Amata

so, about last night....

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Story Time! 

 

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people sometimes come up to me and say nice little compliments like, "oh you're such a nice person" or "Amata, you are so kind-hearted" .... and when this happens I always say basically the same thing. Thanks for the compliment, but honestly, no I'm not. I'm really, really not. 

 

If a person has taken time to compliment me because they think I've been nice, they generally laugh and think its false modesty or something. No, hahha, you really are very sweet. 

And I try to be honest as much as possible, so I will tell people that I am mean. I'm full of rage; I routinely despise every person in my immediate vicinity (myself included); I have a vicious streak, an embittered heart, and a sharp tongue - and, when I'm really on my game, I absolutely do not care about anyone.

 


I kinda hope that last night demonstrated to the disbelievers that I have been honestly trying to give fair warning. 

 

So, about last night.... 


Y'all, I know that I am cruel and a total venomous wreck on the inside. That is precisely why I work very, very hard, pretty much every second of my waking life, to pick the "kind" options. You see me being nice or selfless - that's like seeing a scatterbrain using a day planner. I know I suck at this, and I have decided in my life to actively put energy and time and practice into being better.

 

So last night, a whole lotta people on Indy got a front row seat to what I look like when I lose control. If it helps at all, it is just as distressing and harmful to me as it is to you. I was told as a schoolkid to "strive for excellence in all things" ... so, um, when I lose my ######, I usually lose it all in a spectacularly big manner. Anyway. Yeah, that was a thing that happened. 


We've all got personal problems and our own baggage to carry. And I'm sorry that I let my problems dump all over Indy last night. 

PS. oh, and, for mods who sent me PMs or used their color text on me, etc. ... I know that it is literally the job that mods have agreed to do. Sorry I made your jobs harder, and also, I know it isn't personal. 

PPS. don't know why this must be stated, but it is 2020 and here we are.... Those who serve not the people, but their own ends, are unfit for public service.

 

 

Edited by Pandalet
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I'm nice but I'm also an ###### :) 

I play the nice card because that's how I am but if you walk on the wrong side of the road I will hit you 🤷🏼‍♂️
 

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28 minutes ago, Thalorane said:

@Amata- Not the place for this.  Have a good day.

What's wrong with her explaining herself and apologizing? 

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20 hours ago, Kingsponge said:

What's wrong with her explaining herself and apologizing? 

 

Nothing is wrong with the explanation and apology.

 

This as a problem: "PPS. don't know why this must be stated, but it is 2020 and here we are.... Those who serve not the people, but their own ends, are unfit for public service. "

 

The Wurm forum is not the place for this.

 

I agree with the statement.  However, the accompanying commentary article reduces It into a polarizing statement that is posted solely for the purpose of expressing a political viewpoint and implying that anyone with an opposing viewpoint is wrong.

 

 

Edited by Pandalet
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3 hours ago, Thalorane said:

 

Nothing is wrong with the explanation and apology.

 

This as a problem: "PPS. don't know why this must be stated, but it is 2020 and here we are.... Those who serve not the people, but their own ends, are unfit for public service. "

 

The Wurm forum is not the place for this.

 

I agree with the statement.  However, the accompanying commentary article reduces It into a polarizing statement that is posted solely for the purpose of expressing a political viewpoint and implying that anyone with an opposing viewpoint is wrong.

 

The article author's assertion is based upon an assumption of ACB's personal thoughts and motivations.

Under the U.S. Constitution, the President is empowered to appoint nominees to fill vacancies in the U.S. Supreme Court.

Under the U.S. Constitution, the Senate is empowered to confirm these nominees.

 

All else is the destructive bicker, conflict, and hate that has usurped healthy debate and dialogue.

This thread should be closed.

 

This is kinda a funny situation here.... See, I spent the majority of my time in Wurm with this exact same approach. This isn't an appropriate time & place for discourse about IRL subject matter. This is a game! We come here to relax and drink mead with acquaintances. To obsess over breeding horses. And being the first to 100 skill something & get to pick the title... 

The current sociopolitical situation of the globe (and specifically America, where I happen to live) - IS polarizing. People have serious political views right now in time, and some of those views are not the "let's discuss and debate this" type; some of these political views are the "the paradigms that are the foundation for these views are mutually exclusive to the paradigm that is the foundation of your views. We have a problem that no amount of level-headed discourse will fix"

So, for most of my Wurm life I did not bring up politics. I did not mention my political views or the sociopolitical or economic structures I support. I would give selective, edited, information about myself & my life to my fellow Wurmians, and Indy-ans. 

And - as Ronal and Darwin and others can readily attest - I put a lot of energy into what you are doing with your comment... identifying elements that can cause interpersonal strife and player contributions that I believed would result in or encourage bickering and conflict rather than healthy dialogue and community-building. I put myself on the chat moderators' radar with my near-incessant requests to warn, mute, or block anyone persistently bringing up politics inside Wurm. I believed, as did (do?) many others that there was a rule somewhere in the game rules or chat rules specifically that restricted any political talk. 

 

As it turns out, I was mistaken. 

 

I discovered this during a bad patch, and in a pretty upsetting way ... and result did, in fact, go over the line from espousing sociopolitical views. Mixed in with my actual contributions to the actual political chat started and being led by others on kingdom chat, were personal insults and much venting of unrelated grievances, and not a small amount of swearing. That (not the political views) that was the part that chat moderators found inappropriate, and I did rightly receive a brightly colored warning. 

 

Quote

[23:30:12] <K----> i disagree
[23:30:15] <P------> I am pro topic change.
[23:30:24] <Amata> so yeah, I'm just getting active on my kingddom chat without breaking any rules just like anyone else
[23:30:29] <H-------> I just go with the flow
[23:30:30] <R----> GODZILLA 2020
[23:30:32] <Astarte> As long as is a civilised talk, but this one went too far

 

and 
 

Quote

[23:27:13] <Amata> yeah, but its not wrong to talk about politics in chat, so I'm just having a conversation with H------- here. and anyone elsewho wants to jump in
[23:27:24] <Amata> nothing that R---- and D----- haven't done themselves a million times
[23:27:28] <Amata> for hours and hours
[23:27:31] <Amata> all night in fact
[23:27:41] <Astarte> And I said topic change, and I count on you, ladies, to be understanding, before I put on coloured lines
[23:27:42] <Amata> about whatever topic they've decided it is that night
[23:28:07] <H-------> I LOVE COLORED LINES
[23:28:13] <H--------> bothof those guys get muted on the reglular, lol
[23:28:25] <Amata> you do that and I go straight to the forums to talk about how this sort of punishment never gets thrown down on R---- and D-----, but when 2 girls do it, suddenly it's a problem?
[23:28:28] <Amata> so go ahead
[23:28:31] <Amata> mute me

 

As you can see, per Astarte, the topic wasn't the problem. The fact that I was being utterly asinine was the offense... and then the fact that I was being petulant when given an instruction by a member of the Wurm staff. Those two elements ARE actually written in the rules. (And, also, the reason I really felt that I owed the whole server a frank, and really embarrassing, apology for that behavior).

 

Despite being a raving lunatic the other night, I actually really DO enjoy hearing other people's points of view. I generally do not automatically assume opposing view points are wrong. I love to learn new things, and understand what a not-me-person thinks and believes. Even if, at the end of the discussion, I have reaffirmed my original ideas, I enjoy the exposure to other, different ideas; I want people who disagree with me to please talk about it with me - I want to be forced to consider what I think I know. I like having to question and then find answers to those questions. In short, I adore discourse with individuals truly invested in discussion and critical thinking and integrity and respectful questioning. 

As for the pertinent parts of your response - while I'm glad that you agree with my personal statement, I am interested in a more extended discussion about your stance regarding the empowerment to do a thing versus the evaluation if that thing is actually the right thing to do at the time. If you'd be interested in elaborating your thought process and being part of such a chit-chat (which, since it was part of my OP makes current American politics germane to the topic of this forum thread, and therefore not against and forum rules). 

 

But, participation in forum topics is voluntary, so I'm not about to force anyone to read this, respond to this, or stick around to chat about this. The forum equivalent to /ignore perhaps? 

"The Wurm forum is not the place for this." ...? 
I honestly think that the Wurm forums are exactly the intended place for this. 

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4 hours ago, Amata said:

 

"The Wurm forum is not the place for this." ...? I honestly think that the Wurm forums are exactly the intended place for this. 

 

There are no shortages of venues for voicing a political viewpoint, and in my opinion a game forum is not the place for it.

 

I'm not going to read all the lengthy posts that followed.

 

It's clear to me that your apology and explanation was simply a means for you to justify posting a political commentary for the purpose of igniting an ongoing political thread.  I'm done legitimizing it.  Have a good day.

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This has gone 21 one ways to the same position at the opposite end.

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me: shows up excited to read new replies and think about them
also me: it seems like nobody here is interacting with what anyone else is saying. @everyoneabove: lol, wut?

 

QthNnqf.gif

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Politics,religion and sexual orientation will always bring discusion and sooner or later will start fights.its the way the world works.

Amata, you are a cool person, dont let others tell you what to do.

Platyna, you are a cool person aswell, dificult to understand for many, but once they know you better you are alright, just let others get under that thorn shell of yours.

 

Thatlorane, you should stop judgeing people after the cover, also not everyone can rise up to your supreme highness standards🙂

 

That beeing said, good day everyone!

Your trully annoying helpfull village idiot, Zarame

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@Platyna... there was a lot packed into your most recent response, and it is going to take me some time to unpack it all. There was something that kinda felt "off" throughout the reply that I couldn't quite understand... but I think that right now the only question I want to ask is - 

 

Is it possible that you consider a major difference between the two of us to be that you are neurodivergent, while I am just a douchebag NT who claims to be neurodivergent to get a free pass for bad behavior? 

 

I'll sleep on the rest & re-read the reply in the morning, to consider it over a fresh cup of tea & a non-drowsy head. 

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7 minutes ago, Zarame said:

Politics,religion and sexual orientation will always bring discusion and sooner or later will start fights.its the way the world works.

Amata, you are a cool person, dont let others tell you what to do.

Platyna, you are a cool person aswell, dificult to understand for many, but once they know you better you are alright, just let others get under that thorn shell of yours.

 

Thatlorane, you should stop judgeing people after the cover, also not everyone can rise up to your supreme highness standards🙂

 

That beeing said, good day everyone!

Your trully annoying helpfull village idiot, Zarame

 

Thanks Zarame - I'll admit, you're one of my "forum faves." Always interesting to see what your perspective is! 

 

As for the "will always bring discussion & [eventually] fights...." ... alas, you probably know by now that I'm a touchy-feely hippy-dippy moon child. As such, it is my obligation to inform you that "it doesn't have to be the way the world works!" and also that "hope springs eternal! Some day a group of people will have a calm and also thoroughly engaging discourse on a sensitive topic that doesn't inevitably lead to fighting!"

 

Imagine me like Sailor Moon striking a ridiculous pose - "And I want to help make that day a reality!" (with the power of Love! and Friendship!)

 

sailor-moon.jpg 

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This is not the place to discuss politics.  Please don't.

 

Pandalet (LFM)

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It never bothers me the discusions about politics,religion or what the color or seryll is.or whatever football team won the championship.nor do i join any discusions about unless its to troll😋

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I am extreme night owl, and I am often alone at night with our Americans, all three kinds of them: Democrats, Republicans and Notcarers, plus Ind, especially SE Ind is a drama state (the best perimeter wars in Wurm! Must see!), so I was a [partially] independent observer witnessing all the bickering between people whom I mostly I really like. This post of Amata actually helped to clear a lot of bad blood stored in the Freedom chat for weeks between several people (especially those in favour of the current US president and those who are not), and we had a very civilized discussion I think we all enjoyed. The fact we could discuss sources of morality and US history without blood shed shows we are quite good community. Let's face it, this area is populated by many people including these who are not entirely "normal" and dramas will happen. Not to mention several people cleared up their ignore lists. 😉 

 

@AmataI understand and enjoy neurodiversity, but we all have to control themselves if possible. There is a lot of things ASD tells me to do and I don't do them. 

Edited by Platyna
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Who in their own mind play wurm for 10 years and call himself normal?🤣

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3 hours ago, Platyna said:

This post of Amata actually helped to clear a lot of bad blood stored in the Freedom chat for weeks between several people (especially those in favour of the current US president and those who are not), and we had a very civilized discussion I think we all enjoyed.

 

I loved, loved, loved that conversation! I really hope everyone had as much fun and got as much happy in their brain chemicals as I did for that interaction. 

 

 

3 hours ago, Platyna said:

@AmataI understand and enjoy neurodiversity, but we all have to control themselves if possible. There is a lot of things ASD tells me to do and I don't do them. 

 

I agree.... but I am sure you know that even with the best precautions, and adherence to a strident routine of medications and therapy, and an embarrassing number of doctors, social workers, support networks, friends, and family.... Even with all that - sometimes a breakdown can happen. 

 

I don't feel as though I'm asking for a pass - so much as asking that people not judge me too harshly for seeing me at my worst. 

 

 

11 hours ago, Pandalet said:

This is not the place to discuss politics.  Please don't.

 

Pandalet (LFM)

 

Per game rules to follow all Wurm staff instructions, the aspects of this forum post that were political in nature have been removed 

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Oh sugarplums, y'all  😓😓

I just realized that in the modifications, one of my replies to Platyna was removed - and it actually included a couple of sections that I intended to come back and copy into my journal. Bummer. I don't suppose anyone happens to have a history that has a copy of the pre-modification posts they can PM me? 

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On 10/25/2020 at 12:13 PM, Zarame said:

Who in their own mind play wurm for 10 years and call himself normal?🤣

 

Me.... 😉

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6 hours ago, HughMongus said:

 

Me.... 😉

You are normal in your mind only

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On 10/25/2020 at 4:33 PM, Amata said:

Oh sugarplums, y'all  😓😓

I just realized that in the modifications, one of my replies to Platyna was removed - and it actually included a couple of sections that I intended to come back and copy into my journal. Bummer. I don't suppose anyone happens to have a history that has a copy of the pre-modification posts they can PM me? 

 

If you keep a journal of your internet arguments, you have some deep-rooted issues that need to be resolved.

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On 11/15/2020 at 12:22 PM, Beanbag said:

If you keep a journal of your internet arguments, you have some deep-rooted issues that need to be resolved.

 

Oh hai Beanbag! 

LOL good joke 🤣

 

just in case it needs to be stated: I don't keep a journal of my internet arguments. I simply keep a journal

 

And, by the way, I have internet discourse when I am engaged and pleased and think highly of the people in the community. I have internet arguments when I've lost control of my emotions, typically when I have felt pushed over a boundary that I clearly asked multiple times for others to back away from.

 

To date, I have had one 'argument' here in the Wurm community. It was a result of ongoing chat from someone who recently acknowledge that he had, in fact, been trolling. 

 

To be fair, however, I don't honestly expect others unfamiliar with me IRL to be able to tell the difference -- there are times when my wife and I are enjoying a thoroughly engaging discussion, and even our parents and siblings start to wonder if we are actually having an argument. (we're not; we just geek out with the intensity of a supernova) It is usually only our IRL long-time friends who both can recognize and can engage comfortably with our "all-in" way of communicating. 

For Beanbag - and for the Wurm community in general - if the way that I'm delving into a topic or discussion is crossing your boundaries, or otherwise making you uncomfortable, please go ahead and just tell me that straight-forward. I will do what I can to pull back and/or adjust my manner to be less overwhelming / uncomfortable / off-the-deep-end, etc. 💜

 

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