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Johnston3

Wurm Hobbyist's Depression Thread

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Do any of my fellow Wurmians here have depression?  I ask because having someone in the same situation to relate to tends to be the best talking therapy.

Personally I have been diagnosed with what they used to call dysthymia and now call persistent depression disorder.  I've been dealing with it for about 8 years and it particularly gets bad at night.  If any of you folks who share the same hobby need someone to relate to I am a pretty good listener.  I would not mind having somebody in the same situation to talk to.


Comedy tends to be something that helps me cope.
 

 

Edited by Johnston3
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play classic on the 26th and all the depression will cease.

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Former member of said depressive society. Am no longer, which I am eternally thankful for.

I've actually suspected such to be your case from even my limited interactions with you, Johnston. Sorry to hear that you still battle with it - I'm sure there are those here who would offer their support if you ever needed it, myself included.

 

I don't typically share my personal experiences via internet.. I find it to be in bad taste and generally unappealing to the vast majority of people whom are simply there to have fun.

That said Wurm has one of the few communities where people generally associate with one another on a deeply personal level, one of the many things that sets Wurm's community apart from the others is the deep level of caring and kindness that can be found where it is least expected. (Or at least, that's how it used to be)

 

I'll make it as brief as possible, though an experience such as this is quite difficult to summarize;

 

I was diagnosed as a Cataplexic with Manic Depressive Disorder around age 13, roughly 3 or 4 years before I found Wurm - I've been put on many different regimens of pills to try to lessen or contain the symptoms of the mood disorder, not a one of which ever helped more than it hurt.

Sleep is the most troublesome for me, as I deal with extremely vivid and sometimes graphic hallucinations of reality while in a half-sleep state of wakeness, while unable to move my extremities or call out for help.

 

Just two years ago, I managed to cure myself of the depression, completely, entirely, and unexpectedly. I won't go too far into detail as to what it was that made this happen, as you'd need to delve into the science and research of psychoactive hallucinogenic substances, and what works for one person WILL NOT work for just anyone. For those reasons alone it's quite rare that I even get to talk about it, and I do so now with the understanding that this post will probably get deleted anyways. I'm not making a recommendation here whatsoever, as something like that could spell your end if you're particularly prone to being unstable. But depression is something that doctors can not, or will not, help you permanently cure - And mostly for reasons of monetary gain. The reward, in that sense, from this kind of experimentation can quite literally be your freedom if done correctly and under the right conditions.

 

It helped me to explore my own mind and make peace with the failures and inadequacies I for so long lamented over. It allowed me to see past the curtain or veil of darkness that once shadowed even the most beautiful of sights. I will never forget the feeling of purpose and everlasting worth I was endowed with on that day. It was as if I had lived my whole life in a black and white movie, only to be suddenly thrust into this beautiful world of vibrant color, purpose, and majesty - All of which made it just so worth being here that I've never once looked back.

 

Do not ever lose hope. Maybe today is bad, but tomorrow doesn't have to be. There are always steps you can take to make tomorrow better. Sometimes it's merely a matter of finding the steps, and amassing the sheer willpower to take them.

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I know man.

 

You take care of yourself ❤️

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sorry to hear... schizo-effective disorder here

 

why I am always going off like a wing nut

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11 hours ago, whereami said:

Former member of said depressive society. Am no longer, which I am eternally thankful for.

I've actually suspected such to be your case from even my limited interactions with you, Johnston. Sorry to hear that you still battle with it - I'm sure there are those here who would offer their support if you ever needed it, myself included.

 

I don't typically share my personal experiences via internet.. I find it to be in bad taste and generally unappealing to the vast majority of people whom are simply there to have fun.

That said Wurm has one of the few communities where people generally associate with one another on a deeply personal level, one of the many things that sets Wurm's community apart from the others is the deep level of caring and kindness that can be found where it is least expected. (Or at least, that's how it used to be)

 

I'll make it as brief as possible, though an experience such as this is quite difficult to summarize;

 

I was diagnosed as a Cataplexic with Manic Depressive Disorder around age 13, roughly 3 or 4 years before I found Wurm - I've been put on many different regimens of pills to try to lessen or contain the symptoms of the mood disorder, not a one of which ever helped more than it hurt.

Sleep is the most troublesome for me, as I deal with extremely vivid and sometimes graphic hallucinations of reality while in a half-sleep state of wakeness, while unable to move my extremities or call out for help.

 

Just two years ago, I managed to cure myself of the depression, completely, entirely, and unexpectedly. I won't go too far into detail as to what it was that made this happen, as you'd need to delve into the science and research of psychoactive hallucinogenic substances, and what works for one person WILL NOT work for just anyone. For those reasons alone it's quite rare that I even get to talk about it, and I do so now with the understanding that this post will probably get deleted anyways. I'm not making a recommendation here whatsoever, as something like that could spell your end if you're particularly prone to being unstable. But depression is something that doctors can not, or will not, help you permanently cure - And mostly for reasons of monetary gain. The reward, in that sense, from this kind of experimentation can quite literally be your freedom if done correctly and under the right conditions.

 

It helped me to explore my own mind and make peace with the failures and inadequacies I for so long lamented over. It allowed me to see past the curtain or veil of darkness that once shadowed even the most beautiful of sights. I will never forget the feeling of purpose and everlasting worth I was endowed with on that day. It was as if I had lived my whole life in a black and white movie, only to be suddenly thrust into this beautiful world of vibrant color, purpose, and majesty - All of which made it just so worth being here that I've never once looked back.

 

Do not ever lose hope. Maybe today is bad, but tomorrow doesn't have to be. There are always steps you can take to make tomorrow better. Sometimes it's merely a matter of finding the steps, and amassing the sheer willpower to take them.

I'm looking to get a script for Spravato/Esketamine which is a trial drug that got approved by the FDA in May of this year.  Abilify, prozac, lexapro, zoloft, and all of that stuff will absolutely not help the sense of being undervalued in a mundane society, but I am very convinced that this newly available (and otherwise illicit) drug will be a godsend for what I am dealing with.

I've been diagnosed with bipolar, schizoaffective, asbergers, anxiety, ocd, depression, and there is probably a couple that I don't remember.  What best describes my situation upon personal reflection though, is persistent depressive disorder.  I firmly believe that the inconsistency is a sign that these professionals have absolutely no idea what my situation is.

The medicinal and absolutely utilitarian psychedelics (which are medicinally available and legal in some countries so mods please do not wag your finger at me) you mention are something I've dabbled with and they help IMMENSELY in the short and long term, but what I deal with isn't really something that can be dealt with in a sesh.  I've talked to you a couple times ingame and wouldn't mind having someone in wurm to discuss this with.

Snobby PHD and out of touch psychiatrists are the worst people I've ever dealt with.  Therapists are not that great either.  A social worker though has once pointed out to me that a good support network helps a lot, and if anyone wants to network over their problems in private I am a pretty good and empathetic listener.  The support network of good people who you can work through your problems with is the best advice I've ever gotten and if anyone wants to network in private I am all ears.

Edited by Johnston3

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