SinNombre

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About SinNombre

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  1. Hello all This is going to be a mess and a long post, writing is not my best skill. You have been warned. I wont say my nickname, just I was a player during quite some time who fell inmediatly in love with Wurm, but it didnt take long since I realised i needed a subscription to advance and enjoy the game more and more. I found it fair since servers and staff arent free, and being my country the one with the highest rate of youth unemployment of Europe, and after sending dozens and dozens and dozens of resumes and not having a single answer I decided spending my petty money here would be dire. For me and for my social life, so I accepted I had to work in a videogame to sell bulk stuff in order to get the silver. And I genuily learnt to love it, seriously, and enjoyed the part about sailing to deliver and the interaction with the surprisingly polite playerbase. Even focused on farming and became, as one customer referred to me, a "legendary farmer". This was 3-4 years ago, sadly I never could stay more than 2 months playing Wurm because I grew bored and even felt for the first time "burn out" from all the working, skill grinding and generally and this is what makes Wurm different from other games, the lack of instant gratification that makes you move and look for your fun, instead of being given like in most games. Staying sit after a day of study or doing house chores, clicking 2 buttons to make bricks or farm a farmfield was quite tough for me, despite enjoying podcasts and music on the background. Maybe its because Im young (24) and I like something more exciting, or maybe my lack of outdoors hobbies because of the economical situation of my country and my small social net, I dont know, but I quickly burnt out every time I came back and tried to take on a new project, or make some money. After uninstalling I played another game and it was okay. I always liked pvp and competition and getting into groups for this, and liked to dedicate to the game while I was not studying or working out or hanging out with friends, but something weird happened, like, ALWAYS 2-3 months after quitting Wurm: I had sudden craving for Wurm. Over and over along the years, I could play World of Warships, have a nice clan to do competitive play, feeling the game fun and engaging, then after 2-3 months suddenly I was bored, I started thinking of Wurm, the reward you felt when you achieved a goal, the sense of adventure sailing around in a boat to deliver goods, while in awe looking at the unnecesary big buildings people made, sometimes bumping into an abandoned deed and grabbing some shards or logs to make money with, etc. Everything I got bored of Wurm, in a moment appeared like the most amazing and gamer-like fulfilling thing in a videogame, suddenly I didnt mind the grind or the work. Spending 45 minutes raking a 1k tiles farmfield to sell my 90ql whemp for 5s? got it. Grinding for weeks to be able to make my own knarr, put a cool Nordic name on it and explore every server? best gamer plan ever. Grind my combat skills and find a group to sail to Chaos to exchange blows and loot someone? oh my goodness. I think you get the idea. Then I came back on my old character, and before 1 month had passed (in 1 ocassion 2 months) I was already bored, burnt and even anxious about doing a job for someone or paying the subscription or getting enough money for next subscription, I have to confess I wasnt particularly good at organizing my time and never thought about doing a bit of work every day in order to get 10s a month. I wanted to get all of it ASAP, causing me lots of anxiety and burning me out even quickier. This has been a cycle for years, and Im really done with it but I dont know how to stop it, cant engage with literally any game, be it LoL, LOTRO, WoWs, Valorant, CS:GO, I have tried most of the modern games and not so modern, and despite being hyped the first days or weeks, I go back to thinking of Wurm, of grinding, of achieving goals and feeling tremendously great about them, but after a period time between days and weeks, I stop seeing the things I liked about Wurm as positive and quickly uninstalled. My point with this post is to talk this out, and maybe find some wise advise on what to do and how to deal with this, perhaps someone has been or is in the same situation and is as frustrated as me, and please dont say the "ah, everybody come and go, its okay" because I dont like that, I like sticking to a plan and reaching the end, not starting and finishing all the time. Some quick info in case somebody wants to play the psychologist game: -Are you addicted to Wurm? since I first discovered Wurm I have been logged out most of them time than being on, and never canceled any social plan to work or grind here. -Maybe you spend too much time on gaming? that is true, i like working out outdoors and hanging out with friends, but i am a quick learner so i get bored fast of routines running in a park (tho i can train that discipline). Im aware i need more hobbies and Im taking up some new ones like reading or coding so I dont play that much. Still, gaming is my passion and my favorite pasttime, i want 1 online game to dedicate my gaming time to, not switching. -Depression? i eat and do social activities normally, my sleeping schedule is messed but thats my fault because im very active at night, so nope no depression -Anxiety? well, when you are 24 in a "first world" country, with a degree, English language, no girlfriend, jobless and little money and no chance to keep on studying until i can sign up for a Masters in June, yes, it causes me lots of anxiety because I want to go back to studying -Too much time? possibly, when I was officially studying at university the Wurm craving were more spaced in time. Instead of every 2-3 months, ruining my dedication for other game, it was like every 4-6 months. Playing Wurm after studying for an exam was mentally killing for me, I was already mentally tired and being in front of the screen making bricks for hours was even more tiring. Let alone grinding. Some years ago I spent a whole Summer, my most active time, grinding farming to 90, investing 2-4 hours every day. At the end of the day I felt like I had no fun at all and I was wasting my time in Wurm. Quit, 2 months later I was back again lol. -Some form of mental connection? at my most active time explained above I had some very severe problems at home, which at the same time happened with my university exams. It was such a dire suffering (talking about BIG family and financial issues), my anxiety sky-rocketed and found a shelter in Wurm. Maybe somehow my brain is still attached to Wurm because of the evasion it granted me in the past, and because now Im having a bit of anxiety for not being able to work on my life goals (which now is finishing my studies) might be involved. -Why dont you keep trying finding a job? I do, I have even researched for building companies to contact them but even to lay bricks or mix concrete you need +5 years of experience and a title (thank you for overregulating the job market, left wing goverment!). Maybe I will lucky some day but still its difficult. I know people who work without salary, just to get the experience, Ill let you process that. -Maybe organise yourself better, work/grind when you feel like it and schedule inside of your gaming time when to work and when to enjoy? That is a good idea but Im a mess at organizing, im too radical to take small steps. -Have a second game to get your instant gratification and so not exhausting your brain with mind-boggling clicking? that makes me feel two things: Wurm is not fun and therefore worthless to spend my time on, and the time Im not working is time Im not earning silver to pay for sub, and saving for my future deed. -Lack of discipline? i dont have any outside of studying, and I am 24 years old lol... -Maybe Wurm isnt your game? THEN WHY THE F*** I KEEP LITERALLY CRAVING TO PLAY IT AGAIN?? -I dont know mate, just come back and play to your tune? in January I decided to stop this and blocking my main and my alt believing that would help me to avoid the wishes. I changed my emails and password to nonsensical words made by clicking many keys at the same time without looking, so I would need to start fresh again because I am an idiot and months of grinding forever lost. One of the ocassions I came back I tried my luck in NFI (i always played in Xanadu) and it was pretty tought to survive the first weeks of grind, I quit. But that could be fixed with a better discipline lol -Write down what you like in a game? I did, I have a clear sense of what I like, what I enjoy in a game, etc. Wurm meets it all, excepting the competition (pvp) thing, althought im a bit tired of so much pvp. And a second game for when i feel like pvping can fix that. I like grinding (with some limits)to achieve goals, i like freedom, i like completing things and achievements, i like exploring, i like being a merchant, i specially like being able to enjoy pve and pvp at the same time without having to worry about my deed, i like the nice people i have met here and the stories they tell me, i like feeling like im writing my own story. I just dont like how dull Wurm is, maybe im too used to quick fun and gratification like most youngling which would explain why this game has so many mature-old people, i dont like siting for hours on end, clicking creating or imping something. Again, maybe thats me. So to sum this huge amount of words and to make it a bit less cringe, a summary: I love Wurm and I dont like its core mechanics after some time, no game can replace Wurm´s place in my heart no matter how hard I try to focus on the other games differences and positive aspects. Im not addicted nor depressed because I lack most requirements. I do lack variety in my hobbies, discipline and maybe i wont be this worried when i go back to studying. Probably will be worried and sad after finishing studying because i cant and i wont be able to enjoy my favorite pastime. What should I do? Have you been in a similar situation?