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Gumbo

The Wunion - Wurms Finest News Source

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Why can't people just leave these poor wemp growers alone? Wemp was gift from Rolf, for the good of all Wurmians!

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Yes Wemp use is bad on Pristine the report of 1k wemp for 1 silver is innacurate though wemp demand has been driven up so much on Pristine it is actually close to 5 times that there.

With demand so high and supply so short it was only a matter of time before things got ugly. ;)

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Absolutely am in love with your news reports. Only wish there were more of them!

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That photo can´t be from pristine, there is something fishy in that news report hm...

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That photo can´t be from pristine, there is something fishy in that news report hm...

Good eye!

I didn't notice the drake armor before. :D

[ No drake on Pristine ]

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Counterfeit Ring Busted

After a month long investigation into the growing counterfeit problem, dozens of arrests were made on Pristine today. In the early hours of the morning, special forces raided a deed located in the far north end of map. On the deed they found several factory sweatshops manned by cheaply paid goblins that were manufacturing Knock-off goods in mass quantities. The list of phoney products include such things as jewelry, weapons, and armour, as well as a few other goods. It seems the bracelets and necklaces were actually made from iron and painted with a gold coloured dye. These trinkets can easily be detected after a week or so when they start to turn your skin a greenish colour. There was also a factory dedicated to making cheap weapons, longswords seemed to be the biggest one produced. Many complaints were made after people went into battle with one of the LS copies and it immediately broke after as little as a single blow to the enemy. The big ticket item made by the goblins are sets of Drake armour, despite there not being any real Drake armour yet to be produced on Pristine. Normally retailing for 70+ silvers in most markets around the world, these copies are selling for about 25 silver "on the street". Although they look almost identical to a real Drake set, these fake armour sets give absolutely no defense to the wearer. The faux armour can be distinguished from a real set by examining the signature tag. Phoney sets are labeled as "Droke", instead of "Drake". If you think you've been swindled by a retailer selling any of these goods, we urge you to contact your local authourity to report it.

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I'll have you know our Droke armor is of the highest quality. We cannot be held responsible for people who misread our product's description.

Niclamus

Droke Manufacturing Inc.

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Other game's have vanity items versions of normal items (Vanity items are for looks only), even Wurm has a few Vanity items now (Christmas soft cap being the newest one).

So +1 to Droke armor , Send me a set and let the rat killing look leet.

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If that mafia operates in cele aswell i will buy a Droke armour without a blink, i know that offer no protection, but i can brag my ¨Drake¨ in front of the ladys! Pure pwnage!

Edited by KunAlt

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Disaster!

Last week an enormous explosion occurred somewhere around the South-West region of Celebration. Hours after the blast, aftershocks could still be felt for some miles away, frightening most of the citizens who thought Wurmagedden had arrived. Even now smoke is billowing into the sky from a landmass in the area affectionately known as "The Dark Island". Buildings there seem to have been completely obliterated, yet the wildlife remains unharmed. The cause of the explosion is being investigated by authourities... however, the Wunion has gotten to the bottom of the story. It just so happens the luxury caravel "Carlotta" was cruising by the island at the moment the explosion began. Passengers on deck said they witnessed two people there who appeared to be arguing about something. One of which, Fatboy, who's tremendous eating exploits are known world wide, was visiting the island. The other person was renowned cheese alchemist, Docterchese, whose experiments border on the insane. Moments after the two parted ways, the massive eruption occurred. Debris from the blast splattered the ship as it passed. We visited the port where the caravel was docked and got a sample of the "gunk" so we could have it analyzed by a specialist. The report, bizarre as it seems, claims it's mostly a combination of woad, cheese, coal, and belladonna, with a few other unknown ingredients blended in. This asks the question... Has Docterchese come up with a secret recipe for a new explosive blue cheese? What other crazy experiments are happening on this island? And finally, how does this product taste on a cracker?

Edited by Gumbo
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Wurm Online Officially Enters a New Age

The invention of paper and changes to alchemy has created new changes to the environment that haven't been seen before. Scientists, alchemists and priests from the area of Bearshark Bay have recently been gathering at Bearshark Census Outpost on Independence which was formally known as Byzantium to officially start gathering info on the possible causes of the missing once vast numbers of bearsharks in Bearshark Bay.

Studies are now being secretly conducted in the area using nature substances, magic and counting bearsharks using paper to keep track of it's numbers over time. Is this now, a new skill, coming into the world known as science? Has this been a reason why big game fish started migrating as well? What is the true reasons for the lack of Bearsharks?

The pondering continues...

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Which came first, the Female Pheasant or the Egg?

Wurm's Wildlife Federation (WWF) has announced startling news today regarding the appearance of the first Female Pheasants.

Our Wunion reporter Nib arrived at the press conference to bring you the story.

Although she was almost refused entry when arriving in a Bear drawn Chariot, something to do with Cruelty towards animals. No doubt as a result of the confusion arising from the appearance of her Bears, who happened to have wandered through Zupermans Coal fields on route, and then tried to rub the Charcoal soot from their eyes with their dirty black paws. Nib’s rare Albino bears, and sooty eyes, apparently caused offence with the WWF's artist and Press-office who claimed she was breaching their copyright.

Nibs report

"A shocking tale has emerged of very large numbers of maimed Pheasants being discovered around the Grande steppe’s of Indi, along with other key hunting sites across Wurms islands.

WWF volunteers have been inundated with cases of wounded Pheasants, each bearing a simple bandage around the nether regions...Analysis by Doctor Zerobyte has proved that each of the afflicted animals had its "Glands" crudely removed, probably with rusty low quality scissors.

Headhunter has denied that his insatiable demand for Animal parts has lead to this atrocity occurring.

The WWF's current working theory is that an Emasculated young Pheasant was altered by the lack of male hormones when it reached adolescence as a result of this macabre butchery of live specimens, and started to produce Female Hormones which attracted the attention of any number of the frustrated male population. WWF surgeons have stated that it was simply a matter of time before offspring were produced, in high numbers across the many islands of Wurm.

Hunters are warned to look out for female Pheasants being pursued by up to a dozen or so males until a balance in population diversity is reached, their advice is not to approach the amorous males while they are chasing their mates, and that some male Pheasants have yet to learn to distinguish between the two sexes of the now viable species."

This adds a new twist on the age old pun....

Why did the male pheasant cross the trail?

To flee those who think it may be Cross-dressing

You are advised to keep your distance from groups of pheasant for the foreseeable future.

Edited by Neb
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Nature Balance Broken!

Scientists from Bearshark Census Outpost reports lack of bearsharks have created a massive population boom this week of all the other species around all the islands of Wurm. One scientist warns the worse is yet to come, he keeps saying valentines day will bring the doom to us all and we need to reduce this population outburst immediately. He has been seen lately foaming at the mouth and rambling in an unknown language sharpening weapons 24 hours a day. The villages of Crystal canal committee have been trying to push the scientist in question into the mine as to not scare people whom wish to cross the canal safely. Attempts to lure him down to the depths have yet to succeed. A number of rare items have been piled up into the mine and is worthy to become a dragon's bed. The citizens hope by doing so perhaps a dragon might kill the rambling scientist.

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lol =)

@Broken: sorry I abducted a pair of brown bears sometime ago from the area of bearshark bay. They.. have passed away and left a new healthy male bear that now is fed well on Orpington Bliss. When offered to live on where his parents were, this bear growls in refusal to be separated from the juicy unicorn meats he have been fed with.

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Pheasant 'Easter' Eggs

- Nob of Fo's account of his recent experimentation.

Upon wondering why the newly added pheasant females didn't lay eggs like other ornithological species within Wurm I began to wonder if some higher purpose had been created for these birds.

The auspicious Easter date of their introduction began me upon this path of thought.

So began my experiments....

I began by feeding my tamed and untamed specimens huge Quantities of Cheese, secretly borrowed from Eladia's huge stores, "is she really going to notice the odd 100 missing out of several thousands" i thought.

Some hours later i was rewarded in my exploits when a distressed Squark was heard.

I quickly ran to the pheasants, secured in my underground research cavern, to discover one of the beasts had died, much lamentations followed the loss of this precious specimen. To my shock and delight recovering the beast revealed its cause off death, an Easter Egg!!!

I couldn't resist so bit into it at once, to my delight it was filled with the rich taste of Creamy Cheese.

The mind boggled, and while meditating upon the events i wondered.... of to my alliances stores to fetch a quantity of Gems and a fresh batch of corn. After carefully pressing a gem into each corn husk i departed to let nature take its course...

Time passed, wine was consumed, I dazed off.

Only to be awoken many moons later by an almighty squark.....

My delight was short-lived when i realized that all of my remaining female's had all passed... ? were the Blue coloured shiney Ovoids they had left for me worth while ?

Forgetfully, and still in a wine haze, I bit into it the first egg expecting to be rewarded with the fine taste of cheese... I was hungry. The first bite was sumptuous, thanks in part to Eladia's skills, i took a second bite...

The pain spread slowly at first, then i realized my error as Tooth n Blood fell from my aching Jaw...

The Diamond at the eggs center had shattered many tooth and pierced my Jaw... if it were not for the Healing offered by my faith i believe i may have been unconscious for some days.

These Questions remain

Did the high creator Rolf fail to inform us of this wonderful bounty?

Are these Female Pheasants a short lived gift?

Will they vanish as soon as they arrived with the passing of the Season?

And crucially

What will people pay for these Tooth breaking Eggs of Delight?

(I have coated them in maple syrup and left them to harden, they shall be called "Jawbreaker candy" - patent pending)

p.s. You may now refer to me as "Nob the Toothless"

Edited by Neb
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The tale of the disappearing Village.

Rumours have reached Wunion today of a mysterious fog blanketing the northern coasts of the Island known as Independence.

So thick was this Dense mist that two of our reporters failed to discover what was afoot. One reportedly said to the other “I can’t see my hand let alone my feet, we must turn backâ€

Both reported that unlike the mists reported to surround the feared one we know as the Oracle that there was something stranger, a feint orange glow, and a sweat taste upon the choking air. The acrid nature of the Mist suggested that Oleander may be being burnt, neither would hazard to guess what had made it toxic to us normally immune wurmians.

Cloth was doused in water, to cover their faces, and eyes half-shut as our brave reporters venture further into the dense mist, they headed west towards the Fells above the peninsular where Samling once stood. One of the two claims he heard a voice upon the wind and suggested that a spell-cast was in process. The other denies this but admits that the sweet orange mists had made him drowsy and almost un-conscious.

Our reporters were beaten back, and made camp for the night, well south of the mists.

A sleepness night passes, more smells, mumbled yet bellowing distant voices, strange lights above the cliff tops, long shadows cast over where Samling once stood and towards Xanadu’s token.

Dreams? Hallucinations?

Neither is sure what was real.

The dawn, presumed for the bird song heard, brings fresh challenges. A bitter cold and snow on the ground, yet it is the warm seasons……no sunlight, but an eerie glow. Cloth is wrapped around feet and hands to ward of the chill, these unprepared reporters lack the trappings of our more experienced writers. They venture onwards back north, towards the old Samling peninsular, the rowboat is beached and the fellows head east, where a long shadow leads; something stands ahead of them, a pair of goblin one remarks, as he turns to warn his companion the unmistakable sound of released arrows is heard; to late! the companions don’t have time to equip their shields; they cower and await their fate…. All of a sudden the darkness lifts, realisation that an eclipse has passed; a burst of light;

The missiles do not contact or harm?, no foes to chase, and in their place?

a beached White shark not butchered but bloodied inside a deep crevasse in the middle of the path ahead, strange purple flowers upon the ground, potted; unlikely, improbable even?

The companions are safe. But bewildered.

The mists have cleared, the thin snow melts quickly.

The pair seek the safety of a town called Xanadu, where they have been told they might find shelter and refreshment;

Confusion!!!

“You enter Samlingâ€

(Both reporters later admitted meditation on matters of insanity, but ‘claimed’ they are both initiate's and not subject to the deeper troubles of its Hierophants – we at Wunion cant not be certain – Editor in chief Gumbo forced this caveats inclusion)

Neither reporter wishes to be named,

Edited by Neb

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The tale of the disappearing Village.

OMW the post disapeard too.

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If you have witnessed long shadows over your token, perhaps emanating from an eclipse we would like to know;

Wunion continues its investigations into "the lost village" (see artical above).

Edited by Neb

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im even confussed what the latest news about.. xD you mean xanadu is gone and samling is back? o.o

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im even confussed what the latest news about.. xD you mean xanadu is gone and samling is back? o.o

Yup, you got er

:)

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