If you join a pvp server, you can usually try to join one of the main kingdoms, whether it's on epic or chaos. Most people are very friendly and accepting towards new players. The home servers (which are on the epic cluster) are also good places to start learning if you're new, lots of people are always looking to teach newer players. You wont be killed on sight, it's possible, but has personally never happened to me after playing on them for a long time. The freedom servers are possible too, you can check out the recruitment section of the forums and ask to join a village, it's really the best way to get started in wurm.