children psh...

It's all bad parenting.

[Glasse 142]

Sorry i dont ask for an apology, im beeeing suuuuuch a brat...

[Sharkin 1,319]

I don't agree. But that's probably because that description doesn't fit me.

 

Proud to be viking!

Edited October 28, 2013 by Sharkin

[Joanavon 553]

In  a world and time where hundreds of millions of parents struggle and often times fail to keep their children from dying of hunger, disease, war and drugs. Where tens of thousands of children die daily from utterly preventable and outrageous causes. Swedish children being bossy brats is stupid, imaginary, and even if real irrelevant and correctable at any time.  

[Joanavon 553]

Sorry i dont ask for an apology, im beeeing suuuuuch a brat...

 

Your confused, you don't ask for or get an apology for being a brat. You give or offer one to your parents for being a brat after you got back up off the floor. 

[Suntzu 644]

Im Norwegian, we don't have these problems.

[Herrfritz 181]

Aeris, are you dumb or something? I can tell you this im not a "brat", My mom was 18 when she gave birth to me, i have been living at my grand parents since i were thirteen years old. And i can tell you this that i havent become a brat for that. So is this your dumb bealives ?

haha, i chuckled and thought: q.e.d.

[Wulfgar 1,118]

Im Norwegian, we don't have these problems.

 

You are not a fjellape, but apparently you have issues with the truth. Are you a compulsive or pathological liar?

 

On the topic at hand:

I think this is a world wide problem (outside totalitarian countries like Russia, China, Saudi Arabia, Iran etc.).

Too many parents have children not because they want to, but because they bow to the group pressure of society that tells us that it is normal to have children, it is our duty to have children, and you are a poor selfish excuse of a human being if you don't do your duty and have kids. It is your responsibility as a human to raise a family blahblahblah etc.

This combined with the fact that modern life requires both parents to have a full time job, is the main issue.

[Suntzu 644]

You are not a fjellape, but apparently you have issues with the truth. Are you a compulsive or pathological liar?

 

On the topic at hand:

I think this is a world wide problem (outside totalitarian countries like Russia, China, Saudi Arabia, Iran etc.).

Too many parents have children not because they want to, but because they bow to the group pressure of society that tells us that it is normal to have children, it is our duty to have children, and you are a poor selfish excuse of a human being if you don't do your duty and have kids. It is your responsibility as a human to raise a family blahblahblah etc.

This combined with the fact that modern life requires both parents to have a full time job, is the main issue.

 

You don't know anything about me Mr. Know-it-all. You want to see my families emigration papers? LOL

Lay off. Im not Obama and yer not Donald Trump pal.

I don't know anything about you nor would I make an ass out of myself and pretend to so I'll ask, are you one of those kids mentioned in the article?

 

=]

[Farmerbob 369]

wondering what the kids think, Discuss

 

http://news.yahoo.com/fears-brat-ocracy-child-centred-sweden-032211025.html

 

I've always distrusted the whole idea of raising kids without physical punishment.  Humans are animals too, and we respond to pain and pleasure very well when young, between toddler age and puberty.

 

At the same time, moderation is key.  You can induce pain without any lasting harm.  If you engage in punishment that actually causes harm, you've gone over the edge.  And you need to use praise and pleasure too.  Desserts and sugary snacks should be rewards, not expected every day.

 

Some of you might be thinking a bit less of me right now, which is fine, but I'll finish saying my piece here, with a little example, followed by what I learned from it.

 

One day when I was eight or nine years old I went into a drugstore with my parents.  Don't remember what we went in there for, but on the way out I asked if I could have some of my allowance money for a candy bar.  I was told no, so I stole a Snickers bar.  When we got out to the car, I, being a clever child, decided to unwrap my Snickers bar and eat it as soon as I sat in my seat and buckled my belt.  My father heard the candy wrapper, and asked me a question.  "Where did you get the candy bar."  He knew exactly where I got it from, but there was a very small chance that maybe my mother had given it to me so he gave the whole family a chance to speak up before he pulled me out of the car, pulled off his belt and whipped my ass in the parking lot.  ((I was wearing long pants, and even though it was painful, he was always very careful whenever he used physical punishment on us))  Then he picked up the half eaten Snicker's bar from the pavement and frog marched me back into the store where he paid for it and then made me give the store manager the candy bar back, and apologize for stealing from his store.

 

I have not stolen anything since.  Even thinking about stealing something 35+ years later is extremely uncomfortable.

 

Thing is that you might think my parents used physical punishment a lot.  No, they didn't.  I got the wooden spoon or an open palm on my ass pretty regularly when I was 5-8 or so years old, when I didn't listen, but the belt was only for when we truly ###### up.  Like when I stole that candy bar, or when I lied about a vandalism crime (I didn't do it, but I lied about who did).  The reason why the belt was a rare occurrence is because I learned, when I was young, that disobeying the parents meant pain.  Obeying the parents meant dessert after dinner.  A cookie or an ice cream bar.  I was never physically punished for grades, or for being a prankster, or even for breaking things, provided that I didn't break them on my little brothers. 

 

I see all these terrible screaming children in grocery stores, in malls, in restaurants, even in movies, and I cannot even imagine it in any way being allowed in my family.  We were allowed to whine a bit, mope, even drag our heals and cry.  But when the siren started up and we tried to be loud and obnoxious, we got one warning, followed by a slap on the ass about three seconds after the warning if the volume wasn't way down and stopping.  None of my parents three boys would DARE scream or yell in a public place by the time we were in grade school.  It simply was not going to happen.  Period.

 

Some kids turn out all right with non-physical punishment.  One of my cousins is and has always been well behaved after she started to talk.  Most of the others not so much.  But there's a whole lot of spoiled brats out there that could have really used a few slaps on the ass when they were young and much more impressionable.

 

It's one reason why I decided that kids were probably not going to happen for me, even if I found the right lady.  I'd probably end up in jail if I did to my kids what my father did to me in that drug store parking lot, if the right person got a phone video of it - even if it was provable that the kid was fine.  I do not trust myself to have sweet kids with pleasant demeanors who will listen to me.  If my kids are anything like me, I'll have to use physical punishment to keep them in line.

[Aeris 3,751]

You are not a fjellape, but apparently you have issues with the truth. Are you a compulsive or pathological liar?

I assumed it was a friendly joke since Norway generally has better living standards than Sweden and Swedes have to migrate to Norway constantly in order to get a job.

[Suntzu 644]

 Nah. he's just bein hisself. lol

[50Cent123 60]

I've always distrusted the whole idea of raising kids without physical punishment.  Humans are animals too, and we respond to pain and pleasure very well when young, between toddler age and puberty.

 

At the same time, moderation is key.  You can induce pain without any lasting harm.  If you engage in punishment that actually causes harm, you've gone over the edge.  And you need to use praise and pleasure too.  Desserts and sugary snacks should be rewards, not expected every day.

 

Some of you might be thinking a bit less of me right now, which is fine, but I'll finish saying my piece here, with a little example, followed by what I learned from it.

 

One day when I was eight or nine years old I went into a drugstore with my parents.  Don't remember what we went in there for, but on the way out I asked if I could have some of my allowance money for a candy bar.  I was told no, so I stole a Snickers bar.  When we got out to the car, I, being a clever child, decided to unwrap my Snickers bar and eat it as soon as I sat in my seat and buckled my belt.  My father heard the candy wrapper, and asked me a question.  "Where did you get the candy bar."  He knew exactly where I got it from, but there was a very small chance that maybe my mother had given it to me so he gave the whole family a chance to speak up before he pulled me out of the car, pulled off his belt and whipped my ass in the parking lot.  ((I was wearing long pants, and even though it was painful, he was always very careful whenever he used physical punishment on us))  Then he picked up the half eaten Snicker's bar from the pavement and frog marched me back into the store where he paid for it and then made me give the store manager the candy bar back, and apologize for stealing from his store.

 

I have not stolen anything since.  Even thinking about stealing something 35+ years later is extremely uncomfortable.

 

Thing is that you might think my parents used physical punishment a lot.  No, they didn't.  I got the wooden spoon or an open palm on my ass pretty regularly when I was 5-8 or so years old, when I didn't listen, but the belt was only for when we truly ###### up.  Like when I stole that candy bar, or when I lied about a vandalism crime (I didn't do it, but I lied about who did).  The reason why the belt was a rare occurrence is because I learned, when I was young, that disobeying the parents meant pain.  Obeying the parents meant dessert after dinner.  A cookie or an ice cream bar.  I was never physically punished for grades, or for being a prankster, or even for breaking things, provided that I didn't break them on my little brothers. 

 

I see all these terrible screaming children in grocery stores, in malls, in restaurants, even in movies, and I cannot even imagine it in any way being allowed in my family.  We were allowed to whine a bit, mope, even drag our heals and cry.  But when the siren started up and we tried to be loud and obnoxious, we got one warning, followed by a slap on the ass about three seconds after the warning if the volume wasn't way down and stopping.  None of my parents three boys would DARE scream or yell in a public place by the time we were in grade school.  It simply was not going to happen.  Period.

 

Some kids turn out all right with non-physical punishment.  One of my cousins is and has always been well behaved after she started to talk.  Most of the others not so much.  But there's a whole lot of spoiled brats out there that could have really used a few slaps on the ass when they were young and much more impressionable.

 

It's one reason why I decided that kids were probably not going to happen for me, even if I found the right lady.  I'd probably end up in jail if I did to my kids what my father did to me in that drug store parking lot, if the right person got a phone video of it - even if it was provable that the kid was fine.  I do not trust myself to have sweet kids with pleasant demeanors who will listen to me.  If my kids are anything like me, I'll have to use physical punishment to keep them in line.

 

lol every time one of these topic comes op, a few of these violent wife beaters are lured out of the closet.

[Aetherwalker 1,863]

Physical punishment doesn't work anyways, my mother broke dozens of wooden spoons on my hands and my legs and it did absolutely the opposite; I vehemently increased my resistance to her proportional to how angry she got, trying to make her understand that she was taking a poor approach.

John Marston: It's easy to make up rules, but they ain't much use if the people don't understand why. Like my son. If I tell him not do somethin', he'll do it anyways, just to spite me. If I punish him, he resents me for it. But if I show him why it's wrong, at least he has a reason not to do it again.

[Farmerbob 369]

lol every time one of these topic comes op, a few of these violent wife beaters are lured out of the closet.

 

Physical punishment doesn't work anyways, my mother broke dozens of wooden spoons on my hands and my legs and it did absolutely the opposite; I vehemently increased my resistance to her proportional to how angry she got, trying to make her understand that she was taking a poor approach.

John Marston: It's easy to make up rules, but they ain't much use if the people don't understand why. Like my son. If I tell him not do somethin', he'll do it anyways, just to spite me. If I punish him, he resents me for it. But if I show him why it's wrong, at least he has a reason not to do it again.

 

 

Oh there are some folks who don't learn from pain, granted, but they are in the vast minority.  And if you had things broken on you, then you were either too old, or being hit too hard.  Even the thought of hitting a kid's hands or legs hard enough to break a wooden spoon is kind of scary.  Just hit them on the ass.  And if they are too big to hit them on the ass, then you're too late to use that punishment on them.

 

Marston is right.  Kids will spite you, and kids will resent you - that's part of how they develop into individuals.  Nothing stops you from explaining to your kid why they got physical punishment.

Edited October 28, 2013 by Farmerbob

[Aeris 3,751]

Tbh it's not that interesting to hear what the kids think. I bet you're all more interested in knowing what the fox has to say about it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jofNR_WkoCE