Your points aren't wrong - if people spotted you out in the wild you would be attacked 100%
However, I will say that it's really unlikely you run into anyone. In my entire time of leveling my fight skill (so purely hunting and not looking for fights), I can only remember getting one 'enemy' in local and I went and killed them. As long as you stick to your own kingdom's territory, you'll be fine almost all the time.
In regards to sailing it would be REALLY unlikely that you run into people already in a boat. Most people will NOT respond quickly if you were to hit local because they aren't fast enough OR they think you are baiting for a trap. Paying attention to a map of settlements while sailing and avoiding coastal settlements is always a good course of action.
Chaos is not about solo play and never will be. The group aspect of it is what makes it fun and gives the game purpose - to anyone on the fence about PVP, take a look at the kingdoms out there and join one that will align with your playstyle the best. I think most people would be surprised how welcoming Chaos is, despite how loud we can be on the forums sometimes.