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Bloodreina

On my way out (and a final feedback... not to the devs, but to you :P)

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51 minutes ago, Aeris said:

I feel like this might be an Expectation Vs. Reality problem regarding what you imagine an ideal ingame relationship to be like. Some people regularly message everyone on their friendslist while others only message people when they have something they want to ask: Because people are different and treat their ingame relationships according to their own expectations. Perhaps someone in your friendslist would, over time, come to message you in the way you'd want them to - Either because they've gotten to know you well enough to feel comfortable doing so, or because they know you well enough to know that they should do that to meet your needs.

 

No one is wrong in the scenario you described but it is a bit unfair of you to tell people to, and I quote, "start considering if you can't do something more to support Wurm than buy your premium". Buying your premium playtime is literally the only thing you are required to do in order to support the game (apart from following rules and community guidelines). Your need for social interaction is neither the responsibility nor the center of anyone else's gameplay. You need to remember that your needs come first only to you, so not everyone else is constantly considering your needs and wants because everyone else is focused on themselves.

 

One can certainly sympathize with your wish to have more social interaction, but the truth about that is that if you wish to interact more then the ball is in your court. Not everyone has the same drive for social interaction, and some people are even hesitant of messaging others for fear of being annoying. There's a wide variety of reasons why someone might not contact you, ranging from complete disinterest to general indifference.

 

Very wise words, but please note that in my message I intentionally used a lot of "maybe" just because I can't claim that I am necessarily right - I was just offering my perspective and I was trying to raise some questions for everyone to judge on their own and decide if they think there's any reason with them or not.

 

Also, I definitely do not consider that it's anyone's duty or obligation to care about my (or anyone's else) needs. It's just that there's some nice people that actually do care about other people needs and they might not really know what they could do to help and I was just trying to point out that sometime it can be something as simple as smiling, saying hi and asking how their day was.

 

Such simple and easy actions can make a huge difference in someone's else life and can make some people stick around much longer just because of that. I have a game that I've quit years ago, but which I still log on at least once per week, just to chat with friends from that game.

 

Again, that was just my perspective. Feel free to consider it or disregard it. Both are equally fine. I just thought is better to be left here in order to (maybe) raise a question or two, instead of being just another player that quit without anyone knowing why.

 

These being said and done, I think it's time to "quit the forums" too, so I will no longer read or replay to any (eventual) messages. Once again, best of luck to all of you both in game and in real life!

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10 minutes ago, Bloodreina said:

Also, I definitely do not consider that it's anyone's duty or obligation to care about my (or anyone's else) needs. It's just that there's some nice people that actually do care about other people needs and they might not really know what they could do to help and I was just trying to point out that sometime it can be something as simple as smiling, saying hi and asking how their day was.

 

[---]

 

These being said and done, I think it's time to "quit the forums" too, so I will no longer read or replay to any (eventual) messages. Once again, best of luck to all of you both in game and in real life!

 

Good luck to you too: I have a feeling you're going to have a hard time finding nice people.

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46 minutes ago, Bloodreina said:

 

While villages can definitely represent a social group, they're not exactly based on egalitarianism - there is a mayor who pretty much can call all the shots, being the sole owner of the results of the collective work of all villagers, who in turn have pretty much no rights. Hence why I didn't entertain the idea of joining a village, just to risk loosing all my hard work in the eventuality that I get in a conflict with the mayor or he simply goes AWOL.

 

In opposition, an alliance also represent a social group, but built on the egalitarianism system - people can still interact and work towards a common goal, but everyone still retains ownership over its own property and in case of a "break up" everyone gets to keep his or her things. Hence why I think (personal opinion) that alliances are a straight upgrade to villages and that was something that I really looked forward to since day one.

 

Now if you want to blame me for not wanting to join a village (where I would have had no control and no sense of ownership), feel free to do so, but I really didn't feel like turning in someone's else brick making slave.

 

Don't know why you have a notion that mayor's rule their villages with an iron thumb. 99% of the villages let you do whatever you want under the understanding that you don't mess with other villagers (stealing, killing their animals, interfering with their own projects, etc).

 

In my experience an alliance is no where near as social as a village is. Through the years I've played Wurm as long as someone is online in the village they have been willing to chat. Whereas with an alliance I could go days without anyone saying a single word.

 

If you're really afraid of getting booted from a village for no reason then why not recruit people to your own village?

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People you have to consider the fact that if she is an ASD person, and she definitely read like one, she will not understand social cues, and she understands things literally, plus her problems with other people and what you perceive as rude or silly, comes from the fact she intellectualizes things you perceive instinctively. We have very few mirror neurons - they let you to move around in the society and guess how you should act and what do other people will do or what they should do etc. While we can have a supreme theoretical knowledge about human behaviour and be very insightful about social situations and pick up things neurotypical people often miss, because they don't need to use reason to analyse social situations, we when it comes to something that is occurring in this very moment, and you have to act quickly - often fail to address it correctly. And this is very stressful, and we want to avoid stress by presenting avoiding behaviour what is often interpreted as huffish and mean. 

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@Platynaholy ######, do you have to mention this in every post?

I'm autistic as well, it's nobody's business.

I deal with it, i don't expect everyone around me to change their behavior to match mine or my expectations. I don't get offended on behalf of others. I try to read what the OP tries to convey instead of analyzing their motives and their childhood, on this post and any post that i read and i don't put a stamp on the OP because i "diagnosed" them with this or that.

As someone with similar disability, this is the first time i ever mentioned this. I work on it, i DON'T expect people around me to have a guilt trip because i was diagnosed and they are now meant to treat me differently.

 

@Bloodreina The reason why NF (and SF) servers Freedom chad is quiet is: people talk a lot in alliance chat. Join an alliance and you will have trouble keeping up with the chat. This happened on all servers. Freedom chat is mostly dead because people tend to only read the ally chat (as do i). Keep your deed, join an alliance, chat away, get an odd job from allies on occasion. You have won the game.

 

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Learn to make friends online(normally you have/had common goals), if you indeed had just that one plan to get paid in subscription game and play daily for 2 hours for free.. mmh something have gone terribly wrong in that thought process. (probably possible, nothing wrong, just really really.. uncommon)

 

You can always try epal.gg and get paid to play LoL/etc - carry or derank people on demand, but get paid for it, 'a lot more' for less time...

 

Better luck making friends in another game, you're always welcome to try wurm again in few months/year(s), burnout is normal.

bai

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@LocathI said what I said because I noticed people started to get salty to her, and Bloodreina mentioned she is an ASD person, so I tried to explain why she might act like this. The rest of what you wrote is completely unrelated to what I wrote. I didn't get offended, I have no idea what are you talking about. I do not expect anyone's behaviour to match my expectations or make guilt trips, I expect people to improve their knowledge and understanding (this is also what I do IRL, for example on my autism courses). You work on what? You developed a method to grow mirror neurons? 😉 The fact that you think autism is like a broken car door, that can and should be fixed doesn't mean other people think alike. You would be a lot happier if you stopped trying to adapt at any cost and accepted yourself more, and I know what I was talking about - I have hidden my ASD whole my life, came out in 2017, and said - enough is enough, let's talk about it, it is a topic like any other. We are here, there are many of us, please understand us instead getting salty. 

 

About Freedom chats being silent - on SFI Xanadu and Ind Freedom chats are not silent. It is MMORPG, we should encourage people to come out to each not just stick inside closed little groups. 

 

 

Edited by Platyna

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4 hours ago, Platyna said:

@Locath[---] The fact that you think autism is like a broken car door, that can and should be fixed doesn't mean other people think alike. You would be a lot happier if you stopped trying to adapt at any cost and accepted yourself more, and I know what I was talking about

 

 

This is absolutely not what he was saying, but rather projection of your own feelings towards how he handles himself. What he said was that he sees what people are saying and doing instead of what they are wanting or thinking. He literally said that he expects to be treated like everyone else: Not that he expects to bend over backwards to please others, which is what you seem to have somehow gotten out of it. That he is "working" on himself is no different to how other people are working on themselves, because everyone has things they need to work on in order to become better at this, that or the other.

 

And none of us were making fun of or reacting saltly to Bloodreina: We were simply pointing out that by not managing her expectations she is setting herself up for failure. You yourself seem to think that "adapting" is a way of compromising who you are, when in reality you can never be 100% your uncensored self and still expect to form meaningful relationships with others. Everyone makes compromises in order to get along better with those around you - Neurotypical and atypical people alike. If you were severly lactose intolerant and insisted on chugging a gallon of milk before entering a room I can guarantee that people would leave the room as soon as you started playing ye ol' butt harmonica, regardless of whether or not you inform people about your diagnosis.

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She plays on Melody, the least populated server on NFI. Yes, server chat is quiet. Not dead. There is a lot more chat on Harmony, or even Cadence.

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23 hours ago, Bloodreina said:

 

While villages can definitely represent a social group, they're not exactly based on egalitarianism - there is a mayor who pretty much can call all the shots, being the sole owner of the results of the collective work of all villagers, who in turn have pretty much no rights. Hence why I didn't entertain the idea of joining a village, just to risk loosing all my hard work in the eventuality that I get in a conflict with the mayor or he simply goes AWOL.

 

In opposition, an alliance also represent a social group, but built on the egalitarianism system - people can still interact and work towards a common goal, but everyone still retains ownership over its own property and in case of a "break up" everyone gets to keep his or her things. Hence why I think (personal opinion) that alliances are a straight upgrade to villages and that was something that I really looked forward to since day one.

 

Now if you want to blame me for not wanting to join a village (where I would have had no control and no sense of ownership), feel free to do so, but I really didn't feel like turning in someone's else brick making slave.


your ideas and fears of what being inside of a village would be like did not match up to the reality of what it is actually like.

if you were desperate enough for human interaction, you should have eventually just said "yeah ###### it" and joined a village anyways despite your fears- after all, what does it matter if your fears manifest if you were going to quit either ways?

also JSYK you can still own a house under your own permissions on a deed that the mayor can't mess with if you don't let them.

 

 

not gonna bother talking about this autism stuff. it's irrelevant and unneeded and only going to fuel flames; take it to wood scraps or whatever.

Edited by RainRain
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As the OP appears to have left, and this thread has turned into pointless argument, I'm locking it.

 

Pandalet (LFM)

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