The Wunion - Wurms Finest News Source

[Pashka 707]

I always knew she was a bit spacy.

[Pingpong 1,070]

I hope Ishy takes a flag to plant on the moon

[axeblade346 164]

But now the Big Q is. Will she be the first living thing on Jackal or will her horses be?

[Broken 29]

They'll become hell horses on this rite of passage. This ain't no simple BBQ!

[Gumbo 1,563]

Inner Sea Scrolls Found

Not long ago, a young shepherd was tending his cattle somewhere around the Port Akhenaten area of the Inner Sea, when a new born calf aimlessly wandered away from the herd. The baby bovine strayed into a nearby cave and became lost in the maze of ancient tunnels. The boy could hear the distressed animal and blindly followed it's calls into the subterrane, in an attempt to mount a rescue. As the lad went deeper and deeper into the cave, the groans from the calf became louder and louder. Making his way along by feeling the cavern walls, he took one step too many and ended up sliding down a rather large drop-shaft. The boy was uninjured except for a few scrapes. To his astonishment, strewn about the floor of the cave were dozens of large pottery jars... some were broken, most intact. The shepherd anxiously opened the one closest to him, reached inside and felt around. Hoping to have found some pirates hidden treasure, he was disappointed to only grasp sheet upon sheet of fragile papyrus. He gathered up a handful of the papyrus, then began a slow climb out of the pit he had fallen into. At the top of the shaft, he was re-united with the lost calf and the pair made their way out of the cave. In the light of day, he was able to look closer at what he had found and noticed each of the pages were inscribed with some language unknown to him. The young boy decided to take them back to his village to give to the Elders and see what they thought of his find.

Edited August 30, 2014 by Gumbo

[Pingpong 1,070]

Hmm what could they say? What secrets could they contain! Will we ever really know?

[Gumbo 1,563]

"EAT AT JOE'S DINER"

lol

Edited October 13, 2012 by Gumbo

[Broken 29]

Must be the lost writs scrolls of Crazybill!

[ishimitsukai 20]

i just realized u expect me to navigate to jackal o.O do u know anything about my navigation skills i bet i end up on sol

[Gumbo 1,563]

Paint Wars

Many moon ago in a land far, far away, a young Wurmian named Headhunter was born into the kingdom of J/K Home. Not just born, but miraculously spawned out of thin air. The Gods, unsure of what to do with this immaculate child, quietly influenced him to join the sacred village of Southport. This new home was far from the prying eyes of any on-lookers. The goal was to keep HH protected from evil, so as to let him grow his honourable talents in private. As with many a youngling in J/K (junior kindergarten), he enjoyed finger painting with much vigor. Time went on and HH grew older, he turned his finger painting into a knack for making coloured lanterns. These lanterns sold well and were the pride of his friends and villagers. Not much later, he discovered he could expand his skill and began painting sailboats. The boats were in high demand because of their unique and spectacular colours, not seen by many before. His path in life seemed set.

Then the tragic day came. HH spotted a knarr in Port Onody for the very first time. His eyes widened, his heart thumped, he was hypnotized by the new transport he had found. He contacted Crutchly, the maker of the ship, to teach him the ways of the knarr, wanting desperately to construct one of his own. After accomplishing this feat, Headhunter eagerly raced home to his workshop and cast aside all of his paints to begin work on yet another "Secret project", daring not to tell a soul what he had in mind. By now, it was too late. Headhunter had officially crossed over to the dark side and the proof of his deviant behaviour can finally be shown. Will anyone be able reach HH and bring him back to the colourful life he led before? Or will his soul forever be lost to the side of darkness?

[Seara 686]

It could have been much, much worse. Instead of the Dark Side, he could have crossed over to the Day-Glow Pink side !

[Broken 29]

I assure you it's only the first of many he just started on one end of the Red Green Blue scale! He will have to do alot of mixing to get back to the white.

[Gumbo 1,563]

Ambushed

The day started as any other for newly crowned fishing champ, Pifa. If you haven't heard yet, she managed to cross the line from super fisherperson, to Fishing Goddess with a skill of 100. Well today after taking care of a few chores around the village, Pifa decided it was time to take a nice relaxing break. What better way than to board the "Pink Lady" and casually row out to her favourite fishing hole. Things were going well, a perch here, a bass there, lunch was going to be a tasty one indeed. Suddenly.. there was a thud, then another, and another... Pifas' rowboat was under attack by a school of blue sharks. They had heard of her new found skill, and they were royally pissed. How many of their kinfolk had already been hooked and cooked by Pifa in the past? Shark after shark took a turn at trying to flip the rowboat. They wanted to make a meal of Pifa, in an effort to avenge all their dead relatives. Pifa, alone, with no hope of help arriving any time soon, held strong and fought back the only way she could. Cast after cast, reeling in shark after shark, her arms began to tire. There were just too many. Pifa grabbed an oar and desperately began to paddle for shore, and her life. The sharks were so thick the oar barely broke the surface of the water. Finally as she neared the land, her enemy began a slow retreat. Pifa had made it to safety. On the menu for the next month... Shark Fin Soup.

[Pingpong 1,070]

Ahh I was hoping Pifa would annihilate the shark hordes with lazer beams from her uber fishing pole Anyway, still a good read!

[Gumbo 1,563]

Hmmm, sounds like a good idea for the sequel.

[Seara 686]

"You're going to need a bigger boat !"

[headhunter 100]

Love then, love them all. I laughed too much at 'space cart'

[Theflash 54]

i found the troll assassination intresting xD

[Gumbo 1,563]

So Long, and Thanks for all the Champs

It is with great sadness that I bring this story to light. As most of you have either seen or heard, our cherished Champ animals are now becoming a thing of the past. One by one, each of the Champ species are becoming affected. They were once grand, magnificent animals that dominated the gene pool, but today, they're merely miniaturized versions of their previous greatness. Many Wurmians have been speculating what the cause of this disaster is. Yesterday at the University of Deliverance, alchemists announced they now know what it is. During a press conference held at Greendog yesterday, the alchemists clearly put the blame on coal-pile pollution. With the increased production of steel lately, the skies have been filling up with more and more smoke and soot. This pollution eventually settles into the lakes and oceans. The charcoal and tar created from the coal-piles ooze large amounts of sludge in the ground, which eventually finds its way into the water table. For years now the Champs have been drinking polluted water causing each generation of off-spring to slowly shrink. The Wunion would like to see some tough sanctions implemented against big steel producers in the future. Today, it's Champ animals... Tomorrow... ?

[Seara 686]

Dwarf Trolls ... ?

[Broken 29]

Please don't say bearsharks!

[axeblade346 164]

My bet is on Hell Pheasants.

[Gumbo 1,563]

Impalong "Corruption"

Last week, The Wunion sent an undercover reporter to the Impalong to scope things out before it got started. When it came time for one of the new upcoming games to be tested, Raycg decided he would be the brave soul to take on that duty. This game consisted of three 1x1 shacks, with a specific task needing to be completed before moving on to the next shack. The first shack had 2 jars of potent red wine that needed to be drank in under 10 minutes. The second shack had a champ crocodile with an infected/diseased tooth that needed to be pulled out. And in the third shack, a beautiful woman waited. The player must make sweet love to her until she "screams for mercy".
Raycg headed into shack number one. He chugged down the first jar of wine in no time at all. He became light headed and reached for the second jar. This one was not so easy. Slowly he took sip after sip. The clock was ticking... 7 minutes... 8 minutes... 9 minutes... Raycg stumbled out of the first shack, arms in the air. He had made it before the deadline. Ray tripped his way to the second shack with the champ crocodile and bravely entered. No one dared watch this difficult task. The yelling, the screaming, the moaning, all were enough to send shivers down a persons spine. Finally after an hour, Raycg emerged from the second shack that had the croc. He looked around and said, "Ok, now where'sh thish woman wit the shoar tooth at?"
Plans for the game were cancelled immediately.

Edited September 14, 2014 by Gumbo

[Bachus 462]

Best one yet Gumbo I nearly fell out of my chair laughing!

[Gumbo 1,563]

Protest on Pristine

A peaceful protest turned ugly outside the newly opened Natural Substance Abuse Clinic on Pristine today. Dozens of local villagers armed with signs and weapons formed a picket line in front of the entrance to the NSAC, denying entry to anyone that wanted to go in. After some screaming and shouting, a fight broke out and Spirit Templars had to be called to the scene to break up the unauthorized gathering. The Clinic was created as a place for Wemp growers to use their product in peace and quiet. Clean, unused rope tools are given to the Wemp growers for free as they enter and they're allowed to produce their product in a private room, undisturbed. The protesters argue they don't want this type of person in their neighbourhood because there's a training academy for newbs just down the street. Another complaint is these types of buildings lower the property value of homes in the area. If you walk down any of the roads in the area you can easily score 1,000 kgs of Wemp for around 1 silver. The streets simply aren't safe for anyone any more. After all the dust settled, the crowd was cleared and ordered home. No arrests were made.

 

 

 

Edit: pic went missing, re-upped it

Edited August 30, 2014 by Gumbo