Niki

Major issue with rude people

Recommended Posts

Have you ever said hello or o/ to another person in this game and be in a situation where that person doesn't acknowledge you? Maybe you pass them again later and do a o/ but still nothing? At this point you know they're doing actions like digging and building cause you can see event tab. Maybe you write it off and think "they must just not have local opened" or something. Later that day you 'really' want to complement them still and think "Why don't I just use the forums?" So you write a nice private message to them say what a nice deed they have. Months go by and never respond to your forum pm nor have they even viewed it in their inbox, it's 'not read yet.' You eventually just think well maybe they got sick in real life and are unable to sit at a PC and write a simple "Thanks" reply back to you. However you notice that's not the case as they are posting on forums and stuff still.

05d22c4b0f56b8e6f1dd8e02211666b2.png

If you're like me you check your logs and see if you did anything wrong to upset them, you found out you sold them something back in 2014 but the trade looks like it went well and they were happy. Confused you just ignore it and move on with life.

 

One day your passing that deed again and it looks even better than before! You quickly remember that they kind of ignored you last time but you being a nice person decide to o/ and see if anything happens. Nothing. At this point you check on that private message you sent and it's still unread.

 

Where am I getting with this true story?  My question to people of Wurm, why do you do this? Everyone is always saying this is a good community but stuff like this really questions it. This scenario happens a lot more than you think. I have several friends who've also encountered this also. Most people don't o/ anymore or o/ back like they used to. The community is why I started and kept playing this game all these years, and it being near the holidays it would be nice if people could be more nice to each other. I really sense a extreme lack of it in general lately and it's extremely disheartening.

 

 

Please share your stories, and keep drama to a minimum, don't use player names also. Thoughts on how to fix this? Can it be fixed? Let us know!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I will always answer to a 'hello .....' as it is polite to do so and I enjoy meeting fellow players in-game..

 

I answer to symbols less easily as I am not sure if it is fro me or someone else in their local whom I cannot 'see'. To me it would be like interrupting a private conversation.

 

So, my suggestion would be to use text and name the person that you wish to talk to, congratulate or even moan about rather than symbols so that older people like me do not get confused!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 minutes ago, Joelle said:

Maybe they’re shy.

Maybe, it is happening a lot with a lot of different people. It's not just me either.

 

5 minutes ago, Spolmit said:

I will always answer to a 'hello .....' as it is polite to do so and I enjoy meeting fellow players in-game..

 

I answer to symbols less easily as I am not sure if it is fro me or someone else in their local whom I cannot 'see'. To me it would be like interrupting a private conversation.

 

So, my suggestion would be to use text and name the person that you wish to talk to, congratulate or even moan about rather than symbols so that older people like me do not get confused!

I normally do, I was covering my bases. When I first started playing this game I had no idea what o/ meant and I'm not even old. It's a popular gesture in this game.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sometimes i've had people talk in local as they sail past that i've accidentally ignored (tabbed out or different chat open at the time) but i've never ignored a forum message. I do get ya though, the amount of times i've talked to people and just get blanked has me questioning how many ignore lists i'm on (local, gl chat, freedom, even trade)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Unfortunately, the community has many toxic folks, who like nothing more than to stir poop.  I generally don't talk to people I don't have at least some connection with (e.g. having actually seen around a lot), as it's easier.  Just because someone chooses not to respond to you, doesn't mean it's a problem - some folks just prefer not to.

 

Also, the 'not read yet' forum PM thing is misleading at best, and plain wrong a lot of the time.  You can easily have read the message, but still see that.  Don't take it as gospel.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Can confirm, if you get ignored they won't see your messages.  But even if you message in chats they, the ignored can still read the messages you write ( just not the opposite). Very odd imo.

Edited by totties
Grammar

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i think i have been ignored a few times cuz this happens to me also LOL

 

EDIT But as I am usually raging  and selling out and coming back later and aquireing a new used toon I am never sure if its me or the old user ignored....

Edited by LumpyGravy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, LumpyGravy said:

i think i have been ignored a few times cuz this happens to me also LOL

 

EDIT But as I am usually raging  and selling out and coming back later and aquireing a new used toon I am never sure if its me or the old user ignored....

It is a serious issue indeed.

 

How do you make people want to be friendly? It's sadly problematic issue to tackle I guess. It does lower the experience of the game sometimes and makes me feel like this is a single player game when I'm on freedom. When I'm on chaos, even the enemy say's hello.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am not sure how the forums "Ignore User" works but it is possible it simply blocks incoming messages from that person, who only see it as "still unread" on their end. IE, they never knew you messaged them.  It's always possible once upon a time, maybe even years and years ago, you said something in forum posts that they disliked and set you to ignore. I have occasionally had people rather blatantly ignore something I said in a forum post, and rather assumed that I have made a number of ingame+forum "Ignore" lists myself. 

 

For some, it might seem a lot less "toxic" than if they actually said exactly what they thought. I know most people claim to admire candid honesty, but that often is not as true as they like to think. "Candid honesty" has ended forever many a longtime friendship.

 

Biting one's tongue (ie, saying nothing rather than something confrontational) is actually the epitome of courtesy in some circles, and we won't all have the same value system. Best response is just to shrug it off and not think about it any longer. You might have been set to ignore for something long long ago (ingame plus inforum) and they never even remember doing it now. 

 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Brash_Endeavors said:

I am not sure how the forums "Ignore User" works but it is possible it simply blocks incoming messages from that person, who only see it as "still unread" on their end. IE, they never knew you messaged them.  It's always possible once upon a time, maybe even years and years ago, you said something in forum posts that they disliked and set you to ignore. I have occasionally had people rather blatantly ignore something I said in a forum post, and rather assumed that I have made a number of ingame+forum "Ignore" lists myself. 

 

For some, it might seem a lot less "toxic" than if they actually said exactly what they thought. I know most people claim to admire candid honesty, but that often is not as true as they like to think. "Candid honesty" has ended forever many a longtime friendship.

 

Biting one's tongue (ie, saying nothing rather than something confrontational) is actually the epitome of courtesy in some circles, and we won't all have the same value system. Best response is just to shrug it off and not think about it any longer. You might have been set to ignore for something long long ago (ingame plus inforum) and they never even remember doing it now. 

 

Maybe, it's very odd but possible I guess. Maybe they were tired of me asking about chicken coops or something.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, Niki said:

How do you make people want to be friendly? 

 

 

Some people come to wurm to literally escape people. I myself live in a large house with a large number of people, and Wurm is rather my "alone time", so i have many times I very much do not want to speak to ANYONE, and do not want ANYONE to speak to me. That means I will sometimes talk in forums or global chat, but duck out of personal conversations that I really do not want to start. "Impersonal" social arenas like forums and global chat, allow me to pick and choose when I want to participate, so they are much easier for me. Some people have social awkwardness issues (and I have some extreme ones) that make me look downright gregarious. If you really want to be kind, let these people be and do not try to force them into relationships.

 

You can never MAKE people want to be friendly. Although it is complicated, it does not always mean they are not friendly -- the small number of people they allow into their circle may consider them the absolute warmiest, friendliest, kindest person they have ever met on the planet.

 

Edited by Brash_Endeavors

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i never say Hello, or \o back if i don't know them. If thy take that personly i don't care. It's just who i am. The ppl i learn to know is moust of time tru alliances.

Edited by Aonime

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm usually so focused on what i'm doing that I only notice 45 minutes later after they're gone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sounds more like a personal issue on your end. Get over it

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

puh... not sure if rude.. has not happened to me yet, people being people I guess and some have made good points here as to why it is as it is.

 

I always wave back or say hello if I do notice it.. sometimes I tend to play besides work so I can miss things. :(

 

But while you point out the great community, sure I do witness people being helpfull and all - I have helped out people when I was in a position to in the past as well - but personally I do feel pretty lonely.

The community is so small that its really hard to make acquaintances or friends even, I guess this mainly happens in PVP as people there seem to me way more tight knit (which is cool).

On Freedom, me being on Xanadu I hardly witness anyone in lokal... for sure not while I was living in the south and now that I moved to the north its pretty empty too - but thats Xanadu.

 

In every other MMO I played I was in a good guild, we had voice coms so people could hang out or even play other games together or just chat... but in Wurm it seems (to me) super hard to find a group, let alone a good one.

The last alliance I was a part of was basically a dead chat. 😕

 

Trying to get involved into GL or Freedom chats here and there but yea... not quite the same, specially when I look back at EverQuest, Vanguard or WoW.

So I guess I ended up being the involuntary hermit that only talks to animals and the mobs that run into my sword. ^_^

Yet I do really love Wurm a lot that even as this situation is for me, I do enjoy the game... it's one of the few games I played for years+.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some people never use local, or even look at it.

 

I always ignore niki too.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Milkdrop said:

puh... not sure if rude.. has not happened to me yet, people being people I guess and some have made good points here as to why it is as it is.

 

I always wave back or say hello if I do notice it.. sometimes I tend to play besides work so I can miss things. :(

 

But while you point out the great community, sure I do witness people being helpfull and all - I have helped out people when I was in a position to in the past as well - but personally I do feel pretty lonely.

The community is so small that its really hard to make acquaintances or friends even, I guess this mainly happens in PVP as people there seem to me way more tight knit (which is cool).

On Freedom, me being on Xanadu I hardly witness anyone in lokal... for sure not while I was living in the south and now that I moved to the north its pretty empty too - but thats Xanadu.

 

In every other MMO I played I was in a good guild, we had voice coms so people could hang out or even play other games together or just chat... but in Wurm it seems (to me) super hard to find a group, let alone a good one.

The last alliance I was a part of was basically a dead chat. 😕

 

Trying to get involved into GL or Freedom chats here and there but yea... not quite the same, specially when I look back at EverQuest, Vanguard or WoW.

So I guess I ended up being the involuntary hermit that only talks to animals and the mobs that run into my sword. ^_^

Yet I do really love Wurm a lot that even as this situation is for me, I do enjoy the game... it's one of the few games I played for years+.

Yeah it's mostly a freedom issue for sure.

 

1 hour ago, JakeRivers said:

I always ignore niki too.

Yeah well Jake, I'm afraid there is no pleasing you. I'm certain you're the most grumpiest person in wurm. 🙄

Edited by Niki

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some people are just introverts and prefer to stick to themselves. I wouldn't consider that rude.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Budzilla said:

Some people are just introverts and prefer to stick to themselves. I wouldn't consider that rude.

Fair I guess, but would you really not respond if someone said your deed was pretty? Why not just say thanks and everyone is happy?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I play a lot on my TV from my couch.  When I do, the text is very tiny and hard to read, so I often don't bother reading text, just play.

 

This can cause me to appear to be ignoring people.  I don't do it on purpose but it can really look that way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, Koreal said:

I play a lot on my TV from my couch.  When I do, the text is very tiny and hard to read, so I often don't bother reading text, just play.

 

This can cause me to appear to be ignoring people.  I don't do it on purpose but it can really look that way.

Interesting, thank you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some people just don't like small talk, and aren't interested in being forced into it to not appear rude on the internet.  I do things for my alliance members for free and turn down payments, I imagine stuff like that is what makes a good community, not "waving" to everyone in local that passed you

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe they dont like the things you say about people and as Brash said, "if you have nothing nice to say dont say anything at all" is their prefered response.

Edited by SmeJack

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.