Things tower guards should really be saying(instead of default lines)

[wipeout 1,355]

Ill start it off with a nicely themed line for our current times

Sorry we cant help you due to quarantine rules all our tower guards are currently not allowed to come within 2 tiles of any player sorry for the inconvenience and we hope your death is mostly painless.

[Snowmantis 36]

Begone with you peasant!  Can't you see I'm busy.

 

[Wargasm 1,927]

"You can't handle a hell horse by yourself?  You do know which way the pointy end of your sword goes, right?"

[solmark 544]

I am not going to assist you until you type "Help" or "Guards!" no matter how injured you are

[TheTrickster 2,284]

Ar-Are you alright? No, no of course you're not alright!

 

When are they gonna bring me my dinner, that's what I wanna know, when are they gonna bring me my dinner?

 

Anything by Benny from Thief, really.

[Wilczan 2,048]

Only one true tower guard quote:

 

“I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee.”

[TheTrickster 2,284]

11 hours ago, Wilczan said:

Only one true tower guard quote:

 

“I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee.”

 

For sure it should be in the mix, but there were better, earlier guards quotes.

 

" Woah! Killer bears! Would've liked ta see that" - (would even be in-game appropriate.)

 

"What was that? Sounded like a, a sound of some kind."

 

"Oh. Hiding are we? This isn't a game you know!"

 

 

[Retrograde 12,013]

I'm sorry adventurer, but your guard is in another tower

[TheTrickster 2,284]

Excuse me, I have to run very quickly over there for no obvious reason.

[spellcast 983]

"where did you get a coconut?"

 

[Oblivionnreaver 5,174]

my name jeff

[TheTrickster 2,284]

Where IS that duck?

[ChampagneDragon 971]

If you want help you will need to give me something, either coins or booze. You pick.

 

My this is my union negotiated break, too bad.

 

Sorry, we're on strike today.

 

Today doesn't work for me. How about you come back tomorrow?

 

 

[Nomadikhan 2,196]

Next time you won't build my tower so close to a mine, now will ya?

[Beanbag 239]

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elder berries!"

[Dragonelle 25]

“Oh a mine! I just HAVE to see whats inside...”

 

 

[Mclavin 3,704]

Just karma

[TheTrickster 2,284]

13 hours ago, Beanbag said:

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elder berries!"

 

To the other guards "I told them we already have one!"