anyone else have an annoying wife, or spouse?

[validate 598]

my wife made me a thanksgiving meal today..  the turkey was done well. but no flavor  , the patatoes mashed but very chunky. so not fully cooks. the gravy. omg  i mean turkey soup for the mash-chuck-patatoes was  NOT gravy . no thickness at all.  

 

i of course say nothing as i value my life.

 

2nd thing today . my last b-day in march i told her all i want is pants for work. she bought me 2 pair. 1 didn't fit. so she took it back and didn't get me another pair. just kept the money lol

 

3 days ago i bought 3 pairs of pants and 3 shirts.   2 pair did not fit and 1 shirt was too big.  no i dont try on first. no time.  my wife took them back today and exchanged 1 pair of pants as it was the last one.  she kept the money for the 1 pair of pants and 1 shirt.

 

i mean she buys me a gift and takes it back and keeps the money. fine  she spent the money.  but now she takes what i bought back and keeps the money.

 

is this the marriage rules.  whats her's is her's and whats mine is also her's  lol  i mean it's a whole $30 so i didn't argue with her.  i did say she can keep it and go get an oil change on our nitro which will cost $100 i think.

 

anyone else go though these kind of things?     i do live with the redneck rule. if she's unhappy long enough. i'll be unhappy with half my stuff.

[Xor 684]

that doesn't sound annoying, that sounds like life.

 

Communicate your feelings to her.. nobody else can help you if you don't

[Eyesgood 2,121]

Take it from someone married 27+ years.  If you treat her like a queen, she will treat you like a king.

 

Take care of her and go buy her something totally unexpected and surprise her.  You might be surprised how much you get back from your investment.

 

The rest (like the clothes, etc.) will take care of themselves.

[Mormo 353]

You can always get a divorce.

[Bloodscythe 2,225]

you are on dangerous ice.  even if you are right..you are wrong!  tread carefully.  it's all perspective.   my ex once gave me my birthday card in hallmark..i read it., she put it back on the shelf....i was even kind to step foot in a place like hallmark card store...my systems were lurching from it..that place gives me the uneasies n tummy troubles

[Hashirama 870]

I will agree with eyesgood...its not just one person who wants to be happy..maybe she also wants more from you..and thinks she deserves more...just keep her super happy..sing songs for her and stuff..one can learn so many things from girls/women..and it does make guys/men a better person.

[Tissotx 217]

u r a lucky man validate

i wish half as much exciting things would happen in my life

[Kruggan 519]

Take it from someone married 27+ years.  If you treat her like a queen, she will treat you like a king.

 

Take care of her and go buy her something totally unexpected and surprise her.  You might be surprised how much you get back from your investment.

 

The rest (like the clothes, etc.) will take care of themselves.

 

I agree with the above post 100%.  Married 19 years.  If there's one golden rule in life it's this.... if she ain't happy... you ain't happy.  Now that doesn't mean she's always right or never makes mistakes (or you for that matter).  It just means that marriage is compromise and in the end... you do what it takes to make your queen happy... or you decide to not be married.  There isn't really a third direction in my opinion.

Edited August 21, 2014 by Kruggan

[boombza 515]

You can always get a divorce.

Dr Phill at your service. 

[Viti 400]

my wife made me a thanksgiving meal today..  the turkey was done well. but no flavor  , the patatoes mashed but very chunky. so not fully cooks. the gravy. omg  i mean turkey soup for the mash-chuck-patatoes was  NOT gravy . no thickness at all.  

 

 

 

Just up front: I dont aim this personally at you Validate, it is just my thoughts and opinion of what I would think if my fiance told me your story

 

Be careful with this. I am rather sure she doesnt "make it taste bad" on purpose, nor do I think it is a worthwhile complaint. Tastes simply differ. Maybe she tried something new to surprise you and it just didnt turn out as she hoped. Dont take her for granted. You are not dining in a 5 star restaurant with a top chef. I am sure she worked hard on the "flavorless turkey and the lumpy potatoes"

 

If my fiance would tell me this it would end up in a huge fight. "If you dont like my cooking then make your own bleeping food. Dont I cook it like momma does? Maybe yous hould go back to her" would have been my type of response. Maybe you should wash your own underwear. You stopped wooing me years ago. You take me for granted. You dont do x anymore and you stopped y. Do you have a mistress? we havent been intimate for months. Who is she???

 

There are always 2 sides to a coin  Bringing up little silly things like this will only lead to bigger things that we both know she has been building up for the right time to explode onto you =-)

 

I am sure you are also not mister perfect white knight in shining armor either and I am sure she puts up with a lot from your side and simply lets it slide as part of the compromise. Hopefully, because she loves you. And she cares. Seeing your signature, she puts up with a lot of wurm-neglect from your side as well. 

 

The money issue.. dont go there. I am sure she didnt marry you so she can run off with 30 dollars a week

 

To add some humor to this post, cause rereading it it sounds pretty bad, haha , but I really dont mean it that bad. I mostly try to look at it if I was her, in this situation, and read this and try to relate and hope it helps you a bit at least.

 

What is the difference between a man and childbirth? 

One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby. 

 

Try not to think too much about the little things. You will miss it all if it would be gone one day and you come home and there is no food at all. Or come home and nobody got you any pants, or exchanged any shirts at all, and then slip into your cold bed all by yourself.

 

Having said all this.. you shouldnt get totally unhappy as well. If this really bothers you this much that you want to risk your relationship for it,..  Ask yourself if you love her. If the answer is a fullmouthed yes without any thought; then, for all what it is worth, let these little things slide. If it is not, then you might want to do some serious soulsearching and start by talking to her. In a normal tone. Not in a "I am unhappy and you should do better" tone. Dont let little things get out of hand. They go sour quicker then you might think and have disastrous lifechanging effects on both you and her and, in the case of children, them even more so.

 

"Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have".

 

Edited August 21, 2014 by Viti

[validate 598]

the dinner was still good to eat.  just no more gravy making for her.

 

and ya when we first got married. i made the huge mistake.  those cookies are hard.  my moms can come out of the freezer soft.    12th yr anniversary is this sunday. and i've gone 11 yrs without any cookies. unless i steal from my kids. lol

 

oh and i just watched my almost 3 yr old.  come up from shower, walk into the bathroom up here. climb up the sink. open the mirror cabinate.  take out her tooth brush and tooth paste, climb down and bring to me to put on.    Cute as heck.   but ah  we have all the pills in there.  so i'll be moving those in a few minutes.

 

i do a lot for my wife.  i bought her a small SUV last yr 17k .  it's not that she needed the money. it's just she didn't even say or ask for it.  i have her on an allowance .  she goes over often. lol

[Viti 400]

Haha well, I have no business interfering with your life, nor do I know what is going on, so you should take my advice with some gravy (and perhaps some lumpy potatoes ). Your last post makes me think there are many happy moments too that outweigh the little annoyances and you just need to air the little annoyances at times.

 

I hope she is the type of wife that can laugh about her failed gravy etc, haha. I know I can if it is brought in the right way

 

I think the money wise, I suspect she doesnt even realize it is an issue and just sees your combined money as "you and her both". I personally dont think she has any bad intentions with it. It is just something that can be expected. Yours is hers and hers is yours

 

I really hope everything will turn out fine and you get to bask in the wondrous moments of seeing your child(ren) grow up together till you are laying against each other on the couch, reminiscing about flavorless lumpy turkeys, old and happy, while your grandchildren are climbing up on the sink and your daughter/son is moving the pills for little grandson/daughter-validate while the significant other of your child is making you bricks cause your old fingers dont have the strength anymore to click that much 

Edited August 21, 2014 by Viti

[Lovefall 148]

In a family you should not have her on allowance...

Actually you should not see it as MY money and YOUR money, but as OUR money... same for anything else...

Love is about sharing everything, not being selfish...

[Aetherwalker 1,863]

The rest of us, who are single, or can't be with the person we want to be with, or have trust issues, and actually have problems with relationships.
Then there's you, complaining about gravy.

 

...

Seriously?

[jambi 9]

Happy wife, happy life.

[Judicator 539]

That's why I love being forever alone! Never have to deal with those damn annoying relationships! I also get to keep all the money I don't have!

 

 

 

 

 

_{Totally by choise}

[Wurmhole 3,650]

That is strange, I love your wife's gravy...

[Ruger 610]

All these comments are unnecessary. 

 

Yes.

 

What is yours is hers and what is hers is also hers. Anything you get is only on loan to you.

[Aeris 3,764]

Yeah my wife's horrible, whenever I let her out of the basement she tries to reach for the phone so I end up having to lock her up again. Geez, will she never learn?

[Heboric 808]

<snip>....my moms......</snip>

 

Seems to me that could be a problem right there.

 

Meanwhile - sometimes I have no idea how my wife puts up with me.

Edited August 21, 2014 by Heboric

[darthryan 588]

my wife made me a thanksgiving meal today.

[snakegal 177]

I still live at home, my dad usually does the gravy, maybe you can try doing that too, so it suits your taste. For the money issue, maybe you can talk to her about it(calmly). She might not know you're feeling it's an issue. She maybe felt like she went out of her way to return it, so kept the money etc. Communication is important, as you probably know.

[Miretta 1,415]

im not sure what to say, all responses so far a creeping me out a little bit tbh

 

I thought a relationship is about trust and honesty and beeing able to be yourself without needing to fear judgement from your partner? And that would also mean, beeing able to talk about things that may annoy you, it's both sides that want the relationship, it's not "your wife" only having the relationship....

and also, I think it is good to have seperate money, IF it's possible though, since then for those things or kinda pocket money both have, you don't need to ask your partner if it's ok to use it and there is no reason to complain also.

 

but the way you are doing it right now, it seems the borders are not set, else you wouldn't be annoyed by it.

And well...not telling her about it is not gonna make the "problem" vanish either. Maybe, instead of going into specific situations when talking to her, you could approach it like:

"Hey darling, I wanted to ask you for some advice, because I feel a bit unhappy about this and that and don't really know how to approach the problem"

 

This way of approaching has the advantage that it's NOT an accusation of her doing it all wrong, it's telling her your feelings (which are subjective) and asking for advice should let go of all defenses of her to try to be mad at you because you are including her into your thinking process. that is, of course only if "darling" is not already offending her somehow thats something you need to know XD

 

 

but oh well... and regarding the cooking I wouldn't really know what to advise. My husband is kinda eating everything and if he doesn't take more than his first plate I know it was ok but not good, if he takes more it was good XD he doesnt even need to say anything but he also thinks im better cook than him, so who knows, maybe it could be already helping if you offer to cook instead of her sometimes,because im pretty sure if your cooking is better than hers, that she is either trying to cook better or you will have to do cooking from then on or she let's you help her cooking^^ but if you are like: you just dont wanna cook!, then no one can help you mate XD you have to live with what she is serving you ;D

Edited August 21, 2014 by Miretta

[Docterchese 1,570]

I sort of understand your gravy complaint. I have a really bad relationship with my parents (we can hardly talk about anything without argument :-/) and the number of things I put up with to avoid having to argue about it is insane. From not liking some food to being annoyed at some money thing, I have the lot and really wish that I got on better with them so we could actually talk about problems and solve them.

I think the key for you is probably to try and talk about problems more. Your wife needs to know that they're only small things that bother you a bit, and that talking about them would stop them building up into anything bigger. Being able to constructively criticise seems to be a skill you ought to learn. :3

[Klaa 4,872]

Single and loving it.