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Madnath

The Vynoran Inquirer

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The Vynoran Inquirer

 

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The trolls hard at work for their trip to Chaos…

 

Hello everyone! Madnath here to help fill the space between Valrei International threads. Today we’ve got a bit of a format change, including a less silly title for the series and a better look at what everyone has been up to recently. I’m hoping this new format change is to everyone's liking, and that there’s something for everyone. Feedback is always welcome and appreciated, so make sure to let your thoughts fly in the comments about what we’ve got in store and any grumblings you might have about Pilk/Turkish Delight. 

So…. Let’s get started!


 

Treasure Loot And What’s In Store!

 

We’ve taken a lot of the feedback from threads, ingame and streams to heart and we notice there’s some tweaks that need to come to loot and what you get from your chests. We totally understand the concerns put forward about the amount of leather and ropes in the chests. We believe that each player works very hard for their chest, from acquiring it all the way through to following through with all the steps. Our penned change to go live next week is the following:

 

  • Unique item chance will be changed to be 10%.
  • If this chance passes, you will get a unique item piece currently in the chests.
  • If it fails, we’ll give a generous participation prize that will double or triple the current amount of leather or rope offered.

 

We’d like to once again thank everyone for their patience as we work on this bold new system further and try to refine it more to everyone's tastes. 

 

Where’s The Rum Gone?!?

 

We’ve also taken note of the request for a pity system for gaining treasure maps, and additional actions people would like treasure maps to come from. Due to how these systems work and how we intended the system to work for existing mechanics without rare roll benefit to finally get a good one, we’ve taken a slightly different approach to fixing this. 

Fitting in with the pirate theme, drinking rum before doing the actions that give you a chance to acquire a map will now give you up to a 50% boost to get the casket. Every 20 points of drunkenness is a 10% boost to that grand prize. 

 

There may be some concerns about the fact coconuts must be crafted from a hard to find component. We apologize for this, as we cannot add coconut trees until we figure out how to make Saroman get a skin token for a coconut tree to work on an enchanted tree tile. For those of you on SFI, we advise seeking out Eleraan who seems to somehow have access to a coconut bearing palm tree, with which he makes rum from….

 

Wurm NFTs Are Finally Here!

 

The jig is up! We’re finally ready to announce the first batch of Wurm NFTs made by our loving community while Saroman is busy with the aforementioned work. So far we’ve got contributions from the wonderful Archaed, the beautiful Blazecraze who’s like a brother to me, and one of the GL favourites, Jacalina! Enjoy the collection below!

 

Bored Arch Knarr Alliance. 

Spoiler

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/766788538707738625/988829372419018752/BoredArchKnarrAlliance.png

Blazecraze Bored Goblin Congregation.

Spoiler

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/815163262022713364/988823849279840306/Coolgobo.png

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/815163262022713364/988823690756096071/Coolgobo2.png

Jacalina’s Menacing Frogspider. 

Spoiler

EGoiumX.jpeg

 

You can expect these to hit the Wurm Store’s brand new auction page soon!

 

Wurm’s First Broadcast!

 

For the first time ever, we’re receiving a broadcast from our friends over on Release. They reported some urgent news that must be put to press immediately. Sadly, our friends haven’t been online in a while but we did get this strange broadcast sent to us. This was encrypted when received but for the first time ever, we’re able to not just put into words an actual broadcast, but also decipher the message live. What you’re reading below is a true Wurm first, and totally exclusive to The Vynoran Inquirer. This is presented in real time, unedited. 

 

I̶̝͝T̴̹̤̏͗'̸̖̑̈́S̶̟̕ ̴̛͕̖H̶̥͙́̈́Ē̶͍R̴̘̈̀Ę̶͉̓͑ ̴͎̭͋̅T̸̞͗Ḫ̶͙̐͠E̶͉̙̔̊ ̸̠̣́͌Ē̶̮͔͗N̸̹͂D̷̼͛ ̵͍̬͂Ĭ̸͉̰Ś̸̖̺̊ ̸͇̉̈H̷͉̤͑̕E̸͓̿R̸̳̚E̷͔̓ ̴̧͇̕W̶̙͓̏E̵̬̓̍ ̴̟̘̓͒C̷̝̀͆A̵͍̕N̵̛̼͓̔Ṇ̷̆O̷͇̕Ṭ̶͍͠ ̵͉̂̊W̸̜͆͝O̵̬̾̒ͅṞ̷̱̉K̸̜͒̕ ̶͈̓͠I̷̭̼͊̏T̸̜̈̈́ ̵͚̎͑O̴̮̿Ú̸͚T̸̼̽ ̵̤̻̾̚T̶͙̙̈́H̴͉̦̓E̴̡͚̾̚ ̶͚̿D̸̬̞̎̎A̵̻̅T̷̻̑A̸͇͇͛͝ ̸̖͐̏D̸̮̍Ő̴͇̜́E̵͇͇͆̚S̷̛͙͝N̴̥̥͆̽'̷̛͖T̶̮̬͛͝ ̸̲͘M̷̟̿͛ͅÀ̵̺̔K̷̩͖͂E̴̪̽̂ͅ ̴̥̫͛S̶̺̭̀̊Ȩ̶̮͑N̵̢͝Ś̴̭Ḙ̵̚ ̸͖͒͠Á̸̮̊N̴͍͝ͅD̶̰͎͒̉ ̸͌ͅȊ̵̺T̷͚͖͝͠ ̷̛͙͈̂C̴̠̥̈́A̵͕͊͌ͅN̷̺͈͛͛N̵̤͍͊O̵̭̐̈T̴͙̾ ̷͖̉B̵̼̋Ẹ̸̿ ̸̱̰̄͝C̷̣͉͐͝O̷̯̙͆N̸̛̟̋ͅT̴̹̿R̶̘͋͜O̴̧̫͋͝L̸̼͎͗́L̴̪̽Ë̸̬́D̸̺͎̄ ̸̖̘͆W̶̖͕̄̄É̸̟̯̋ ̵̦̿T̸̩̗̆̚R̸̕͜I̵̼̿̏E̶̦̾́ͅD̷͙͛͑ ̷͇̲̎̔T̵̰̃Ȯ̵̙̺̔ ̵͚̐͂B̷̯͑͝E̵͍͝N̵͔̔͑D̴̻̺͛͘ ̴͈̆͠Í̵̫̯Ţ̵̱͝ ̶̮̀̒T̶̪̥̎͛Ő̸͈ ̷̲̑͂O̷̤̼̾͂U̴̗͐͒R̸̦̓̅ ̴͎̆͝W̴̫̪̌͊Į̵̥͌̊L̸͚͔͋͝L̶̞̣͑ ̸̩̅B̵̧͛̋Ǘ̷̦̬̎T̵̺̹̃ ̴͍̱͋͒O̵̤̊Û̵̦̮̂R̵͖̻̐ ̷͕̻̿̈M̴̨̊Ḯ̵̞̣̕N̸͔͓̄̾D̷̫̾S̸̱̝̾͐ ̶̦͆M̴̘̄E̸̜̕L̴̛̠̳̑T̴̗͆̿͜E̶̗̚͝D̷̘̾ ̷̼̇̃Ō̴̧͍Ű̴̡̕R̷̡̥̀̃ ̴̟͑͊E̷̼͍̎̉Y̸͍͎͌Ę̷̃̑S̸̲͝ ̷̨̈́̒E̸̳̊X̷̙̥̿̃P̴̼̂̈́L̶̝͖̈́̆Ó̶̼̘͌D̴̩̀E̶̦̾D̴̳̠̆̌ ̷̫͔̚͝Ȏ̵͍͇Ṻ̷̻Ṙ̷̢͉ ̸̛̭̦̍T̶͚̰͒̈O̷͔̚Ǹ̷̰̀G̶̳̭͐̿Ũ̸̟E̸͔̞̐S̸͉͚̊͌ ̷̜̲̀̈́B̵̧̕O̷̜̥͗Ȋ̸͖͇L̸̘͌E̵̙̼̚D̷̞͗ ̴̟̄̌T̵̙̦̀̈́H̴̬͍̓E̵͎͚͆Y̷̡̩̊'̵͗͜R̵̲͎̃̀E̷̛̲̣͆ ̵͚̙͊C̵͔̗͂Ö̴͖̫́͊M̸̙̱̅I̷̮̲̍͘N̷̡̡̈́G̵̥̋͠ ̵̛̺̺̒F̶̣̤͂O̸̲̓R̶̞̱̿̆ ̷̰́̏U̷̘̽͗Ś̷̮ ̸͖̹́̌Ṱ̶̫͗Ḥ̴̦̅͘Ē̴̻̺͝Y̷̮͓͛'̸͍̒͆R̸͉͊Ḛ̴͇̎ ̵̜̑C̷̖͓̒̄O̶̬͍̎̈́M̵̧͈̃Ĭ̷͓̕N̴̗͍̚G̷͓̜̈̈́  R̷E̶O̴P̶E̵N̵ ̶T̸H̷E̴ ̶V̴-̶F̸I̷L̵E̵S̴ ̵R̵E̷O̶P̸E̵N̶ ̵T̵H̸E̷ ̴V̵-̵F̷I̸L̶E̵S̴ ̶R̵E̷O̵P̷E̸N̶ ̵T̴H̷E̷ ̷V̴-̵F̵I̴L̸E̷S̸ ̵   Ť̵̡͗̒̌́Ḩ̸̧͇̤͉̓E̸̟̱̹͎͎̓̋̀̓̐ ̵͙̈́̅F̴́̃͆̍͜Ó̴̪͙̠́ͅG̶̤͔̤͔̀̈́ͅ ̴̥͉̑I̸̮̹̰̓̌͝S̶̺̊̓͆͆͊ ̷̳̈́͐̃H̶̳̮͎́E̷͕̠͚̰̒̅̈́̎͌R̴̛͍̻͈̯̽̈́̇͗E̵̳͛ ̵̨̡̣͖̲̋̅͝I̴͖͂̈́͊͊T̶͈̟̒̉ ̷͙̝̖͉͊W̷͙̃̆̕̚Ȉ̵̖̀́̍L̸̨̘̖̤̈́̈͋͌̈ͅL̷͓̫̠̗̍ ̷̖͛C̶̟̜̙͝L̶̛̼̐͂̊͘E̵̮͑͗͘̚A̵̭͚̬̓͐͗͝N̴͇̠̗̗̺̓̐͋̄͂S̵̳̳̘̤̲̆̋E̸̳̞̅̆ ̵̦̥͔̀͂͘T̵̟̺͆͝Ḧ̸̺̖̤́ͅẺ̴͎̏ ̶͎̔͑S̵͇̍̇̿̎͝E̸͓͈͙̞͔͆̈́͝͝͝R̵̟̖̭̩̽̎͂Ṽ̷̖̜͔Ë̴̘́̎́R̸͉͔͆͊̚ ̷̛͎̰͚͈̀̍O̸͖̜̫̝͋̀̓̑̿ͅF̴̰͖̹̓̈́̀͘ͅ ̴̪͙̩̯̔̒̈͝͝I̵͇͝ͅŢ̶̮̌̄̈̍Ş̸̭̳̳̮̍̎͝͠ ̸̧̢̬̎̅Ṡ̴̲͍͇̈́͊I̶͍͓͑̎N̴͍̫͈͕̬̅S̵̢͈̪̉ ̸̢͇̻̰̙̂͊W̴̙̒́E̵̛̦̻̤͋̇̓ ̶͍̋͠W̵͎͑̂̽I̴͚̩̘͠L̴̡͙͒̀L̵͎̟̙͛̑́͜͠ ̶͖̹̬̄̉̄̚B̶̪̝̾̋È̸̱̰̼̌̂͠ ̶̧̠̤̫̃W̷͇̦͕͜͠ͅẮ̶̡̛̝̏S̸̝̘̹͍̬̐H̴̳̺̳̿̄̕E̴̼̹̠͎̎́̎͜D̶̫̩͗̏̕ ̶̢̳͇̣͕̀̐̽͐I̶͎̼͖̼͒Ň̴̯͍̿̈̋ͅ ̷̤̺̻̳̂́̀T̶̫͇̗̱̿͜H̸̦͜͝E̸̗̿͛͑ ̵̣͂̿̒̕͜C̷͙̣̊U̷̧̠̮̫͆̏̓̏͜R̵̡͉̠̱̄̄R̷̘̦̤̱̻̍̏Ë̵̺̫̠̰̃̑N̶̺̩̖̜̏̔̉̎T̵͈͚͑̋̑̔͝ ̸͖̙̺̻͇̔̅̌̽Ö̵̩̬̦̣̯́́̏͌̕U̸͈̭̓͑̍R̷̰̳̹̮̂̽̌̆͜ ̴̨͕̈́͐͐̔͠S̷̘̩̘̋ͅḮ̴̘͋̑̒N̴̙̦̤̮̾̓̑͆̾S̸͎͕̿̑̀̀̚ ̴̱͍̏̈W̷̡͖̞͐I̴̲̺̣̹̋ͅL̸̝̆̆̔͊̿L̶͉̮̽̆̽̈͝ͅ ̶̻̦͇̀́̅B̴̤͚̒̓È̷̡̨̫̉̀͠ ̵̧̧̢̪̃̀͋͝Ḁ̷̓̌͐B̷̰̲̔̂S̶̱͔̜̦̀̈́Ǫ̵̹̠̜̙̊͌̕͠L̷͉̯̄̚Ṽ̵̭͙Ę̸͍̹̏͛D̶̙͎̈́̊́ ̴̛̭̤̆̓͘C̶̫͑͐̈͝Ä̴̜͚̙́̎Ŕ̸̢̲̪̼̹͗͛́T̴̳̓ ̵͔̲͝͝C̴̡̦̩̍͋̂͘Ḧ̴̲́́͝É̴ͅM̷̧͚̄̋͠T̴̤̀̍͠R̵̗͇̃͂Ȃ̸̙̔́͠Í̵͈̩̅L̷̲̪̳̅̃͝S̵̠͑̓ ̵̢̩̯̣́̌A̸̧̢̯͕͈̓͑R̶͇̼̥͗̓̊̉̅Ẻ̸̬̹̳̂̔̐͘ ̸̲̰̕R̶̮̔̿͝Ḛ̸̢̰̬̙̈́͌̽̐Ả̸͖͓̑̈̃L̶̯͇̦̼̆̆͠


 

Wow. Okay. I did not expect that. I wonder if there’s a hidden message inside…

Errr, moving on!

 

The News!

 

As mentioned earlier, we have our first news segment! This will be all about what the players in the world have been up to as of recent and the news they’ve submitted to us. Let’s get started!

 

Troll Bezoars

 

Celebration Arndell seems to have something of an addiction problem! He reports that he got a rare roll butchering somehow and ended up with a 30kg lump of bezoar from a troll he slayed near his deed. Initially repulsed by the look and smell, he decided to give it a taste. Once the puking subsided he mentions being unable to be without the horrid mass. He describes sleeping with it nearby as he finds the smell comforting and even giving it small knitted clothing. Despite his attachment though he cannot help going in for further licks and bites. This has raised concerns with locals as he’s single handedly destroying the troll population of Celebration trying to hunt down more, and his brother also mentions finding scribbles in blood declaring his intent to murder the ultimate troll, yours truly!

 

We advise staying away from Arndell’s Homestead and the general area of Northmere Bridge on Celebration. I’d also like to let Arndell know I do not have any large, juicy bezoars in my stomach anymore. I get them regularly removed when I get my delousing treatment. 











 

Local Man Digs 49000 Clay In Hopes of Finding Treasure Map Worth Less Than Clays Sale Value

 

akS0VkbexfqmpgTSuxYpiP8i-tB_oEq7-13X1Y3gCVhlGFgkUWhPRQkxbIP5A0i5AMCID0_RrXos-YKSlR62HVhZrSLDsA53tm6Ftt1-Vp89-BEKi8grkO8caC6_6dlmbfgBzklY6pHT7Rh4

Fabricant cannot stop digging!

 

Another Celebration regular, Fabricant, has been digging endlessly in hopes of getting treasure maps, even going as far as dumping clay on the Xanadu border! Getting closer to him, I can only hear the mutter “Stream content… stream content…. stream content!”

 

He appears in a stupor, going deeper into a horrible pit of insanity with each failed rare roll. GM’s have been notified of his slip into madness, and we’ll keep you posted on his status in the next post. Remember to catch his stream if you want to see how utterly twisted this poor soul is. 

 

Ritual Of The Sun Cast On Harmony - 10 Players Happy To Get Journal Complete, 100 Happy For Sleep Bonus, 20 Players Mad

 

Our friends on NFI report a casting of the Ritual Of The Sun! Many are happy to get the journal mark and even more are happy for the nice sleep bonus and body stamina tick. However a rumbling of players who insist on faith swapping for every possible rite are creating a stink, forcing players to take to the forum to suggest a complete nerf of global spell benefits. The Vynoran Inquirer urges all to keep a level head and approach this with the best intentions possible, and to just cast the damn thing and let those who can’t convert go pound sand rather than suggesting to totally nerf a system many appreciate. 

 

The Vynoran Inquirer also suggests using the wonderful Stanlee’s Grand Ritual List so you can get that journal cross sooner. You can find it here and feel free to message any of us on the front page list to be added to it. 

https://forum.wurmonline.com/index.php?/topic/187260-the-grand-ritual-spell-cast-list/

 

Wurmians In Shock: Find Out How One Soda And A Larder Staple Created A Global Beverage Phenomenon.

 

GL-Freedom has recently embraced the incredible combo of Pepsi and milk, also known as Pilk. And so far, it’s taking the game by storm! Many yell in support of this incredible beverage and its supposed health benefits and have a desire to one day see it ingame in its full glory. The story of Pilk is a short but thrilling tale, when I posted Pilk and explained what it is one day in GL. The rest is history. Many months later, many still repost it frequently and discussion often centers around pilk and where it belongs in the food triangle. Other applications have been found that include using it as a natural moisturizer for your skin, and as treatment for people without a funny bone. Expect this to stick around for a while, until it eventually totally burns out and is unloved like most fads. 



 

And that’s all we’ve got for now folks. Thank you for reading, even if only select parts. Again, feel free to leave feedback and tell me how painfully unfunny this was and how I peaked at my first thread. 

 

Until next time friends, 

Madnath (inside your walls)

Edited by Madnath
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Any word on when we'll get to craft Turkish Delight? I have all these roses just sitting around. 

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This is so awesome, and thanks again for featuring my Frogspider! :)

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Just in case it's not clear, this is satire and not endorsed or written by official Wurm Online staff. :)

 

Future posts of this nature should include a disclaimer.

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4 minutes ago, Keenan said:

Just in case it's not clear, this is satire and not endorsed or written by official Wurm Online staff. :)

 

Future posts of this nature should include a disclaimer.

 

is the title not tongue in cheek enough

shame to see these posts are now relegated to not being seen in woodscraps now, oh well

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4 minutes ago, Keenan said:

Just in case it's not clear, this is satire and not endorsed or written by official Wurm Online staff. :)

 

Future posts of this nature should include a disclaimer.

 

Now THIS is how to do satire.

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4 minutes ago, Ajala said:

 

Now THIS is how to do satire.

 

Well look on the bright side. I'm either now a credible news source who needs to label their stuff as satire, or it's not clear after doing these for like two years I'm clearly just having a fun time writing bombastic silly news about weird things and observations.

 

I'll see you next time for some actual, credible news.

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Just now, Madnath said:

 

Well look on the bright side. I'm either now a credible news source who needs to label their stuff as satire, or it's not clear after doing these for like two years I'm clearly just having a fun time writing bombastic silly news about weird things and observations.

 

I'll see you next time for some actual, credible news.

 

No disrespect brother. Your post was whimsy. His post was (inadvertent?) satire. Satire and whimsy can both be funny.

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34 minutes ago, Madnath said:

 

Well look on the bright side. I'm either now a credible news source who needs to label their stuff as satire, or it's not clear after doing these for like two years I'm clearly just having a fun time writing bombastic silly news about weird things and observations.

 

I'll see you next time for some actual, credible news.

I heard of a neighbour passing a deed that had a woodscraps on each farm tile. 

 

Don't stress, some wurmians are just super gullible and likely to lack the critical thinking to recognise it being satire. 

 

(to the person reading this, not you though, you super smart and I'm proud of you) 

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