I wanna hear your derp moments! (Raffle giveaway)

[bdew 2,462]

Sailing with autorun and falling asleep on the keyboard. Wake up with QWERTY marks on my face, my character running into a cliff face with no water or boat anywhere in sight.

 

Fighting things with my armor in my backpack, repeatedly. Once took a part in a dragon kill while not having armor on because i forgot it in my boat.

 

Enchanting trees by mistake back when they couldn't be removed in any sane way.

 

Auto running off various cliffs to my death.

 

Walling myself in with inner walls with nothing to bash with on me.

 

Back when exodus opened, went exploring, climbed a mountain, decided to meditate... Combat window fires up, i look around for what's attacking me HOLY CRAP RED DRAGON. Noped out of there as fast as i could, with the dragon after me... Ended up falling from said mountain into water half dead, swam around to find land i can stand on, drowned for a bit but got to a shore - and was promptly finished off by a pack of wolves.

Edited March 12, 2015 by bdew

[KryoKitten 71]

While hunting on Release I accidentally killed my 5x horse not paying attention. I was really sad, Chaserbouncer was a great name! Then I grab another horse, and forgot to unequip my weapon, once again not paying attention I killed it while taming it. I wasn't allowed to have a non grey horse for a while after that

[Marshlander 188]

I paid this neighbour across the bay a first friendly visit - we'd bumped into each other before and I knew he was a great guy from one of alliance members - and took a tour of his deed. Being the mountain goat I am, I asked about the mountain at the back of his deed. That one had a slowly sloping ridge on his side of the mountain that he used to sometimes travel up there for a great view of all of the area. He noticed my interest and was willing to extend the tour to include a trip up the mountain. The climb was really very moderate until the very end just below the summit... we both were in our everyday gear, good armour, weapons, tools and not really equipped for climbing. With the already spectacular views I lost sight of my host, thinking he was already above me. I also lost sight of my stamina bar, as I found myself bouncing down the side of the ridge right thereafter. From the chat I could read while falling that my host had followed into this predicament almost simultaneously.

 

We both ended up dead, I had to sail over to his deed again in one of my other boats, and we went on an expedition to retrieve our corpses. From the bottom of the mountain it was impossible to see them. So up we went again... this time we had for some reason to fight off goblins and an anaconda that hadn't shown themselves before just in light spare gear. Luckily we could actually see and in the end reach our corpses from the mountain's shoulder.

 

So what was supposed to be a friendly visit ended in skill loss, two extra hours we both hadn't been prepared to spend, etc. Somehow I wasn't invited again...

 

Writing this down reminded me of a similar thing IRL many years ago, when a friend came round to my place (first time we met outside of uni) for a bike trip which ended abruptly when he hit a car on the way out of the yard. So we went to hospital instead... and here I thought I had improved my way of making friends since.

Edited March 12, 2015 by Marshlander

[Klaa 4,872]

So many of them over the years... burning good wood tools, walking into my own bouncy death pits, thinking I had a throwaway set of studded on for a suicide mission, which turned out to be drake, forgetting to have a helmet on during a fight (lucked out and equipped it quickly), getting shot in the crotch by an archer on my own side...

The fact I still play?

[Milosanx 716]

Can't say I've had that many derpy moments, but this one is pretty classic.

 

For those who watch my videos, you can see my mountain is not really flat at all, its all terraces made flat from wherever I hit the rock in the highest corner, hence there is little dirt up there and rock cliffs on all sides. I had done a lot of the deed including the bottom mansion, but I have a rather huge lack of fences on deed and still do.

 

I was at the forge area which happens to be right on the corner SE of the deed, as it is the dirt corner is 250+ and then there a rather large drop off down the cliff.

 

I decided to go afk, which I am good at and rarley work about any animal coming and attacking me, I just auto hit them to death. I get back from my afkness, perhaps I was getting a coffee or something and I see the dreaded red screen of death. I respawn but have no idea where I died.

 

So as it happens my 1.5-2 years old son happened to come to the keyboard and hit the forward arrow and run me over the edge. I could be anywhere down those cliffs and theres trees involved as well. 

 

So after half whining to my son, 'why, Marty, Why?'.../sob sob..I had to workout where I was.

 

I decided to look at the logs and see if anything was there. At that time there was the mag domain at the camp at the bottom of the valley and apparently I had passed into it, so i new I had to be more south than east.

 

so I traveled down the ridge a little and looked around the mountain side across a huge cliff face in from on me and saw my corpse. I was still a long way up the mountain even thought there were trees going down the side and I had to some how cross a cliff face to get to my corpse and the quickest way would be to fence ladder across. The thing was though the slopes weren't Ideal and I had a huge gap to get from one stand-able fence to where I could made the next.

 

So i didn't loose more skill from dying I think I used an alt to build that large gap fence and died from lack of stamina.

 

So I got my corpse, just made it back across the big gap and lived to tell this tale.

 

There are now tall iron fences around that edge of that corner of the deed. Pity most of the deed still has huge fenceless drops

 

To this day people I told this story still say the same thing when something bad happens

 

'Yeah Marty did it, just blame your son, good one...'

 

 

Oh I can't forget the ql1 99coc pick I mined with til it explode from no repairs ><

[Belrindor 663]

Can't say I've had that many derpy moments, but this one is pretty classic.

 

For those who watch my videos, you can see my mountain is not really flat at all, its all terraces made flat from wherever I hit the rock in the highest corner, hence there is little dirt up there and rock cliffs on all sides. I had done a lot of the deed including the bottom mansion, but I have a rather huge lack of fences on deed and still do.

 

I was at the forge area which happens to be right on the corner SE of the deed, as it is the dirt corner is 250+ and then there a rather large drop off down the cliff.

 

I decided to go afk, which I am good at and rarley work about any animal coming and attacking me, I just auto hit them to death. I get back from my afkness, perhaps I was getting a coffee or something and I see the dreaded red screen of death. I respawn but have no idea where I died.

 

So as it happens my 1.5-2 years old son happened to come to the keyboard and hit the forward arrow and run me over the edge. I could be anywhere down those cliffs and theres trees involved as well. 

 

So after half whining to my son, 'why, Marty, Why?'.../sob sob..I had to workout where I was.

 

I decided to look at the logs and see if anything was there. At that time there was the mag domain at the camp at the bottom of the valley and apparently I had passed into it, so i new I had to be more south than east.

 

so I traveled down the ridge a little and looked around the mountain side across a huge cliff face in from on me and saw my corpse. I was still a long way up the mountain even thought there were trees going down the side and I had to some how cross a cliff face to get to my corpse and the quickest way would be to fence ladder across. The thing was though the slopes weren't Ideal and I had a huge gap to get from one stand-able fence to where I could made the next.

 

So i didn't loose more skill from dying I think I used an alt to build that large gap fence and died from lack of stamina.

 

So I got my corpse, just made it back across the big gap and lived to tell this tale.

 

There are now tall iron fences around that edge of that corner of the deed. Pity most of the deed still has huge fenceless drops

 

To this day people I told this story still say the same thing when something bad happens

 

'Yeah Marty did it, just blame your son, good one...'

 

 

Oh I can't forget the ql1 99coc pick I mined with til it explode from no repairs ><

[Pomona 789]

Many moons ago I was entrusted with the mighty wand and sent on my way to help the players. My first GM call came in and eagerly I shouted up "I will take this one" and off I went. I cannot recall what the issue was but I arrived at the deed and looked to the floor. I had landed right on top of a pile of dead horses!!, nope not just one dead horse but at least a dozen of the poor things. Well my heart started racing... how was I going to explain this one to the boss? how was the player going to react when she saw I had killed all these horses by landing on them!?

 

Little did I know the player was Pashka who delights in piling up dead horses at her token or that GM's (even those with wide hips) cannot kill horses just by landing on them

[spellcast 983]

lol, derp stories... so many from over the years (I have no interest in being entered into the contest btw)

 

Probably my earliest derp story comes from way back when we were still on the old JK-H and I had been playing for only a few weeks.  I decided i had a nice little shack, and a couple of fields, and a bit of terribly noobish gear and i was going to go exploring.  So i head off into the mountains with a 17QL axe as my weapon and a random mix of chain and leather armor and start to climb this mountain, get about halfway up and there's this interesting little flat(ish) terrace that i decide to follow.  Its fairly overgrown, lots of bushes... and i get jumped by a spider (back then spiders were scary) so i take off running, right through an oleander bush and off of a cliff.  bounce three or four times on the way down and realize that i'm alive and have gotten away from the spider (yay) at which point the troll I landed on knocks me into next week and i respawn at Newtown, only to realize that my nice little shack and few fields are inside a fence... with a locked gate... and the key is on my corpse out in the middle of who knows where.(this is when i discovered the value of gate HOUSES)

 

lets see, other nice derps... when we first started the tutorial on GV, enki gave me the mission ruler and set me a few simple tasks to learn how to use it properly. I did the first few just fine, but the third one was to have a tile change from grass to pavement when someone steps on it, and i forgot to set the tile type i wanted it to become, so when i stepped on it the trigger changed the tile to... nothing.  giant hole in the world that i promptly fell into and died.

 

I've lost count of the number of times i've fallen off of cliffs and died while digging on slopes and making roads, I've burned a few highly enchanted wood tools over the years as well.

 

I once messaged someone about picking up some items i had ordered and had them confused as hell when i asked where i could dock my caravel (i had ordered bricks from several people, and mixed up the one who lived on a mountain with the one who lived by the water)

[MissWilc 521]

I logged in today, trying all my BSB's, they were all saying something was coming out, but nothing was showing up in my inventory...I asked in Freedom 'What's the deal?'...someone's like 'Support it!'...so I did. CM got to me, asked me to try logging for /lotime, and we went through the motions/asking me a few questions...still nothing...so they forwarded it to GM's...then the CM and I were chatting about other stuff...and then I asked a couple other questions, and mentioned that it was still giving me the messages...and then it dawned on me...my inventory was full. The CM must've come to the same realization about that time...they were like 'Wait, is your inventory full?' and I'm like..

 

'I just thought about that. lol'

'Oh god. That was it.'

'Resolve it! lol'

 

I'd made about 80 healing covers before I logged off, and because the token had no coins in the coffer...and they decay when not in inventory, I'd put the higher QL stuff in inventory before logging off...

 

*facepalms*

 

Do Corsan and I get extra credit for this double-derp?

[warrior 455]

I was sailing on chaos, had an alt logged off in my boat with a drake set on him. I arrived at gold coast and log him back in only to see that he is dead (wtf right?!) anyway I look around for a bit and cant find the corpse so I figure it's bugged. I was having a bad day so I just called it quits and left.

Then about 2 months later I see Fuegan write in skirmish thread saying he found a set of drake just laying around outside gold coast... 

 

Probably should have looked a bit harder lol

Edited March 13, 2015 by warrior

[Emoo 4,357]

Even more great stories of derpness! I'll be announcing the winner sometime tomorrow so make sure you post soon!

[Mith 318]

Tyrping /Fsleep on two accounts and then starting to read this.

 

Oh there are so many, though I think the "Delete account" button is way too close to the "PM account" on our private forum...

[Emoo 4,357]

Friend invites me to check out the game which I was surprised I had never heard of. So I make a toon and do the tutorial then teleport to the Howl on Indy whereupon she /vinvites me to her deed in North Indy near Ultimarus and I use the vteleport to her deed.

 

Not 10 minutes after arriving on Indy, I walk over to the next deed which looked like a town to me. I see a troll standing on the side of the road so I go over to talk to it thinking it's an NPC to see if it has a quest or is selling something. Well of course it starts bashing at me and I'm within 10 tiles of a guard tower but could not understand why the guards would not come. I had not been taught to yell help yet at this point.

 

So I die and the window asking where I want to respawn comes up, I don't see anything other than the Howl on the menu for whatever reason and select that and respawn at the Howl.

 

That was the longest hour and a half to walk back up to our deed along the shoreline and she met me halfway.

 

 

I'm pleased to annouce that Fineal is the winner of the derpest raffle ever held!

 

Thankyou everyone who shared their stories I certainly had quite a chuckle at alot of them and thankyou aswell to all those who watched my vid + Sub'd

 

I'll send you a PM Fineal and you can let me know the best way to get this to you! 

[Bachus 462]

Yes walking up to a troll and trying to start a conversation is an action worthy of of winning a prize for Derpdom.

Congrats Fineal for bing the Derpiest of the Derp! 

[silakka 2,360]

Congrats!

 

Can very well relate to that story. Very much like my first week.

[Elen 1,013]

Fell off cliff backing up from insanity troll.

[Fineal 69]

Thank you!  I had no idea I even had a chance at winning after reading all your stories. My face is sore from laughing and grinning at all the great stories.

[greenjoe12345 0]

i was walking round the village i live in, walked through a gate, sheer drop... ouch

[Budda 2,673]

Sailing 7hours thinking it was bad wind in xanadu.. I actually never pressed down X -autorun.

Never told anybody ._.

 

Oh you poor soul

[Kammerz 69]

It's ironic that I read a 'Derp Stories' topic and figure out what a derp I actually am. 

 

 

I sailed from Xanadu to Deliverance yesterday holding down the 'W' button... I just learned there is an autorun due to this thread... *dOH* I think I need to go to the doctors to get checked for RSI...I've never owned a boat before so I'm glad I learned this pretty early on....

 

Congrats Fineal! 

[Jaz 2,665]

Congrats! And to me Silakka's story on the long ride is the best of all here

[watkins141 994]

After a dragon salying on JKH I decided to log off on the boat sailing home once we crossed back to Elevation. My last words before I logged off were "don't let BL steal this boat while I'm logged off"......Naturaly BL sailed right up to our capital and stole the boat I logged off in and sailed it to one of their deeds boat mines......that was an interesting night

[Lolabelle 597]

Many moons ago I was entrusted with the mighty wand and sent on my way to help the players. My first GM call came in and eagerly I shouted up "I will take this one" and off I went. I cannot recall what the issue was but I arrived at the deed and looked to the floor. I had landed right on top of a pile of dead horses!!, nope not just one dead horse but at least a dozen of the poor things. Well my heart started racing... how was I going to explain this one to the boss? how was the player going to react when she saw I had killed all these horses by landing on them!?

 

Little did I know the player was Pashka who delights in piling up dead horses at her token or that GM's (even those with wide hips) cannot kill horses just by landing on them

I think I remember when you were trying to learn how to land. LOL

[GhengizCohen 48]

-building a 1x1 iron fence pen off deed, forgetting that the last one should be a gate and realizing i'm on the in the inside of it right after i finished. bashed the thing with my good weapon too

- I'm sure we've all done this at some time, having SB on and going for a bit of sailing and exploring, realizing it was on after burned 3+ hours haha

[Kyleshandra 205]

Was still pretty new to the game, just returned from an Impalong where I was fortunate enough to end up with lots of new 70ql toys, some even enchanted!

Didn't have enough storage to sort through the new vs. old and temporarily dumped some tools in the forge. Then forgot I had done so and happened to notice something was changing on the list of item in the forge after lighting it to cook... managed to grab my shiny new longbow as it clicked down to 9ql... I still don't know what vanished completely before I noticed.

Then, not more than a couple weeks later... right clicked on that same nasty, hungry forge to select 'repair'... and burned my shiny new 70ql, enchanted grooming brush...

I think perhaps I may have even said a bad word or two!