The Wunion - Wurms Finest News Source

[Chiqa 742]

I have a plan  on how to trap the elusive gumbo yet again.

This plan involves peanut butter and feathers. That is all I will say. 

[Valdor 1,426]

I have a plan  on how to trap the elusive gumbo yet again.

This plan involves peanut butter and feathers. That is all I will say. 

 

Oh, god. I am in too!

[Gumbo 1,563]

Sharknado

ALERT! ALERT!
Wurmians! Listen up!
This will be your one and only official public warning on this matter. We've been invaded by an enemy so fierce, so heartless, so cold blooded, that not many are expected to survive. It's being called a "Sharknado". For days now many Wurm scientists, such as Maximusthegreat, have been warning us of the growing population and dangers of sharks. Sadly, we the public ridiculed their findings and have made light of the situation *cough*. Well today it's the scientist who are laughing at us, albeit with sharks tearing their limbs off... but none-the-less... still laughing. For weeks the enemy has been amassing with hardly any checks or balances. Northern Celebration has become a cesspool full of the deadly sharks and is believed to be the main spawning ground for beasties. Their primary method of travel is by tornado. If you happen to spot any tornadoes where you live, we urge you to run for your life in a hysteric panic. Don't be concerned for your loved ones, they've likely already been shredded to bits by sharks. I've been on the front lines tracking Sharknadoes all day, and must say the carnage is horrific. This reporter has already soiled three pairs of pants. The only bright point is that I know a great cloth tailor willing to fix them up cheap, thanks Frankd, sorry about the mess. Currently with me tracking a Sharknado on Crystal Lake, Independence is ace cub graphic artist Rosedragon. Below you will find her depiction of the horror that awaits us all. Good luck people, may your God have mercy on your soul. 

 

 

[Sklo:D 2,210]

The movie is so bad.

 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2724064/

[Gumbo 1,563]

The movie is so bad.

 

[Odynn 2,248]

Our best Wurm alchemists have worked really hard to create a sharknado effect :

 

Result in spoiler :

 

you can see the damage done by the tremendous strength of the sharknado in the background - only one word : run for your life.

 

This screen is dedicated to the lives of the 15 alchemist ripped to tiny bits - RIP guys.

[Valdor 1,426]

But... I have seen those cuddly, soft, plush teddy sharks in the toy store for children. They looked so friendly! What's going on here?

[Ripsipiirakka 104]

That sharknado is accurate reimagination of my trip on the northern coast of independence. So many sharks!

[Issle 793]

Gumbo enterprises in court.

 

Issle, the well known, polite, humble but fearsome chaos fighter is filling a lawsuit against Gumbo enterprises, According to confidential but valid sources, Issle, who recently participated in the Green Dragon slaying in Chaos, is suing Gumbo Enterprises acusing them of selling him a faulty LT longsword. Gumbo Enterprises is a major exporter of fighting gear both in pve and pvp servers known for their top quality products but also for their high prices. Moments after killing the Green Dragon issle wrote in his facebook page:

 

"Fought the Green Dragon for 4 hours, didn't land a single shot, got Dragonslayer title". 

 

From the local autopsy, it was made clear that the only blacklighter that did not manage to land a single shot on the dragon, was Issle, a fact that according to field experts has to do with his longsword malfunctioning. We contacted Issle who in rage and uncontrolable state of emotions told us that his lawyers will demand a billion of silver and Port Onody for the damage Issle's public image suffered from the faulty longsword. As his manager made clear, Issle's doing a great effort to fix his public image. Issle recently got back to zero warning points after being penalized by the Wurm Head Police Dictator Officer Shrimpiee for driving a Wagon while under the influence of wemp and running it over a peaceful and law abiding wurm citizen, Mpchris. Finally the lawyers proposed to place Gumbo Enterprises under investigation for monopoly rules violation and fraud.

 

On other news, Yurik the previous Emperor of the Blacklighters abstained from the killing of the Green Dragon because an unknown blacklighter spit a chewing gum right on his Dragon Scale Armor left boot. Until this person comes forward, Yurik will not participate in public Blacklighter events.

Edited June 2, 2014 by Issle

[Gumbo 1,563]

I stand by my products and my Wurm lawyers intend to prove that the wielder of the weapon was again high on wemp at the time of the incident.

 

[Broken 29]

Gumbo enterprises launches Idependant metal alloy investigation on Issle's sword

 

Gumbo enterprises faced with a pending lawsuit ordered an official independant metal alloy investigation to be done on the sword. Broken jumped to the occasion as it was right in his expert field of broken things. Broken quickly found that the sword was tempered with lead found on MR lands on Chaos. Particles of the black light were also seen in the sample optained from the sword's surface.

 

Broken's affidavid concludes that the sword was modified with bad intentions from an intruder from the kingdom of MR. In his report Broken further states that a guard tower on duty close by the black light must have committed the act. Broken also suggest to prevent such things from happening in the future something must be done by the black light and to conquor or destroy the towers of MR that are surrounding the black light. It's the only way, in his opinion, to prevent such mishevious behavior from happening again in the future.

 

Issle and Gumbo are yet to be reached for comments on the report that was just released.

Edited June 2, 2014 by Broken

[Revelation 288]

MR has no idea what you are talking about and finds these allegations slanderous and misinformative at best.

These so called " MR Intruders" are merely a pro-MR militia that have formed independently in BL lands and have nothing to do with the Empire of Mol-Rehan as they do not wear MR tabards.

In respose to your slander and libel, annexation of the southern peninsulas will commence post haste.

[Gumbo 1,563]

A snowman army was spotted massing atop a mountain... Summer invasion expected

[Radni 1,089]

A snowman army was spotted massing atop a mountain... Summer invasion expected

Winter Is Coming.

[zalifear 186]

                                                              Tip toeing thru the Tulips


When asked today if rumors were true I could only give a slight suggestion to what was the real truth. Vynora the goddess of Knowledge and creation was seen on a mountain top with Magranon after leaving the tulip forest from Fo's domain. It was obvious when she left and was not hard to spot over the tree tops, as she made her climb upward. The meeting is evident but, the purpose is still unclear.  The 2 were seen making crabs spawn on near by tiles and a giant crater remains on the mountain top after they had just vanished in mid-air. I had a chance to catch up with Magranon later that day and speak with him about meeting with the fishy goddess and the only reply I got was "Rock Hard" This leads me to believe that, I should attempt to talk to Fo and uncover the truth of what was happening. Vynora had no comment and was seen 3 days ago out at sea puking sharks, herding crabs and riding a sea serpent. 
 

[Docterchese 1,570]

Your Magranon puppet: 'I need your advice, Fo!'

Your Fo puppet: 'Go ahead.'

Your Magranon puppet: 'I am in love with Vynora!'

 

The prophecies are true!!

Edited August 30, 2014 by Docterchese

[Gumbo 1,563]

Jackal Hoffa Missing

A spokes-spirit for the Wurm Postal Service (WPS) announced last night that their longtime Union leader, the beloved Jackal Hoffa, has gone missing. He was last seen a week ago on Xanadu leaving a pub at the South Central Market after having lunch and drinks with friends. Witnesses say Hoffa boarded his Knarr, "The Firewater", sometime in the late afternoon, then cast off alone. Neither Hoffa nor his ship have been seen since, foul play is suspected. If you or someone you know has any information on the where abouts of Mr. Hoffa, please let us know.

During his time as the head of the WPS Union, Hoffa has implemented many changes. Most recently his decision to no longer accept and deliver unfinished items was hailed a great decision by the delivery Spirits. No more will they have to deal with messy parcels falling apart and making their job more difficult. Similarly, years ago Hoffa was responsible for permanently stopping the shipment of dangerous weapons such as Longswords, Two Handed Swords, and Huge Axes. Many a Spirit were injured on the job while trying to stuff one of those things into a mailbox. Since its implementation, WPS work injuries have dropped significantly.

One delivery Spirit, who wishes to remain anonymous, told the Wunion he believes the disappearance has something to do with another up and coming WPS change Hoffa was working on. It's rumoured the almost bankrupt WPS will be increasing their mailing fee ten fold in the near future. This would mean the new mailing fees would become 1 or 2 silver per item, depending on how far you wish to send something. If the rate increase is ever implemented, it may finally give private delivery companies a chance to compete with the WPS.

 

[zalifear 186]

Early morning post> 


Last night rumors had it there was a ritual preformed at The Shrine of Magranon. Several Eye witness seen strange smoke and fire lit. Sillaka the local CA patrol wondered pass and said the paper work would be to much to investigate. Also was a Nafnir who was seen leaving from a side entrance and only could say it was like a dream and he had felt empowered by something not of this world. The lights cooled down and the music stopped later and I was able to capture this screen shot before being ran off by what appeared to be a champion skeleton. I couldn't quite see what was in the back-round but I did manage to escape with my life. I had enough for one night now nearly morning and turn to the local pub for a drip of gumbooz. Just my luck the bar was closed and a rather odd sign was placed on the door and read "to infinity and beyond!" Magranon only knows what that crazy old bar tender could be up to and perhaps it has something to do with the smoke last night. Anyhow, this is who done it and where by yours truly.


 

Edited September 14, 2014 by zalifear

[rosedragon 2,282]

Jackal Hoffa Missing

A spokes-spirit for the Wurm Postal Service (WPS) announced last night that their longtime Union leader, the beloved Jackal Hoffa, has gone missing. He was last seen a week ago on Xanadu leaving a pub at the South Central Market after having lunch and drinks with friends. Witnesses say Hoffa boarded his Knarr, "The Firewater", sometime in the late afternoon, then cast off alone. Neither Hoffa nor his ship have been seen since, foul play is suspected. If you or someone you know has any information on the where abouts of Mr. Hoffa, please let us know.

During his time as the head of the WPS Union, Hoffa has implemented many changes. Most recently his decision to no longer accept and deliver unfinished items was hailed a great decision by the delivery Spirits. No more will they have to deal with messy parcels falling apart and making their job more difficult. Similarly, years ago Hoffa was responsible for permanently stopping the shipment of dangerous weapons such as Longswords, Two Handed Swords, and Huge Axes. Many a Spirit were injured on the job while trying to stuff one of those things into a mailbox. Since its implementation, WPS work injuries have dropped significantly.

One delivery Spirit, who wishes to remain anonymous, told the Wunion he believes the disappearance has something to do with another up and coming WPS change Hoffa was working on. It's rumoured the almost bankrupt WPS will be increasing their mailing fee ten fold in the near future. This would mean the new mailing fees would become 1 or 2 silver per item, depending on how far you wish to send something. If the rate increase is ever implemented, it may finally give private delivery companies a chance to compete with the WPS.

Time to sharpen my sickle and start killing those spirits.

[Gumbo 1,563]

Happy Birthday to the Wunion !!

Today, September 16th, marks the two year anniversary of the first Wunion article ever published. Since then... the stories have only gotten cheesier *coughs*.  So far it's been a great run and I hope you've all enjoyed reading the posts.  A big thank you to everyone who has contributed articles or participated any way you can, it's very much appreciated. So to kick off this new year of the Wunion, for this week only... Wunion subscription fees will be half price !

[Gumbo 1,563]

The Gumbo Book of Wurm Records

On this day of celebration, it only seems fitting to introduce a new feature to the Wunion. I present to you, "The Gumbo Book of Wurm Records", the ultimate authority in Wurm record breaking achievements. Since the begining of this morning, I have not scoured the four corners of every island to bring you some of the more amazing feats accomplished by common, everyday folks. Below you'll find an introductory list of the least boring events I was forced to witness while blindfolded and with a carving knife sticking in my back.

 

- Biggest puppet collection owned by a man - Duce
- Largest garlic ever grown and then eaten in a single sitting is 18 kgs by Blahsonson
- Most Dragon eggs juggled over a lit oven without dropping any into a frying pan is 5 by Zalifear
- Whole barrel of Fosters wine chugged down in the fastest time is 47 seconds by Emoo
- Number of whole pies eaten in 1 minute without any untensils is 3 by Zivirt
- Most Bison successfully mated in a single night after a few drinks - 7 by Darwin

If you feel you have a legitimate addition to the Gumbo Book of Wurm Records that needs to be announced, then this is the place to do it.
Good luck everyone !

Edited September 11, 2016 by Gumbo

[zalifear 186]

Foe or friend in the end it's all the same, we play this game, for fun and laughs, making pictures and memories that will last and trying not to fast!

 

Building, tinkering, thinking, extending and lending a hand to neighbors as we fill in the land. From desert to mountain, scattered karma in springs and fountains. 

 

On this joyous occasion we celebrate the true spirit of the game. Creativity for the player. Rights to express and retain original ideas and names. Respecting all in the same monument of our community. 

 

I was privileged enough to grace the front page of this idea and integrity of the Wunion and what kind of outlet it gives. We as players think of fame and fortune or peace of mind, farming and tilling, as keepers we are. The basic level from which we all came. Some say a dirty hand is a honest hand. Perhaps we all have dirty hands from time to time. 

 

As we raise the bar for the next Wurm generations, take this time now to respect the originals, the countless names that have given to contribute to our community. Carrying on legacy, tradition and preserving the great things everyone has made over the years. 

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WUNION!

 

And to many more years of fantastic posts!

 

[rosedragon 2,282]

The Gumbo Book of Wurm Records â„¢

On this day of celebration, it only seems fitting to introduce a new feature to the Wunion. I present to you, "The Gumbo Book of Wurm Records", the ultimate authority in Wurm record breaking achievements. Since the begining of this morning, I have not scoured the four corners of every island to bring you some of the more amazing feats accomplished by common, everyday folks. Below you'll find an introductory list of the least boring events I was forced to witness while blindfolded and with a carving knife sticking in my back.

 

- Biggest puppet collection owned by a man - Duce

- Largest garlic ever grown and then eaten in a single sitting is 18 kgs by Blahsonson

- Most Dragon eggs juggled over a lit oven without dropping any into a frying pan is 5 by Zalifear

- Whole barrel of Fosters wine chugged down in the fastest time is 47 seconds by Emoo

- Number of whole pies eaten in 1 minute without any untensils is 3 by Zivirt

- Most Bison successfully mated in a single night after a few drinks - 7 by Darwin

If you feel you have a legitimate addition to the Gumbo Book of Wurm Records that needs to be announced, then this is the place to do it.

Good luck everyone !

I feel offended that I am not mentioned and for that I will make sure to drop corpses on your lovely resident whenever I come hunting in Independence! <3

[Gumbo 1,563]

I feel offended that I am not mentioned and for that I will make sure to drop corpses on your lovely resident whenever I come hunting in Independence! <3

 

 

I have to apologize for not having your entry ready in time when the presses began to roll. The inspector was at your deed, but not able to complete his count in time due to the quantity. We're still not sure if this record is final yet.

 

*Most missing hitchhiker corpses found hidden, buried or stuffed in the ice box, on one persons deed - 38 by Rosedragon

[Gumbo 1,563]

A Word from our Editor-in-Chief

Good evening ladies and gentlemen.

I'm here to discuss the issue announced earlier, of a new competing media agency that has opened in Wurm.   *pause for applause*

They call themselves the "Wurm World News" and they offer their stories in some sort of weird graphic format called "vid-ee-oh". I bravely decided to watch the videeoh with others and then evaluate what we saw.

 

http://forum.wurmonline.com/index.php?/topic/111759-wurm-world-news-emergent-stories-ep1/

At first you witness a lot of very pretty moving pictures obviously created using some sort of evil sorcery spell we are not familiar with. Videeoh likely comes from ancient knowledge passed down from those evil worshipers of the dead, the Libila. They are likely using this as a means of converting all watchers into some sort of undead zombie. Alchemists with us have determined watching too much videeoh would likely be harmful to peoples health. Observations of animals forced to watch, saw them herding into the north-east corner of their pens trying to get as far away from the videeoh as possible. Preliminary tests done on chickens who watched, revealed they either gave up laying eggs, or the ones they did lay, very rarely hatched a chick. As well, pregnant horses subjected to videeoh gave birth to significantly far more foals with illness, malformed legs, and on the whole seemed feeble and unhealthy. Overall, we have determined that exposure to videeoh will cause long term health problems to Wurmians and should be avoided at all costs.

We at the Wunion, would like to inform you that we'll continue to publish the legitimate, quality stories you want... like assassinations, disasters, and major cart crashes.
Thank you.

Gumbo
Editor-in-Chief of the Wunion

Edited October 10, 2014 by Gumbo