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Ltnicolas

(Humor) My first Rift, Aaaaaand?

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November 16th, 2021.

1603 Hours local time

Participants are massing up ready to begin the slaughter of a Rift.

 

 

 

Private Ltnicolas (yes, it's named as a lieutenant but is as green as a rookie. Great start), 8th class, is finishing up his preparatives.

2H Sword? Check

Leather Armor while riding a horse? Check

40 units of wool? Check (Spoiler: I ran short)

Horse Armor? (What's that? can you eat it?)

 

Mouse cursor running lightning fast across the screen, hovering over every player, hoping to find someone known to me to follow in hopes of getting some clues as to what the hell I have to do here.

 

 

The Rift opens. Creatures start to litter the area. The slaughter begins.

Player count: 34. I feel safe.

Well, not for long...

 

 

 

 

 

(Extract from PMs with Baeowuf while rifting. Timestamps are local time. Post-notes are marked with asterisk and brackets)

 

 

[16:47:55] <Ltnicolas> doing my first rift ever
[16:48:03] <Baeowuf> Oooh, fun!
[16:48:06] <Baeowuf> Be careful
[16:48:14] <Ltnicolas> man this is a massacre     *(OFC it's a massacre: It's so damn easy to swing a huge blade trying to cut some flesh and (hopefully) avoid being hit. Especially if no one's hitting you)
[16:48:33] <Baeowuf> XD
[16:48:37] <Baeowuf> The NOISES
[16:48:40] <Baeowuf> Are awful  *(Yes they are)
[16:48:45] <Baeowuf> I always have to disable sound at rifts
[16:49:19] <Ltnicolas> 125% agree. Summoners hit sound like a mix of a donkey and a mosquito   *(No exaggeration here)
[16:50:07] <Baeowuf> LMAO yeah
[16:50:13] <Baeowuf> Seen any ogres yet?
[16:50:39] <Ltnicolas> yeah they are right in front of me
[16:50:44] <Ltnicolas> they asound like a 50cc scooter   *(again: they sound BAD. not like a bad boy, but just plain bad)
[16:50:57] <Baeowuf> Hahaha

 

(So far so fun, right?)


[16:51:15] <Baeowuf> Those ogre mages can put a hurting on you fast if you don't watch out for their AoE spells

 

(I should have known better. Now here comes the other kind of "fun")


[16:51:49] <Ltnicolas> [16:51:33] <Laval> oh boy a champ      *(Another player spots a champ moments later. DUH)
[16:52:00] <Ltnicolas> we could call it a SNAFU
[16:54:46] <Baeowuf> Never been a more accurate word for it     *(SNAFU: Situation Normal: All F*cked Up)
[16:55:12] <Ltnicolas> there is
[16:55:17] <Ltnicolas> [16:55:06] You see a severe fracture at the right calf. The wound is worsening.      *(Took a HUGE blow. Severe leg bruise, worsening. Adding all other small wounds the situation is really dire.)
[16:55:24] <Ltnicolas> see?  *(Low First Aid means repeated failures to bandage)
[16:55:38] <Baeowuf> OOF
[16:56:15] <Ltnicolas> what could possibly be worse?   *(As soon as i was typing...)
[16:56:18] <Ltnicolas> how about...
[16:56:19] <Ltnicolas> [16:56:07] You try to treat the wound with a healing cover but fail.
[16:56:25] <Ltnicolas> (my 20 power cover)   *(my ONLY cover, and had run out of bandages)
[16:56:38] <Ltnicolas> this is (almost) hilarious actually    *(Sometimes, like with all things in life, big or small, when things go waaaay bad it starts to become hilarious. Or almost hilarious)
[16:57:13] <Baeowuf> No Fo priests?
[16:57:20] <Ltnicolas> yes there are
[16:57:42] <Ltnicolas> but at 28% health i dont want to risk one-shot, as we're focusing champ    *(OFC! I lost more than 50% HP in a single blow, no covers, no bandages. i don't want to risk getting one-shotted)
[17:02:32] <Ltnicolas> and while i was typing [16:59:13] <Ltnicolas> need a priest, have a bad wound
[17:02:52] <Ltnicolas> lit while i was typing someone casted light of fo or whatever. My arse is safe for now   *(somehow I got healed. I was getting ready to die with honor already)
[17:02:58] <Baeowuf> Hahaha
[17:03:03] <Baeowuf> You have good armor, right?
[17:03:25] <Ltnicolas> .............i think?

 

...

 

 

 

 

Spoilers: I survived. I completed my first rift. I had a laugh. What could possibly go wrong?

 

How about... Not bringing any tool at all? No pickaxe, no butchering knife, nothing.

But hey! I scored 122pts and got a fantastic or whatever it was called (i forgot now) on my *first* rift ever. Got 233 pts that wouldn't let me redeem anything with it.

 

But hey! I had a laugh...

And a heart attack, in that order

and then another laugh.

******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

The End

(For now)

******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

 

 

 

THANKS:

 

Baeowuf that gave me permission to share PM and for all the laugh and moral support

Tpicant for all the kind help, as usual from you :)

Pukaria that was that Fo priest that saved my arse that time.

All Harmony Rift participants (37+ at the end). Done in 1hr56min!! Not bad for NFI, I was told

 

 

All situations and conversations here are real and I give my word of honor that it has not been altered.

 

 

 

 

DISCLAIMER:

Electro-Cardiogram results after the rift were fine. EEG and impact on cognitive skills unknown.

No animals were harmed during the whole event.  *(read post-edit *3)

(I think?)     *(I thought)

 

 

Post-edit:

1*someone asked my fighting skills. 23.

2*No enchants. No LT, WA, whatever. No. Nada. None. Nichts.

3*[19:02:33] <Laval> was reading your rift experence post Nic, animals did get harmed, 2 hens and I think a pig died

    [19:03:37] <Laval> I made a grave for one of the hens

 

(lol)

Edited by Ltnicolas
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20 minutes ago, Yggdrasil said:

The real adventure was the friends you had to eat along the retreat

 

 

 

28 minutes ago, Ltnicolas said:

No animals were harmed during the whole event.

 

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11 hours ago, Ltnicolas said:

 

 

 

 

Do you have a moment to talk about our Lady and Patron, Libila?

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1 hour ago, Yggdrasil said:

Do you have a moment to talk about our Lady and Patron, Libila?

 

No. Vynora FTW. I don't negotiate my faith.

#TeamVynora

:P

 

 

edit: [14:36:08] Libilas followers now have the attention of the forest spirits.

I still don't negotialte my faith

Edited by Ltnicolas
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Well on that matter, rattle your cabeza some.  You'll recall by own admission, it was Fo for the win and life,   Fo real, Fo Life, Fo evah!!   seriously enjoyed your post.  creatively humorous way to capture your first rift experience.  Universally accurate too for wurmians first encounters.  Keep up the great spirit!!!  An emerging player to keep note of!!

 

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4 hours ago, Bloodscythe said:

Well on that matter, rattle your cabeza some.  You'll recall by own admission, it was Fo for the win and life,   Fo real, Fo Life, Fo evah!!   seriously enjoyed your post.  creatively humorous way to capture your first rift experience.  Universally accurate too for wurmians first encounters.  Keep up the great spirit!!!  An emerging player to keep note of!!

 

 

Hey sup! Glad you enjoyed it.


[15:01:28] <Ltnicolas> either I managed to put people's experiences into words or did a very generic writing :D

[15:09:04] <Baeowuf> I think it was the former hahaha

 

And... yeah, I almost lost my cabeza. Fo saved my culo that time.

But my point still stands:

4 hours ago, Ltnicolas said:

I still don't negotialte my faith

 

Vynora FTW!!

Edited by Ltnicolas
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On 11/16/2021 at 2:39 PM, Ltnicolas said:

Vynora FTW!!

 

Fo FTW saving your nalgas!

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On 2/3/2022 at 6:54 PM, Nicholai said:

 

Fo FTW saving your nalgas!

Sure thing, more saves than a goalkeeper LOL

 

 

I'm suggesting new players to read the topic because even if it was done for the sake of a good self-laugh it portrays a little bit the experience of a rift for the first time. Right now i have like 7+ rifts and already got the hang of it; but first-timers like me back then do not know what to expect.

 

For example, I discovered that when low you actually have to cramp with allies because an AOE heal is much better than bandaging wounds one by one. Just to be careful with getting one-shotted.

 

Edited by Ltnicolas
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