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Ellietrap

Depression and Wurm

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I've been playing this game off and on for a few years, but it's getting really hard on me lately.


 


I love wurm, I don't see myself ever 'quitting', but I do end up taking frequent breaks. I'll play for a month or two, and then disappear for a month or two. The reason for my disappearances is usually depression, though I did vanish once because my PC died.


 


Wurm is... not a good mix with depression. Wum has too much waiting, too much free time to think. While I'm sitting waiting on action timers, my mind runs off and makes me start thinking about my life, to the point where I end up feeling even worse about myself and just want to lay down and cry. Some days I can't even get out of bed.


 


So when I feel a particularly bad bout of depression coming on, I leave. I find something else to do, something more busy, something that keeps me entertained without giving me too much time to think myself into despair. 


 


Now, it's hard to keep myself with premium time, or to even keep my village with upkeep. I waste so much silver and resources just making sure I have a place to come 'home' to when I do come back.


 


I love this game and this community, and hopefully I'll be seeing you all ingame more often than I have been lately.


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Very sad to hear.


With problems like that you just have to keep mind busy with other stuff.. has helped me.


Shooting games really let you forget things, can be good or bad heh :) Wurm can be total opposite.


In wurm my best advice would be to join a very big + busy village with lots of ongoing projects.


You dont always have to participate, but the busy alliance/village chat does keep nice company.


 


Right now in wurm you live middle of nowhere near my deed that is also middle of nowhere, cele is already silent as it is, which doesn't help the matter.


Hope you find the right people to share your wurm time with, who keep you a little busier ^^ - even justt getting 2 new players to your deed gives whole new headaches.


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I found quite the opposite during my medical issues last year, Wurm was the one thing that kept me occupied enough to take my mind off things. Having a dozen people or more around at all times to talk to whenever I was feeling low helped remediate that feeling and kept me afloat.


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In wurm my best advice would be to join a very big + busy village with lots of ongoing projects.

You dont always have to participate, but the busy alliance/village chat does keep nice company.

 

This, very much so. You just need to log in, socialize and have fun. Not worry about if the deed is paid up or if the fences need mending.

 

Not to intrude upon your real life, but if you are suffering make sure you are getting help. Too many people just try to get by with depression because of the unfunded social stigma.

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Ellietrap,


Your description makes me sad to hear that you sometimes fall into a deeper state of depression from spending time within Wurm. I understand that it can be a lonely place at times if you do not interact with others and Wurm can contribute to a feeling of isolation when spending much time alone. Myself, the majority of my time spent in game is alone and I prefer this because I can get a lot accomplished, enjoying the process of doing so.


 


I think really this condition needs some help from organizations that deal with it and you should seek that out. While players may sympathize with you and offer suggestions, only working over time with others who have some qualifications in dealing with this condition can be of the most effective help. In the interim I do hope you can find continued enjoyment within this game and when it does not provide that, then I think it is time to take a break from it for a while, as you have done.


 


Safe Travels


=Ayes=


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Hey Eliie,


 


I'm really sorry to hear about your struggles... I had my fair share of bad moments over time, so I can totally understand you...


 


What I found out to work for me was to exercise... even medically that has an explanation since exercising enhances the action of endorphins, chemicals that circulate throughout the body. Endorphins improve natural immunity and reduce the perception of pain. They may also serve to improve mood. Another theory is that exercise stimulates the neurotransmitter norepinephrine, which may directly improve mood.


 


So what I do is to mix wurm with exercising... and I think the long action timers are great for this.


 


And try focusing on the good things... here's a good example:


 


JZrNpr_large.jpg

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You've always been a pleasure to talk with in kchat and the few time's I've seen you in alliance chat. Please know, Ellie, that if you'd like you are more then welcome to live with us at New Port Benden. Upkeep is paid for and not required by villagers and never will be. We have the entire island covered so plenty of room for you. Please keep that as an option if you are to come back but can't maintain your deed. Always a place for you if you'd like.

Take care of yourself! I may have not met you in real life or even know you very well but would be saddened to never see you return to Wurm as it brings such awesome people together.

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There are many that silently suffer varying ranges of depression. because there is often a stigma associated with it people are reluctant to talk about it.  Depending on severity, more professional solutions with or with out medication may be helpful.  Exercise is a great natural way to buffer that, as it increases endorphins..which are our body's happy feeling of well being chemicals we produce in the process.  That aside..as those things reside in the RW...lets talk about Wurm..the great and almost more important world.  Perhaps find a very active village or couple of players to derp with so your mind is occupied and you are having social interactive fun varrying up your activities so as not to fall into a slump.  Use some type of voice comms (mumble, teamspeak, raidcall, skype) to build a richer play experience.  Deed pressures can often add more challenge to the mix yet more often act as a safety when bumping into griefer players or other misfortunes like "red train express" via trolls and hell hounds.  Keep with us..wurm loves everyone.  and if you feel you have just entered crazy..keep driving through until you reach the other side


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Hey Ellie,


 


Always good to see you in game, when you are around. And it's terrible news about your depressions... although what's news to us has been your daily routine for quite some time. I feel like I should have some words of wisdom here, but really, everything I can say you probably have heard already. Still, don't let the depression beat you. Get some help! Everyone deserves to be happy. No sense of losing days, weeks, years to this. People have beat these things many times!


 


When I started this game, you had already been a player for quite some time. I remember seeing your name on the forums from early on. You are very much part of the core of the community now, so it's good to have you with us when you play. I hope that after you take your breaks and come back you not only feel that your Wurm home has been waiting for you, but all the players who know you are glad to see you as well.


 


Don't give in! Fight this and win. And in Wurm, find yourself a deed-mate (yes, I invented a word here) or a co-owner, so that when you take a leave of absence, someone else is taking care of the land, putting less stress on you, perhaps even financially.


 


My PM in game is always open. I am no expert on such issues, but it's amazing how great of a listener I can be. I have been trained by the finest girlfriends out there. And I do care.


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Thanks for all the support, guys. This community is awesome. Usually when I bring up my issues with depression, people often aren't very understanding or just go 'well stop being depressed, problem solved.'.


 


Thank you all.


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I can't honestly say I don't know much about depression. It always seemed somewhat a matter of perspective to me, but I'm sure that often isn't the case.


 


I do know that if I find myself playing too much wurm, vs not exercising...or getting $&^% done for that matter, can get me down.


 


A lot of folks push exercise for depression. While exercise does release endorphins and upgrade your dopamine receptors, I think the even bigger reason it helps so much with depression is that it's "doing what's right". I think we're generally happiest when we do the right thing.


 


That said, if you go out and try and run a marathon tomorrow minus any training.... that most certainly will NOT help your depression. If you spend a few hours a day imporving yourself in some way, then well...our physical health goes a long way. Why not start there?


 


Spending 5 hours in the day smoking wemp, watching Portlandia on Netflix, and playing Wurm is not going to be great for your mental health.... trust me on that ;P


Edited by BrandonSF
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A game can be a small lifeline. Don't start to see it as a chore, since then it will add to your feeling of not being competent enough. But it can be a lifeline, with a home away from the terrible real world, and friends who only take you for who you want to be, not for the failures you feel you've had. Try not to lose that feeling. Depression is a terribly lonely place, and games can be one of the few safe places you can have during such a desperate episode in your life.


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Yeah, "have you tried NOT being depressed?" has to be the stupidest question ever asked. One thing I like about Wurm versus other games is that you have a real sense of progress. Whether from building a deed, raising skills, or whatever project you're working on, you can see the change after working on it. Don't let it become a chore though. If the only reason you're playing is because you think you HAVE to get something done... don't play.

One thing I love to do during the long action timers is to watch interesting videos. There're great things on YouTube, TED talks, and other lectures which can be really helpful. Having struggled with depression, I've found that listening to people explain their experiences, or learning more about the mental illness can really help to overcome it.

Above all else.. Keep this in mind. You're worth it. Don't give up on yourself, I guarantee that if you have low self esteem, you're way more valuable than you think you are.

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Aye ellie and i echo nomadikhans offer offer of a place to stay or busywork (be warned tho I am" Bolovs Neighbor,",) and i am glad to see you in our alliance.=) we have some great ppl and there are many more in the community.If there is any way to help just holler, you are not swimming alone =)


 


 


p.s. you can join  me in Destiny during the slow wurm hours , after 9-9-14 that won't leave you time to think =p


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I have suffered with depression myself, so I know exactly what you are talking about. It's easy to let your mind start wandering off and trying to find a solution to all our problems while watching the status bar, especially when sat in a room alone. I get round it by listening to music, talking in voice chat, or just doing a range of stuff in-game. 


Drinking does not help, it just makes it ten times worse.


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In the situation where you have periodic depression, It only adds to it to feel like your wasting your game money.  You might search for a village to live in, That is run by a dependable mayor, Which also allows you to build your own house, And terraform as you see fit, Within reason of course.  And explain before hand that you take breaks, But don't mind contributing to the upkeep of the village when you are online.  I also suffer from this, But rather than focusing on one thing at a time, I play many different types of games.  And when I begin to become depressed and agitated in wurm, I limit myself to farming and animal care, And then go play something else. Or go do work around my house.  This way I don't become completely upset and quit the game.  I just refocus myself for a while.  And then the day comes that I am suddenly overcome by the desire to build something in a game. And there I am again hard at work. It may be an emotional thing, But it can be handled logically.


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Thanks for all the support, guys. This community is awesome. Usually when I bring up my issues with depression, people often aren't very understanding or just go 'well stop being depressed, problem solved.'.

 

Thank you all.

 

Unfortunately that is the way with many mental issues such as depression. If someone had a broken leg you wouldn't just tell them to get on with things. You would take time and help them out. Should be the same way with all problems people have.

 

Like others have said, I find faced paced games such as FPS or my current favorite, Path of Exile helps take your mind off things. Kind of like meditation in a weird way.

 

Never spoken to you in-game, but hope to see you around some time :)

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I'm sad to hear of your situation Ellie, but I would advise talking to some peeps to try and keep the nasty timers away.


I've been mostly an on/off player for the exact reasons you said, whenever I try and play Wurm I start flattening out an area, or making a mine, and suddenly I find myself sitting there, hollowed out, wondering all sorts of negative things. 


However, this year when I came back to see the new Xandu server, I tried mingling a bit. Instead of settling out on a random mountain, I did it 20~ minutes away from a starting point, and with two awesome neighbors.


Communication is key if you suffer from a wandering mind, and it can do wonders for ya  ;)


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Sometimes 3 deep breathes change everything in life.


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Accept reality the way it is. We all have problems. Be it relationships, job, families or health they are there and exist for everyone. Bitching about them is not gonna solve or change anything. Take responsibility for your life and understand that whatever doesn't work for you, you can try and change it. Even now, right at this moment that you are reading this text in this monotonous environment, you can open up a new tab in your browser, go to facebook to speak with other people or if possible to meetup.com or allevents.in and see what events are organized in your area. Join one, go there, see new people and new images. If it's possible travel. Go on group organized expenditions via agents. Will it change something ? I can't say for sure, but it has its chances and those are greater than doing nothing. Cause doing nothing, will change nothing. You will be amazed by how many people are out there and more importantly, how you are not the only one that feels this way. 


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I hope you are not punishing yourself by not being around more in wurm :) It's something I do all too often, creating expectations in my head that other people could have and then stress out about it and "loose" my safe harbor I have in wurm. Wurm is waiting and everything in this game, every accomplishment is holding waaaaaay longer then you may think and that also goes for the people in it.


Those who stay for a longer time are usually never really gone and most of them will be around no matter how long you are absent :)


 


I am happy that I can say, that I made really good friends with some people in wurm and that they even help me with my own depression.


Good thing about wurm in my opinion? those "nasty" timers are really good to spend in chat :) I had hours of surface mining just gone by constantly talking about everything.


 


also...its important you don't force yourself, be gentle to yourself, treat yourself with respect and pay attention to what your body and mind tells you. It's possible that you don't like it or don't want to hear it, but in my opinion depression is not something that tries to harm us, but something that tries to warn us, that we are not feeling good about decisions we made or that other people made for us and that we need to rest properly.


Try to listen to it, sometimes the things it's telling us is worth alot to pay attention too, which btw. doesn't mean that you need to approve bad thoughts. 


 


If your leg hurts, you also need to listen to your body and observe it first to find out whats causing it :) so you can remove the issue and get some resting time to let your body heal the broken leg.


The same way I think depression works, it's "just" more difficult to observe your own mind without getting upset about it and it takes alot of time to learn HOW, but once you start understanding what is causing the pain, you are on the best way of healing yourself.


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If you feel like you need some more intensive Wurm play you can become my personal slave in game, I will not allow you to wait, actions will be very fast, tasks will be demanding. And being serious try some fitness or gym real life can change everything when you set yourself some nice targets in life and follow them. Stay happy.


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Gaming is nice escapism..and nice entertainment..yet sometimes in game you experience..real emotions..the more emersed once becomes in the game..the more it feels as if an extension of self.  In that..when you have encounters with other players in the game..they can be rewarding..or cause serious reactions that cause unhappiness triggering depression.  Wurm is rewarding in it's fruitfullness..the feeling of accomplishment..in that, it can be a good stimulator  to our sense of well being.  Especially if real life is not going well or charged with negative feelings.  yet if played in duration..can cast doubts on productiveness in real live and cause a mixed bag of emotions.  try to tweek that balance that works for you.  Wurm can be a great tool in entertainment value..to be a cozy spot to distract a racing mind and quasi participate in interactions with people via game chat or voice comms..they help a great deal, feeling connected in some way.  I myself couple wurm play with long runs..i do both for mental well-being over fitness..the fitness is a great extra bonus..and the long duration of running also raises serotonin levels and edorphins..chemical that gives you a sense of well being and causes what is known as the "runner's high"


Edited by Greasygrundle
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