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Really enjoyed that post, Gumbo - very amusing. :D

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Rare Ore Discovered

Yesterday on Independence, a foreman working on a digging project for a new canal in the Port Onody area was surprised when he unearthed some strange coloured rocks. This type of deep crimson ore has never been seen on any of the Freedom islands before. A generous sample was chipped away from the largest specimen and brought to Kylebooze, one of the foremost alchemists on Indy. After running a few tests over the course of a few hours, all our suspicions were proved correct. The red rock in question was in fact Seryll in it's purest form. Discovery of such a rare and valuable resource is sure to get fortune hunters running from all corners of the world to the base of Dragon Fang mountain. Currently, high quality Seryll is trading somewhere around 3 - 4 silvers per kilogram. Each slab dug up so far is estimated to weigh well over 100kgs, that's enough to put a dollar sign in the eyes of most treasure seekers.

Alchemists everywhere are speculating on the find. Up until now, it was believed that Seryll could only be attained by slaying Valrei creatures, none of which can be found on Independence. The existence of Valrei creatures on Freedom has always been passed off as a myth by elders. Perhaps the area of discovery is some ancient, centuries old Valrei graveyard. Maybe a giant chunk from one of the moons broke off and came crashing down here many years ago. Nothing is out of the question anymore. More research of the dig site will continue in the following days.
 

redrocks3.jpg

Edited by Gumbo
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It's been recently reported that a mysterious stranger has been seen lurking in Celebration. Our best sheep reporters have investigated and are happy to report it's just Gumbo. He has snuck over for some imping and to hang out during the treasure hunt. He however, is under watch by the guards due to the recent discovery from the treasure hunt. It turns out he is a former troll who only pretended to die after poisoning the poor first explorers. After the ill fated expedition, he sought out a great magical being to turn him human looking. He however forgot to change his name and still has not improved his cooking skills any. As evidence of the one story on this very thread, he has admitted to poisonous chicken gumbo being served to friends. So if anyone is traveling through the great plains and visits Misfits Hunting Lodge, be weary of any food cooked in the lodge by Gumbo. The bar however is always safe for some  delicious drinks.
gumb.png

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SPECIAL REPORT

 

It has been brought to our attention that some illegal fight clubs have sprung up around Celebration during the Treasure Hunt. Now, this was to be a time of fun and games and friendly help. Instead some players decided to fight out behind Misfits Lodge. We want to remind everyone that fight clubs are not allowed. We really don't like talking about it at all in fact. So please let these two be an example of the dangers of fighting. Gumbo and Doctorchaos had a strict talking to by our finest priests. gumbovsdrchaos.jpg

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2 hours ago, luvable said:

SPECIAL REPORT

 

It has been brought to our attention that some illegal fight clubs have sprung up around Celebration during the Treasure Hunt. Now, this was to be a time of fun and games and friendly help. Instead some players decided to fight out behind Misfits Lodge. We want to remind everyone that fight clubs are not allowed. We really don't like talking about it at all in fact. So please let these two be an example of the dangers of fighting. Gumbo and Doctorchaos had a strict talking to by our finest priests. gumbovsdrchaos.jpg

You broke the first rule of fight club! 

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15 hours ago, Firestarter said:

You broke the first rule of fight club! 

I said we really don't like taking about it!!!!

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On 2/29/2016 at 3:21 PM, Firestarter said:

You broke the first rule of fight club! 

 

and unfortunately the second..

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37 minutes ago, Psalamon said:

 

and unfortunately the second..

Well since I'm exposing the fight clubs, I'm not subject to the rules. *looks over shoulder for gumbo sneaking up*

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Entertainment News

Another Saturday night in Wurm and I had the pleasure of seeing a new comedic talent do his routine on the stage at Misfits Lodge down on Celebration. The rather large crowd was pounding back some of Wikidvudu's delicious Foggy Bombshells™ and in great spirits for the show. Making his very first appearance at the club was an up and comer by the name of Rodney Dangerwurm. Here's some of the highlights on the night.

-----

Hello ladies and gentlewurms, it's nice to be here at Misfits Lodge!
As a new Wurmian, I gotta tell ya, I was ugly, I was so ugly when I tried to use my silver hand mirror, it cracked.  I was so ugly, my first mayor tied a meat filet around my neck, so the town dog would play with me.  I was ugly alright, when I used to play in the sandbox, the champ wild cats kept covering me up.  I was so ugly, my mother used to feed me with a catapult!  When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.  If you think that's bad, last week my cloth shirt caught on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with a huge axe!  Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, "Make me a zombie." He said, "Rolf beat me to it."  I drink too much as well. The last time I gave a urine sample, it had an olive in it.

I tell ya, if that wasn't bad enough, when I was a kid all I knew was rejection. So much so that when I played with my yo-yo, it never came back!  When I was a kid I got no respect. There was the time I was kidnapped by goblins. They cut off my finger and sent it to my father. He messaged them back saying he wanted more proof!  Next day they sent my parents a note saying, "We want five hundred silver coins, or you'll SEE your kid again."


I gotta tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!  Not long ago, my wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.  One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!  Speaking of my wife, she only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.  The other night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.  My wife used to be afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light. I tell ya, I get no respect.


You've been a great audience, thanks for coming and remember to tip your waitress. Good night everyone!

 

Edited by Gumbo
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19 hours ago, Gumbo said:

Entertainment News

Another Saturday night in Wurm and I had the pleasure of seeing a new comedic talent do his routine on the stage at Misfits Lodge down on Celebration. The rather large crowd was pounding back some of Wikidvudu's delicious Foggy Bombshells™ and in great spirits for the show. Making his very first appearance at the club was an up and comer by the name of Rodney Dangerwurm. Here's some of the highlights on the night.

-----

Hello ladies and gentlewurms, it's nice to be here at Misfits Lodge!
As a new Wurmian, I gotta tell ya, I was ugly, I was so ugly when I tried to use my silver hand mirror, it cracked.  I was so ugly, my first mayor tied a meat filet around my neck, so the town dog would play with me.  I was ugly alright, when I used to play in the sandbox, the champ wild cats kept covering me up.  I was so ugly, my mother used to feed me with a catapult!  When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.  If you think that's bad, last week my cloth shirt caught on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with a huge axe!  Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, "Make me a zombie." He said, "Rolf beat me to it."  I drink too much as well. The last time I gave a urine sample, it had an olive in it.

I tell ya, if that wasn't bad enough, when I was a kid all I knew was rejection. So much so that when I played with my yo-yo, it never came back!  When I was a kid I got no respect. There was the time I was kidnapped by goblins. They cut off my finger and sent it to my father. He messaged them back saying he wanted more proof!  Next day they sent my parents a note saying, "We want five hundred silver coins, or you'll SEE your kid again."


I gotta tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!  Not long ago, my wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.  One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!  Speaking of my wife, she only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.  The other night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.  My wife used to be afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light. I tell ya, I get no respect.


You've been a great audience, thanks for coming and remember to tip your waitress. Good night everyone!

 

 

HAHAHA!!! your god damn hilarious @Gumbo

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As a recent kidnap victim willing helper to PO on Indy, I've noticed a few strange things going on. It seems Gumbo has found a way to levitate his horses. Now, we've sent our detectives to investigate and possibly a young priest and old priest just in case. But we're pretty sure it has something to do with the sermons happening non stop at Fight Club. Now they say it's only to grind and channel and all that. But secretly, they're up to something.

8skTy0D.png

 

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Eau de Troll

 

We now take a break from our regularly scheduled Wurming to bring you this special announcement.

 

Ladies, it doesn't matter what island you live on. If you're anything like me, after a hard day of farming, veggie chopping, brick making, as well as the occasional deep mining expedition, you're just not feeling as feminine as you'd like. Bathing in the lake only adds more of a foul odour, and Fo forbid you come across a patch of octopus ink while taking a lap around the pond. And have you ever tried cleaning up at one of those public fountains you find on the street? A lady can't even shine up her steel breast plate without someone making a rude comment. Believe me, it's not just the Cats Eyes that are peering at you out there.


Well today, I'd like to tell you about an easy to use product I found on a merchant at some ancient market, atop a very tall mountain, somewhere, someplace. It's called "Eau de Troll". When the sage in charge informed me of it's magical properties, I simply didn't believe him. So he splashed a few drops upon my arm and it's smelled wonderfully fantastic. Almost instantaneously I could feel a surge of energy run through my veins. After equipping my knife, I was some how able to chop veggies at double the rate!  Well I stocked up with every pottery jar of the stuff he had and couldn't be happier. Now, when I go out after a hard days work, I'm irresistible.

 

Troll5.jpg

Edited by Gumbo
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i think i saw one of my ex's chasing champagne  dragon.. so thats where shes been..

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Here we see Gumbo having a nap after working himself to the point of exhaustion

 

NUM1kS5.jpg

 

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Neb and Gumbo

 

After a few recent enquiries into some past events and history, a very old and rare tale of my youth was recollected. This is the story of two great pals, Neb and Gumbo, and their wondrous journey...

 

Years ago, in the time of only 4 Gods, one day Neb and myself were magically whisked away to a beautiful place of Worship. The original Gods were in all in attendance at this magnificent holy site. The intimidating Magranon, Fo, Vynora, and even Libila mesmerized us with her presence. The four Gods gathering together was no mistake, they were there for a meeting and they had all come to the same agreement. The uprising of the Demi-Gods needed to be shut down immediately. The four Gods were wise and aware of the impending Doooom!!** that these Demi-Gods would create. So they gave upon Neb and myself a dangerous task... Take this, the one golden ring to the fires of Magincia. It is the source of the Demi-Gods power. Find the destruction vestibule atop the marble spire, then drop the ring into it. This will destroy the ring, forever putting an end to the Demi-Gods evil rampage, before it gets out of control.

 

A moment later, my eyes opened, Neb was there, we were in a forest on a path. To the north I spied the Dragon Fang. Magincia Islands' last know whereabouts was floating to the east somewhere in the Bearshark Bay. Darkness was beginning to settle in, we decided to make camp where we were, then head out come the morn. Neb, did not surprise with his latest rare campfire, we chuckled about how his Doctorate in Alchemy was really paying off once again. After which, we arm wrestled and the loser would have to clean up the hazardous rare ash that would otherwise poison the area. A few moments later, I took out the ring handed to me by Magranon himself, to examine it a little closer by the rare firelight. One could feel the strength and power of the ring, it warmed more and more knowingly absorbing the heat of the flame. As I peered upon the inside of the band, some lettering started to appear in a scarlet colour. My heart began to race, eyes widened, here, here is a message, maybe some hidden piece of wisdom not seen in countless ages. The words all came to a blazing light, I could read it now... "A E R ... Aeris.. it's here, all of it ... "Aeris has a Supreme Posterior". Truly the Gods are incredible and we slept peacefully dreaming of their wise words, in our pitched tents. *cough* 

 

The sun awoke us early in the morning. Our journey east had brought us to the coast, with Magincia approximately a 42km swim away. Lucky for Neb and me that as young'ins, we were able to hold our breath forever and swim countless distances without ever having to take another. Five hours and a record breaking 684 shark attacks nipping at us later, we made land, without damage. Not too far off, we could see the billow of smoke rising from the lava pit. We headed down a road that oddly seemed familiar. The hills there, that open rock face terrain, I know this place, this is where I grew up. Look down that road... my first home was there... and yours over there... the lava pit! This is Southport!
I ran towards the lava, up the side, right to the top of the edge. We were home... This is the lava pit we subverted then contained, right before it laid waste to that village over there. It's been decades since any maintenance has been done to control the flow of this lava. Over to the side, where we changed the course of the lava those many years ago, the land there, it's now been melted away to uncovered the ancient marble holy site. This must be the place the Gods instructed us to find.

 

Neb finally managed to climb up to where I was, but had to pound back our last two jars of wine to do so. I'm pretty sure he was fibbing about being out of stamina tho. As he crested the peak, he saw the marble holy site and the receptacle that was placed majestically atop by the Gods. It was somehow perfectly balanced on the very tip of the spire. That was our goal. A rare BSB glowing brighter than daylight, it shone and sparkled like nothing I'd ever seen before. I looked close upon the BSB, it had a message embossed on the side. "Deposit Rings Here". I reached into my pocket, taking out the golden ring given me. With the ring in one hand, I quickly touched the brilliant BSB with my other hand to make sure it was safe. A tingle of goodness ran up my spine, so I lifted the lid of the destruction BSB, held the ring above the opening, then paused. An overwhelming feeling had taken grasp. Is it right for me to drop this golden ring into the BSB and put an end to the Demi-God way of life? It was a huge responsibility, I realize that now. But I must, must drop the ring into the rare BSB and put an end to this, as the Gods have instructed. It's the right and only thing to do. I slowly release the pressure of my grasp, the ring dropping towards the opening... But wait, somehow it's stopped, it didn't go in, something seems wrong, it's not going in. Look, the message on the side has now changed, it reads, "The Ring Would be Destroyed". So again I tried to drop it in, the same message, "The Ring Would be Destroyed". Great, great.. that's just what we want, destroy away! But nothing happened. The ring is simply refusing to go into this large, empty destruction receptacle set up by the Gods. I don't understand it. That's when Neb piped up and suggested using my other hand to drop the ring. When that didn't work, he suggest spinning around 3 times anti-clockwise first, then dropping it. Hmmm... Maybe if we pushed this BSB over onto that spot over there it would work? No... Well how about you dig down that side of this sacred ancient heritage alter, and I'll use the dirt to raise up this side of it. Then the ring should slide right in, if we get the correct slope. Neb, please keep quiet with the suggestions, I don't feel like having my heart ripped out today. It's probably just something simple that we're overlooking, let me think about this for a minute. *Neb pokes out a small knothole on the rare BSB with the butt of his sword, then looks at Gumbo attempting to entice him to try to drop the ring through the knothole* - *Gumbo tries, then frowns*. Well Neb, We're in the right place, have the correct instructions, doing exactly what we were supposed to do, but it's just not working. Do me a favour, tell the Gods what occurred and let them know they'll have to find another way to stop those pesky Demi-Gods.

See ya around Neb  o/
*Gumbo puts on golden ring*
/Gumbo vanishes

Neband-Gumbo.jpg

 

**this adword sponsored by Darwin

Edited by Gumbo
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But like, couldn't the eaglespirits just have flown you there?

 

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Neb was a little hefty back then, the shipping costs would have been enormous.

:D

Edited by Gumbo
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The message of this story is interesting, should be turned into a movie

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