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Kegan

RIP - Is it offensive?

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I was watching a YouTube video tonight where someone was talking about someone that had passed way. The thing that got to me about this video was the comment section and is why i am posting this... 


 


Do you think that commenting/posting in a public setting RIP (name) to be offensive at all? I kind of do.


It just makes me cringe when i see that. If you care enough to comment at all then at least spend the time to write out a thoughtful and caring message. I mean they don't even take the time out to writ the whole thing just RIP (persons name)... idk


 


What do you think? 


Edited by Kegan

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RIP is a thoughtful message, it means you want the person to reast in peace


Edit: It's actually very common to write on tombstones as well, and I don't think people would spend hundreds of dollars on a stone if they didn't believe in what it said


Edited by Aeris
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I don't think it's necessarily offensive, even if it's just a short message. I see it as a way to send condolences to someone, or people, even if you don't know much, if anything at all about the deceased person.


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I don't think it is offensive, just less meaningful than writing the entire thing. 


 


In response to Aeris' comment, I think that people who write a YouTube comment take 1 second to type RIP. People who write RIP on a tombstone and engrave it, spend hugely more time on it so that one doesn't really count.


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Mmm personally it depends. Good or bad comments can relate to a memory, and something short and simple may be all the commenter can come up with that's remotely nice.

Sure the person that died (most likely) isn't going to care. Such things are more for those remaining, and if someone advertises it publically then they are opening themselves to all kinds of comments. Be prepared.

Still no shortage of s in the world.

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I guess if you don't really know the person then i can see maybe but just don't say anything i would think might be a better way or something like sorry for your loss..idk


 


I hate to deal with things like that in the first place but it is part of life i guess.  


Edited by Kegan

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R.I.H would be more offensive, R.I.P is common no offence there


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RIP is pretty common, I don't think people mean it to offend. I'm not to crazy about Xmas though for some reason.


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There often isn't a lot one can say in the case of a death sometimes. Outsiders cannot get close to the grief the closest feel, so sometimes "RIP" can let them know that your thoughts are there, without tripping over well meant, but clumsy condolences. I guess it's fairly safe, and well accepted.


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I dont get offended, but I do get confused when people write R.I.P in peace.


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I would go with slightly offensive. Its like, you took the VERY minimum effort. Sometimes that can be worse than nothing.


 


 


"My condolences. If you need someone to talk to I am here."  ~~~ still only took about 10 seconds, 10000x more meaning


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I think it really, as with many things comes down to context.


 


I can't say I've personally ever seen someone write "R.I.P." and thought to myself "Oh boy that's offensive". I however have gone to express my condolences at an online acquaintance's death, not that long ago and found myself writing R.I.P. However I just...dunno found it too hollow of an expression to use even for someone I didn't know particularly well. 


 


So ya, my thoughts. 


Edited by Emoo

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I guess maybe it is not so much offensive but more insensitive to me...  I guess after reflection on it maybe it is not as bad as i had thought but i can not see myself ever using it either.  


 


Lets just hope none of us have to be in that situation anytime soon :)


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I think this discussion came up partly due to gaming.  In games, RIP is a sometimes warning that the enemy is about to kill you.  This takes from it's original purpose in conveying condolences.  Add to that the common abbreviations used in chats and the message becomes reduced.  In other words, RIP has become a cliche phrase.


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Wouldn't say I find it offensive, but I'll agree with the others that say its quite lackluster and without much meaning. Worse when its from people who don't have anything to say, but feel they must just join in with the crowd. "You will be missed", "Rest in peace", "Will always have fond memories..." all hardly any longer to type and much nicer.


 


Given that it was on YouTube (or could apply to many other places too) it is fairly bland, and perhaps just 'liking' the video memory might have been a nicer sentiment than commenting purely for the sake of it. If you don't even know (or know of) the deceased, then why comment at all. It almost reminds me of the saying "It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought an idiot, than to open it and remove all doubt".


 


"First comment! Woot!!!!!.. oh yeah and RIP {name}" - I would certainly consider offensive though!

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That's why I say "RIP in peace"


 


To make sure people know my views on the matter.


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That's why I say "RIP in peace"

 

To make sure people know my views on the matter.

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Yes.

Why have them only rest in peace when they can rest in peace in peace?

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As Aeris said, we have a very old military cemetery here and they have tiny markers for the thousands who died (US Civil War) and many of them say R.I.P. in an arc on the top and just the soldier's name under. A lot of them aren't even the full name if they had a long name. Pvt. A. Smith because Alexander just won't fit on the tiny markers. 


 


That being said, if you have room to write Rest In Peace, maybe it could be rude to shortcut it. In the case I see it most often, there was little choice. They had a lot of dead and very little room. I wouldn't be surprised if they are not laid out over an area of mass graves to be honest. That or they buried them in a standing up arrangement.


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I think "RIP <name>" has little depth but still respectfully acknowledges the death.

I think it's a bit like when it's someone's birthday, you can write "Congratulations" or "I hope you'll have a good 50th birthday, you grandpa!". One is very generic, but it works for many situations. The other is a bit more personal. If it's your dad's birthday, it's not really nice to just say "congratulations" and move on.

In the same way, you could write "RIP <name>" to someone you kinda know, but you're going to want to write something a bit more than that if it's someone you really cared about.

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I think "RIP <name>" has little depth but still respectfully acknowledges the death.

I think it's a bit like when it's someone's birthday, you can write "Congratulations" or "I hope you'll have a good 50th birthday, you grandpa!". One is very generic, but it works for many situations. The other is a bit more personal. If it's your dad's birthday, it's not really nice to just say "congratulations" and move on.

In the same way, you could write "RIP <name>" to someone you kinda know, but you're going to want to write something a bit more than that if it's someone you really cared about.

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Yes.

Why have them only rest in peace when they can rest in peace in peace?

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Honestly, if someone close to me passed and some random said some "thoughtful" long message as if they knew the person, that would 'offend' me more than something short to show they understand what happened and know it affected you.  It's like they don't know the person until they're gone, like all these people that run after music/movies of famous people that died and now suddenly love them

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That's why I say "RIP in peace"

 

 

Yikes, don't say it that way, that's like saying "for all intensive purposes."

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Yikes, don't say it that way, that's like saying "for all intensive purposes."

 

I'm sure he'll get back to you as ASAP as possible.  ;)

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